Dunham Family

Can you imagine being married to HER!

2012-01-08T15:00:00.003-07:00

During the holiday season, Ethan's Catholic school held a Christmas program in which the First Graders presented the Birth of Jesus to the congregation of Sacred Heart in Boise. Our son is not really very shy, and when he had the opportunity to select his "character," he immediately said "Joseph!" Obviously, Joseph is a big role in any Nativity play.

The girl who played Mary has an interesting relationship with our son. Earlier during the first semester of the year, she actually bullied Ethan on the playground to the extent there was a "talking to" about her behavior. However, it seems, in reality, that she and Ethan may actually like each other meaning their roles in the Nativity play were either typecasting or prophetic.

However, when Ethan was explaining to me about who was playing Mary, he exclaimed, "Dad! Can you imagine being married to HER!" This comment was close on the heels of his comment to his mother about playing Joseph when he said, "Great. 6 years old with a kid."

The play was a major success as those things go, and he was happy to have his buddy Joshua in the play along with the rest of the first graders.

Independence....

2012-01-08T14:52:00.002-07:00

Ethan turns 7 years old in a couple of weeks and his sense of independence (and desire for it) is expanding as quickly as his vocabulary. He now routinely asks to do routine tasks by himself such as turning the security system on and off in the house. It's actually a pretty sophisticated process, and he takes it very seriously.

Part of his insistence on setting the alarm is, I suspect, to allay his continuing concerns about the burglary we had over a year ago. He continues to show apprehension even in the house with the doors locked. So, setting the alarm is important not only for his security but also for his growing sense of independence.

This sense of independence takes on other forms as well. He now wants to use the rest room by himself in public places. Just last night, we attended the Borah-Capital High School varsity BB game, and he insisted on going to the bathroom by himself as well as standing in the concession line to buy his own snacks. I was pleased to see that he routinely turned around to make sure we were watching him. And we were! Independence only goes so far on both the kid and parent side!

Having a son...in an evil world populated by Predatory Paternos...

2011-11-10T20:16:00.013-07:00

Today, I took my son to school knowing I was leaving him to get on an airplane for yet another meeting out of town. Granted, it's only an overnight trip to Portland, OR; however, I was gone for two nights last week and one night earlier this week.

Over the weekend he admonished me that I need to get a different job such as a "mechanic because they know how to do cool things, make lots of money, and don't have to travel."

It is heart breaking enough to leave my family even for short periods, but it's been even more difficult as our son matures enough to think about time. And he is getting older by the minute it seems from First Grade to losing teeth to learning to read.

But, as he gets older, all the evils of the world descend into my psyche. Today, when I left him at school, he walked toward the gate, turned, and waved goodbye. I could see the love in his face. I hoped he didn't see the tears and fears in mine.

"Fears" because like parents throughout time, I worry about him. It goes beyond simple happiness. It is fear of basic physical safety in these troubling times.

When I was a kid, for the most part, we didn't worry too much about evil in the neighborhood. We didn't think twice about riding bikes and walking to school. I was in the Cub Scouts, and who would have known that 42 years later, the very first responsibility I have as a parent of a new Cub Scout would be to read him the first chapter of the Cub Scout handbook that outlines his expected responses to inappropriate sexual advances. Wow....

So, today as he walked away from me, my little boy with his bright smile, his camo backpack, and his bountiful future in front of him, I thought not only of the Cub Scout hand book that now mandates I confront my son with evil before he even turns 7 years old, but also of the disgusting debacle that is the Penn State sexual scandal involving men in authority who sacrificied young boys at the altar of collegiate athletics.

Men who did disgusting things to little boys like my son were shielded from retribution by people like the fallen Joe Paterno because glory, championships, and money were more important than integrity and protecting young boys.

And, I watched in disgust as pretentious, elitist students protested the necessary Paterno ouster evidently believing that Paterno and his staff turning a blind eye to the rape of little boys by a member of his staff was OK so long as the team was winning. These myopic idiots should look at their own kids, nephews, cousins, etc. and ask "What if it had been one of them?" I think their stupid defense of molestors and their co-conspirators would wither away in embarrassment and realization of the devasting facade on which their athletic success was based.

There will be a special place in Hell for Paterno and his ilk. Prior to taking the elevator to their just rewards, those most culpable for this disgusting horror story will, hopefully, spend the rest of their lives in prison where they can pin their certificates, pennants, and accolades on the walls of their cell.

At least Paterno is old enough that his date with destiny is at least imminent. The boys he essentially allowed to be victimized have years left to live with the horrors he helped inflict by his indifference as he sought money and accolades at their expense.

But for me, it reminds me again about how important it is to protect my little boy who waved goodbye to me this morning as he walked into school. How will I know? What more can we do to make sure he is safe?

Catholic First Grade

2011-08-30T13:40:00.003-06:00

Little Ethan Dunham has entered his second week of parochial school filled with the inspirational sweet spirit of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. He is excited about the structure. He loves wearing uniforms. He relishes the opportunity to wear socks everyday. He looks forward to tucking in his shirt. And Mass! Wow! It is uplifting and engaging. He rushes home every day to assure his pagan parents that we are well on our way to damnation as he sets the table in anticipation of leading us in the blessing. He is overjoyed each morning to awaken – early -- with the knowledge that he has a full day of learning ahead of him. And the fact that he doesn’t know any of the other children in the class (all of whom but one went to Sacred Heart last year for Kindergarten so have their established groups) is not a downer for him at all as he looks forward to the challenge of making new friends at the same time he is adjusting to a different school, a new routine, learning Catholic lessons, and enjoying school lunches for the first time…even as we drive past his old school and friends on the way to the new adventure of Sacred Heart.

Now, the fact that he on occasion has said things such as the following should not give you the wrong impression about his fervor for this new life:

“This is the WORST day of my life.”
“Why do people even wear socks! They are so itchy and I can’t run fast anymore.”
“School is a complete waste of my time.”
“We are NOT going to church on Sunday’s because it will mess up my weekend.”

Included in this post is a picture taken of the future Monsignor Dunham taken just this morning as we tore him away from “Looney Toons” so I could take him to school. This picture is a test however. If you believe the object he is gripping in his sweet little hands (almost poised for prayer) is a Bible, then the first paragraph should resonate with you. If, on the other hand, you believe the object is the more secular Nintendo DS that he played on the way to school in a last ditch effort to have fun and avoid the reality that he has at least 12 more years of school ahead of him, the latter part of this e-mail may be more appropriate.

You be the judge. And executioner as the case may be from his perspective.

Mortality

2011-04-13T16:19:00.006-06:00

We all go through life interacting with people. We have family, we have acquaintances, we have professional relationships, and we have friends. I've been blessed in my life to have a lot of friends and even more acquaintances. I suspect that many of the people I consider to be acquaintances consider me to be a friend.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful or snobbish, but the term "friend" is pretty sacred to me. I've had things happen to me throughout my life that lead me to value a "friend" at an exclusive level. Richard Bach in his book "Illusions" noted that ""Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years." I can count my true friends on my two hands yet I bet I have a thousand acquaintances.

My wife and I have a standing bet that I owe her $15.00 every time I know someone when we are out of town. I should clarify: "Out of State." She says I know everyone. And sometimes I feel as if I do. But not many people know me. This core group of friends know me, and despite the years and the miles -- and sometimes great spans between communication -- that bond of true friendship sustains me.

It is also something I take for granted, so today, when I learned that a dear friend whom I met in college and had the privilege to work with professionally on many occasions was disclosed to have a degenerative brain disease. As his awesome wife wrote of her husband who was diagnosed with "FrontoTemporal Dementia (FTD)" in December, FTD is “a brain disorder that is characterized by behavior, language and/or motor symptoms and an inevitable, deterioration in a person’s ability to function.” While, there is some hope that “perhaps the progression of the disease can be delayed,” it is “incurable.” What do you say? She went on to write "How can this happen to our Matt? He is so young – he just turned 50 – and so smart, and so athletic and so fit! It is even harder for Matt to accept and understand what is happening to him."

I'm having trouble accepting it. I have so many awesome memories of this amazing man including parties, his wedding, his daughters' births, Trivial Pursuit marathons, BSU games in the snow, professional meetings where he was like a laser beam of insight and talent and intellect, discussion books and politics and issues, the two of us sitting in a dive bar in Georgetown where a bum slammed a shot of whiskey and yelled "God Bless Frank Church!" He has a great laugh, movie star looks, an amazing family, an intellect that is frightening, and a future that should be limitless. Too many to think about. Too much emotion. Too much to lose.

If I am hurting today, I cannot fathom his wife and three teenage daughters. I have been blessed to have him as a friend, and I ache that he is in Washington DC while I am here. What to do? What to say? Richard Bach also wrote ""Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?" I wish I was. I never dreamed that it would be more than miles that would ultimately separate me from a friend. Dammit.

Can you go home again?

2011-01-31T13:46:00.002-07:00

My family moved to Twin Falls, Idaho in August, 1964, and we moved into a house on Falls Avenue East. We were one of six brick houses, and, in those days, we were pretty isolated...surrounded by farmers, fields, and nothing between our back yard and the Snake River Canyon.

We left that house in the Winter of 1969 when my parents divorced, so I lived there from three years old until I was eight years old. I have some great memories of the place but also some unpleasant ones as the deterioriation of my parents' marriage is inextricably entwined with that home.

The other day, about 41 years after I last set foot in the place, my mother arranged for me to visit the house. I did so out of curiosity, and it was surreal.

Of course, it was MUCH smaller than I remembered. Even now looking at old faded photos taken in the house, it seems bigger than it did when I walked in last weekend. The other thing that struck me is how much had NOT changed.

When I buy a house, I have always wanted to change it. The owners of our old house seem to enjoy the early 1960's decor because, with the exception of some new kitchen counter laminate, NOTHING has changed at all other than a couple of wall colors.

The major change, other than the view out the back windows which no longer overlook an expanse of fields and sage brush to the canyon but rather huge houses and fences, is that I felt suddenly sad yet happy at the same time.

Certainly, there are great memories:

My brother Dan running from the front door when we arrived that hot August day in 1964. He scooped me up in his arms and ran into the back yard where we picked a carrot out of the garden.

Playing in the sand box made from a tractor tire.

Watching my brothers' band practice on the patio.

But, the other memories of the final Christmas when my dad drove away make that house a place of pain for me.

When I drove back to 2109 11th Avenue East where I moved on February 28, 1970, when my mom married my step-father Karl, I walked in, hugged Karl, and said, "Karl. That place means nothing to me. THIS will always be my childhood home." Proof that home is where a kid feels secure.

Thanks Karl.....

6 years ago today....

2011-01-27T08:57:00.003-07:00

At 7:55 a.m., on January 27, 2005, our son Ethan Stanford Dunham was born. He was born yelling, crying, and peeing!

We didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl, but his mother not-so-secretly just assumed "critter" (as we called the unborn hiccuper) would be a girl. After all, Heather is "#5" in a group of 7 sisters.

When Ethan first emerged, the doctor said, "It's a boy!" Heather retorted in a rather plaintive voice, "A boy? Are you sure? It was supposed to be a girl."

I was more worried about 10 fingers and 10 toes to worry about that other appendage!

Ethan would have weighed 9 pounds had he not decided to pee upon his birth. When we woke him this morning by signing "Happy Birthday, he jumped up yelling "Red Alert! Red Alert!" which is his usual urgent announcement that he has to go to the bathroom. There was no such warning 6 years ago this morning.

After he was born, I cut the cord, and marvelled at that little tiny being. He was whisked away to NICU for a bit, and I followed behind beginning my first "helicopter parent" action. Once he was secured, I was told I could leave to be with Heather in recovery.

"Recovery" was relative because it took longer than normal for the doctor and his staff to handle Heather's C-Section.

As a result, I sat outside her operating/delivery room by myself for almost an hour. Sitting quietly on a little bench in a dark and cold hallway, I thought about Heather and our new son upstairs taking his first breaths.

What would he be like? Where were his eye lashes? Would he have blue eyes? Why is his hair black? What the hell am I going to do now? Who should I call now because no one knew we were having him today? I've only changed one diaper in my life, and now look where I am!

Millions of thoughts rushed through my mind it seemed.

But I was overwhelmed with love for my son and for Heather.

I felt the same this morning six years later.

Time Away....

2011-01-25T08:30:00.006-07:00

I've spent too much time away from my blog, and I feared that would happen with the advent of Facebook. Our son turns 6 this week, and we've been busy with him during this first year of school. Kindergarten has been OK, but he misses preschool! "I got to do a lot more fun stuff there. Now they just make us work." Since my last posting in September, here are some random "Ethanisims" from recent Facebook postings as well as references to the burglary at our house in early December:

January 23, 2011: Our son Ethan's 6th Birthday Party is today. He just told me that he's on his way to 7.

January 17, 2011: A particularly sappy Celine Dion song blasted from the car radio yesterday when I turned on the ignition causing our soon to be 6 year old son to yell "Oh COME on Dad. Turn that off and put on some real music!" I am so proud.

December 31, 2010: Ethan wanted a Mohawk for New Years Eve. Stylin'

December 25, 2010: ‎2:48 on Christmas Day. Our son is exhausted and napping after saying "Daddy! This is the BESTEST Christmas ever!" He's had so many....

December 22, 2010: The losers who broke into our house are in custody and we joined other victims at what the police call a victims garage sale where we retrieved much of what they stole from us though some is lost forever....my sense of disgust is intact and we hope they enjoy the holidays behind bars...for years to come.

December 22, 2010: The Mall to see Santa followed by a trip to "Planet Kid" certainly equals two of Dantes' nine levels of Hell.

December 21, 2010: ‎1st in line for Santa. 2 page list. "Santa doesn't need money because his elves make everything."

December 16, 2010: Happy 10th wedding anniversary today to my incredible wife Heather! I'm a very lucky guy.

December 15, 2010: The Boise Police have arrested the 2 women who burglarized our house along with about 9 others. We will recover some of our stolen goods but some things aren't recoverable -- nor replaceable. Even more creepy now that we've seen the faces of the freaks who rummaged through our stuff.

December 8, 2010: So...our house in a great neighborhood was robbed today: 2 laptops, jewelry, camera, flat screen TV & and a 5 year old's sense of security. Somethings can be replaced.

December 1, 2010: Boise Schools Closed for Snowday on December 2, 2010. Ethan asks "Why doesn't Daddy get a snowday so we can play in the snow?" Great question.

November 11, 2010: Our son woke up early today because he dreamt that "Devasators are taking over the world." If he thinks Kindergarten is tough, wait till first grade....

November 1, 2010: On Saturday, October 30, 2010, Ethan (the red-masked Ninja) and some friends enjoyed trick or treating with Governor and Mrs. Otter at the state capitol. Fun time!

October 23, 2010: My oldest brother turns 60 today. Wow...he's old.

October 17, 2010: Before promising a 5 year old a trip to a Halloween corn maze, make sure they are open on Sunday.

October 8, 2010: Grandma climbed into Ethan's treehouse despite his sign saying "No Grown Ups Allowed." A 78 year kid....

October 7, 2010: Our 5 year old declined to show his 78 year old grandmother how to play Wii by saying "No, it wouldn't be any fun cuz I'll beat you every time."

September 25, 2010: Headed to find a bar near the White House to watch the BSU game. The Obamas didn't invite me to their tailgate.

September 7, 2010: Ethan responded to my discussion about chores such as taking out garbage & emptying the dishwasher with "My allowance will be $10 a day."

September 4, 2010: Labor Day weekend. Absolutely no plans. Perfect.

Learning it all in kindergarten

2010-09-10T08:24:00.004-06:00

Ethan will complete his 2nd week of Kindergarten this week, and I realized that he is now at an age that I also remember. I went to Kindergarten at Mrs. Wilkes which was a classroom in the back of her dentist husband's office in Twin Falls.

I was in the "morning" class like Ethan is, and I met kids in Kindergarten who I knew all through school and even college.

I doubt Ethan will have such lifelong acquaintances because today's world is so transitory. Age-old traditions of school boundaries seem blurred in the era of "school of choice, charter schools, magnet schools, on-line schools, etc."

But I digress. The biggest lesson I've learned -- this is my blog after all -- is that we evidently do need "stinkin' rules." I have read the Monroe Elementary School Handbook cover to cover several times. I know that at 10:15 every day, my son has recess. I know that he has PE one day, music one day, and art another day. What I didn't know -- because it's not covered in any written material nor is it posted anywhere on the school grounds or the parking lot -- is that there are strict rules about walking across the parking lot, riding one's bike on school grounds, etc.

The school utilizes a volunteer parent to essentially be the parking lot monitor ("Parking Nazi" is on the tip of my fingers as I type). The parent assigned is actually a neighbor and friend. However, on several occasions, she has taken us to task for what are evidently violations of some sort. "Some sort" because the rules aren't written or posted anywhere that I can find.

"How many times do I have to tell you NOT to walk across the parking lot?" Well, perhaps explaining it initially would be a start because the "many times" admonishment is not accurate. Oh, and, when you park on the street, get out of your vehicle, check for cars, walk through the really small parking lot between you and the small strip of grass where you have to wait for your kid, and the parking lot is virtually empty with no cars coming or going, what is the problem?

"You can't ride your bike in the parking lot!" So, a 5 year old, excited to ride his bike to school for the first time like a big boy with his new bike lock -- with his mother walking quickly behind -- rides down the public sidewalk, turns into the parking lot though completely hugging the outermost edge, and gets yelled at? Come on! Really? How about a quiet conversation first?

I'm all for safety. I'm fine with rules. I appreciate the responsibility of herding grade-schoolers. But there is also common sense and courtesy.

There was a cliche' ridden booked called "All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" that was quite popular years ago. I suspect it was in every Christmas stocking that winter and every yard sale table that summer. But, in the spirit of that book, what I've learned thus far about Ethan's Kindergarten experience is that there are unwritten rules, subjective interpretations, inconsistent enforcement, simmering resentments, power trips, and confusion. So, perhaps it is like life after all!

Changes....

2010-08-25T09:43:00.005-06:00

Ethan started Kindergarten today, and he has been excited for weeks.

On Friday, August 13, 2010, we picked Ethan up from the BSU Children’s Center for the last time. We cleaned out his “cubbie,” and he made sure we took his laminated name card tied to a basket with now frayed and faded yarn. He wanted to go out into the play ground where he frolicked for almost three years. He looked around and took a final spin on a beat up old tricycle (“Motorcycle Daddy!”) that he rode with speed and abandon. He wanted me to take a picture of him on it, and I did.

We walked past the reception area where he thanked Hob, the Center Director, and then we left through the “Magic Door” which is nothing more than a door for the disabled with a button to open it. Three years ago, that door was magic to a two year old. Now, it’s just a pleasant memory for him. We took a photo on the front step remembering how anxious all of us were when we first took him there in September of 2007 after a misstep at another preschool where the teacher was completely inappropriate. What a great and nurturing time we’ve all had at BSU.

We also took Ethan to Monroe Elementary earlier that week to see his new Kindergarten classroom. He walked all around the class, checked out the bathroom, the gym, and the play ground. He was excited to learn there will be 23 kids in his class because he is longing to find new friends in our area. He looks at Kindergarten as a new adventure filled with opportunity. I look at it as one more step toward me crying in the street as he drives off to college.

On August 24th, we attended an open house in his new class and had the opportunity to meet his new teacher, Miss Tori Doell. When his teacher and I looked at each other, we both laughed because we attended BSU together MANY years ago. "Miss Doell" was my college biology partner, and, as new Kindergartners swarmed around her, I whispered to her, "I hope you're not going to try teaching science because you weren't very good at it!" We both laughed.

The laughter and knowing his teacher takes away some of the normal apprehension I had as we dropped him off this morning, August 25th, for his first day. He is eager to make new friends, and he started introducing himself to other kids. He turned to go into his classroom, but ran back and kissed me on the check excitedly saying "Bye Daddy!" He quickly hugged his mom, and he was gone.

Miss Doell noted the tears in my eyes and said, "I'll take good care of him for you." She said that about our Biology starfish 25 years ago too!

PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN....

2010-07-23T09:42:00.002-06:00

A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE ABOUT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA…..

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: On April 3, 2009, United States’ President Barack Obama gave a speech in Strasbourg, France to German and French students where he offered an apology for the Bush era, declaring that America had “shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive” towards its allies.

SECRETARY OF STATE DEAN RUSK: President John F. Kennedy’s Secretary of State Dean Rusk was in France in the early 60's when French President Charles de Gaulle decided to pull out of NATO. de Gaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.Rusk responded, "Does that include those who are buried here?” de Gaulle did not respond.

SECRETARY OF STATE COLIN POWELL: When in England, at a fairly large conference, President George W. Bush’s Secretary of State Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if the United States’ plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building by George Bush. Powell answered, “Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.”

BOEING ENGINEER: There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly, “Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people. They are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities. They have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day. They can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships. How many does France have?”

UNITED STATES ADMIRAL: A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked, “Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?” Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, “Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.”

D-DAY VETERAN: A few years ago, Robert Whiting, an elderly American of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on."You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."

The American said, 'The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France !"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, ''Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to."

Tree Houses and Oceans

2010-07-22T09:48:00.006-06:00

Recently, I was getting Ethan ready to head to pre-school, and he said, "Daddy, why don't YOU go to school, and I will go to work! How 'bout that Daddy?" There are some days I would prefer to go back to my days in school when life seemed somehow more simple and secure.

Ethan is fast approaching August 25th when he enters Kindergarten leaving behind the BSU Childrens' Center where he has developed and been nurtured for almost three years now. Somehow Kindergarten seems to be the kick-off to a hectic life of deadlines and rushing around...the merry-go-round of life that is unrelenting. I'm enjoying immersing myself in his childhood because I know how fleeting the time will be.

"Fleeting" because my 85 year old stepdad, Karl -- the greatest man I have ever been blessed to know -- is faltering. I'm 36 years younger than he is. When I'm 85, Ethan will be 42 years old. Will he look back on his years with me as fondly as I do of my years with Karl? I hope so. It won't be from lack of me trying. I spend as much time with him as possible, and 2010 will go down in our family history as one busy year! The memories we are making!

In March, we spent over a week in Florida completely immersed in the Disney experience down to the hotel, meal plan, transportation, etc. It was awesome. Ethan got to be Jedi, a pirate, and had a great time.

In July, we spent time in Oregon...exploring Portland's zoo and the Oregon Museum of Science and Technology. This was followed by a few days on the Oregon Coast where Ethan ran into the ocean for the first time with complete abandon and delight...a trait he exhibits in most of his life.

Ethan and Daddy also built a tree house in the backyard this year. As we progressed, his plans for the structure matched his vivid imagination, and we laughed and laughed. One evening when his mom escaped for some well-deserved "Mommy time," Ethan helped carry boards, picked up scraps, screwed in decking screws, etc. He asked at least 5 times that "This is actually kinda fun isn't it Daddy? You and me?"

It was. It always will be.

Next we're off to McCall for a weekend and then head to Coeur d'Alene where Mommy and Daddy participate in the Idaho Governor's Cup while Ethan impatiently waits for a visit to Silverwood.

Making memories. That's what it's all about. I have such great memories of Karl, and I hope Ethan's memories of me are just as special.

"Old Age is Catching Up to Me"

2010-05-24T11:29:00.003-06:00

"Old age is catching up to me" is the most my beloved step-dad has said to me in the past couple of weeks. He whispered it to me with a vacant stare on Friday, May 14th in a doctor's office in Twin Falls where we were hoping for positive news after what appears to have been a stroke of some sort.

Karl has always been such an incredible man...strong of spirit, body, and mind. To see this incredible man struck by hearing loss and macular degeneration is bad enough, but to witness the destruction of a stroke (as well as what appears to have been a heart attack) is heart breaking beyond words. There is nothing more to say.

"Relative Health?"

2010-04-20T15:54:00.010-06:00

Have you ever noticed that when you go to your doctor, you routinely have to “update your paperwork” and answer questions about your “relative health?”

I’ve thought a lot about that lately because there seems to be a cloud above the Dunham household meaning someone is always sick. As Gilda Radner’s Roseanne Roseannadanna used to say, “It’s always something.”

Today, I had to fill out sheets of paperwork at a physical therapist’s office. I remembered a friend who called them “physical terrorists,” and today I wondered if it had to do with the paperwork. I was referred to the therapist by my regular doctor who was treating me for an ear ache (more on that later).

During the course of the regular doctor’s visit for my ear, in response to a question about “is anything else bothering you,” I remembered my right heel had been hurting a lot. So…off to see another doctor.

I pride myself on being an informed consumer of health care. I also pride myself on being relatively healthy. I don’t take many daily pills with the exception of Prilosec (more on that later) and fiber (more on that later). I do take a multi-vitamin and a baby aspirin because I read once they help. Because I turned 49 a few weeks ago, I feel lucky about my “relative health.”

“Relative Health?” That term again.

Today, as I filled out the paperwork, I had to respond again to the “How is your relative health” question. As I filled out the paper work and then responded to the doctor’s inquiries, I find myself thinking “Oh. Yeah. There is that. And there is this.” So, relatively speaking, though I think I’m in pretty good health for a 49 year old, I can’t help but consider that I seem to have had a lot of unusual health stuff. As Frank Sinatra sang in an old hit from the 40’s, “Everything happens to me.” Here are those ironic, iconic lyrics:

I make a date for golf -You can bet your life it rains.
I try to give a party -And the guy upstairs complains.
I guess I'll go thru life;Just catchin' colds and missin' trains,
Ev'rything happens to me.I never miss a thing,
I've had measles and the mumps.
And ev'ry time I play my ace -My partner always trumps.
I guess I'm just a fool;Who never looks before he jumps,
Ev'rything happens to me.

So, what happens to me? Let’s see:

Pneumonia: Some of my earliest memories include having pneumonia. I remember a trip to the hospital as an infant. I suspect I’ve had pneumonia at least 10 times in my life. The only thing more common than pneumonia for me is bronchitis. I could attract seals at Sea World I cough so much.

Whooping Cough: In December, 2008, I was coughing a lot, and I just couldn't seem to shake what I assumed was another bout of bronchitis. During a car ride in Washington DC where I was attending a meeting, my cell phone rang, and my doctor asked me if it was a "good time to talk." Recognizing my doctor NEVER has called me, I said, "Sure" even though I was in a carfull of strangers whom I had just met. He asked me a series of questions that required a verbal response. As my phone conversation continued, I noticed the conversation in the car had stopped...mainly at about the time I said "Whooping Cough? No way? I thought that was eradicated like small pox." He assured me that the signs were there but the final test to confirm would need to be reported to the CCDC and result in me being quarantined. We decided to avoid that final step so I could avoid official quarantine, but I chuckled at the idea of a quarantine considering I was crammed uncomfortably into a Ford Explorer in the nation's capitol. He reassured me that I was not contagious -- any longer -- but should avoid crowded public places. I replied "Such as Reagan International Airport and a long flight home in a metal tube?" He said, "Well, yes." I left for the airport soon after feeling like a TSA flight risk.

Earaches: I had chronic ear infections throughout my early life. Some of my earliest memories of are praying my ear drums would rupture so the pain would go away. I will always remember my mom holding me, rocking me in the dark, trying to soothe away my tears and the ear aches with hot packs and softly singing to me. In Third Grade, I was diagnosed with a hearing loss attributed to the severe earaches I suffered. I don’t know if the diagnosis was correct. The doctor and his nurse scared the hell out of me as I was trapped in foul-smelling testing booth where I had to press a silent buzzer when I heard tones. I remember pressing at random because I was scared and wanted out of there. The ear aches subsided through the years, and I haven’t had an infection until recently (Ah…more on that later).

Tonsils: When I was 4, I had my tonsils out because it was thought that would help alleviate my earaches. Maybe it did. I don’t remember ear aches too often after that. It was my first over-night visit in a hospital, and I remember I lived on ice cream for days afterward.

Knees: Thinking I was the next Olympic skier, I found no reason to be cautious – nor courteous – on the slopes when I was a kid. As a result, on January 13, 1973, I was in an accident at Magic Ski Hill near Twin Falls where I tore ligaments in my left knee. I compounded that injury by years in my teens and early 20’s when I was a carpet installer extraordinaire and rebuffed protective knee pads. When you’re young, you are bullet proof after all. In 1988, I remember walking up some stairs and hearing an odd creak. I assumed it was the stair treads. I realized later it was my knees. They still ache almost every day.

Back: I thought nothing of lifting carpet rolls by myself during my heralded carpet career. Having been diagnosed at one point with disc related issues in my back due to carpet, I continue to have back pain.

Sinuses: From 1984 until now, I have been on more airplanes than I can count for business and pleasure. For years, I suffered from chronic sinus infections, and routinely popped Sudafeds hours before flights to assure I wouldn’t suffer acute sinus pressure. Once landing at Reagan International Airport in DC, the pressure in my sinuses was so bad, I thought I would die. When they finally popped as we landed, the shrill whistle was so audible that a seat mate asked if I was OK. So, in July, 1994, I had an out-patient operation on my sinuses to remove a “forest of polyps.” In other words, they scraped my sinuses. They even video-taped the procedure and some of my friends watched the tape at a party.

Teeth: I have the fortune of having great teeth. Every visit to the dentist finishes with “keep doing what you’re doing.” I have the misfortune, however, of having what is known as “Dental Tori” which is defined by Wikipedia as “bony prominences over hard palate in the mid palatine region or in lower jaw it can be present at premolar region upon gums.” In other words, I have too much bone in my mouth.

As a kid, I remember dreading dental X-Rays because of the intense pain. My childhood dentist would basically just snap my jaw shut, and the X-Ray appliance would cut into my gums and bone. It wasn’t until I was older and found my own dentist in Boise that my condition was explained. Now they are more careful with X-Rays. That same childhood dentist also spent considerable time removing teeth from my head when he should have put me in braces. The summer between 4th and 5th grade is filled with memories of Novocain, needles, blood, and dry sockets as they removed 4 baby teeth and 4 permanent teeth to make room for what I remember being characterized as “excess teeth.” Who knew that year later I would pay for that dentist’s decision with my first major surgery – sinuses aside!

TMJ: In the late 80’s, a childhood friend of mine opened his orthodontic practice, and in about 1993, I decided I had this one little crooked tooth that needed to be straightened. I saw him, and the discussion turned to my jaws. I had always joked about not having a chin but having a double chin at the same time. Turns out that all of those teeth extracted between 4th and 5th grade served a purpose: They would have aligned my jaw correctly – had they still be in my head along with all of that excess bone. In their absence, I suffered chronic jaw pain (I thought it was normal), and my jaw was receding due to the improper bite. So, in November of 1994, I had major reconstructive surgery on my face to realign my jaw. I have metal plates in my jaw and will always wear a wire bracket behind my upper and lower front teeth. I don't set of metal detectors, and my son likes to try to feel the bumps of the screws through my skin.

Esophagitis: In about 1998, I had the misfortune of getting something stuck in my throat and vomiting at a work-related banquet in Whitefish, Montana. The misfortune wasn’t just the social blunder but rather the subsequent diagnosis of “Esophagitis” which is defined as a “general term for any inflammation, irritation, or swelling of the esophagus, the tube that leads from the back of the mouth to the stomach. Symptoms may include:
· Difficulty swallowing
· Painful swallowing
· Heartburn (acid reflux)”

Though I never felt heart burn, evidently, stomach acid was corroding my esophagus. I had a procedure in 1998 and again last year to open up my esophagus, and I get to take Prilosec to help control the condition – and to avoid further social faux pas.

Diverticulitis: I had never heard that term until about 2000 when my doctor told me that my chronic (I use that term a lot) lower left quadrant pains were the result of diverticulosis and diverticulitis. What are those? Well, Wikipedia says: “Diverticulosis refers to a condition in which the inner, lining layer of the large intestine (colon) bulges out (herniates) through the outer, muscular layer. These outpouchings are called diverticula. Diverticulitis refers to the development of inflammation and infection in one or more diverticula.”

My doctor assured me that, while unusual at my age, it was something that might get worse with age…perhaps in my 60’s. Unfortunately, by 2005 – when I was 44 -- the condition had deteriorated to the point of needing a “sigmoid colectomy” on October 5, 2005 where 10 inches of my colon were removed. So, I now answer to the name “Semi-Colon.” And I take fiber pills daily.

Evidently, it runs in families. My father died at 63 when I was 32 so, 12 years later when I needed surgery, I was surprised to find out from a family friend who knew my dad that he had it as well. Nice.

Damn Bugs: I’ve never experienced hay fever so allergies are foreign to me. However, in the summer between 4th and 5th grade (and, evidently in between having teeth ripped from my head), I was chasing a neighbor named Julie Wills in a field near our elementary school. I got stung on the right cheek by a bee, and my right eye swelled shut and I got the hives. Fast forward over 30 years, and I almost keeled over in Minnesota after being stung by what turns out to have been some sort of wasp. I’m literally deathly allergic to wasps, hornets, and yellow jackets. So, I am undergoing 5 years – yes years – of shot therapy to simply desensitize me to those damnable bugs. And I get to carry an Epi Pin with me everywhere I go.

Gout: About four years ago, my big toe on my right foot started to throb, and I thought I had perhaps broken it. I’d broken a toe before actually: my little toe on the right foot…the one the doctor wanted to amputate at my birth because it was bent over my foot. My mother refused, and I had to wear some sort of therapeutic device and suffer the embarrassment of having my mother disclose the situation to every frigging shoe salesman until, in 9th grade, I said “Enough!” But, I digress.

So, the doctor looks at my big toe and asks if I “eat a lot of red meat and drink a lot of red wine.”

Ah. “No!” Hate wine. Eat red meat in moderation.

Nevertheless, turns out I suffered from the “rich man’s condition known as gout.”

Gout? I thought that was some medieval thing like the Black Plague that had been eradicated with the dawn of the Renaissance. Nope. I had gout. Turns out my oldest brother gets it as well. So, a bottle of foreign looking green pills later, gout is gone. No reoccurrence in years. I still don’t like wine.

Sleep Apnea: Yep. I snore. Everyone knows it. Everyone who has had the misfortune to be around me when I sleep knows it. As a result, I won’t sleep on airplanes. I hate camping out with friends. I know my dad snored a lot. Anyway, for a lot of reasons, I underwent a sleep study. Yep. Sleep apnea. I never go into a deep sleep resulting in not only snoring but exhaustion. And I thought it was just being old! So, now, not only do I get to sleep with my wonderful patient wife, but I get to sleep with a little machine on my night stand that makes me look like Darth Vader to my wife and son. It does wonders for spontaneity and romance by the way….

So, we return to this month and the beginning of this long story about my “relative health.” My wife – who never gets sick – caught some bug resulting in a sore throat. My son – recently diagnosed with asthma (and I’m hoping is not destined to follow me down any chronic roads) – has been sick also. Of course, I caught it. Or caught something. So, at the urging of my wife, off to the doctor I go. I have my first official ear infection in years. 10 days of antibiotics later, no relief. So, I head back to the doctor. She looks in my right ear and confirms some fluid buildup.

After looking in my left ear, she asks, “Are you a swimmer?”

I reply, “No.”

She then asks, “Do you work in an onion packing shed?”

Hmmm…let me think on that one. “No.”

“Hmm,” she continues, “normally we see this related to those. You have a fungus growing in your left inner ear canal.”

Great news. I’m growing my own salad bar.

When I arrive home with my expensive prescription ear drops, my normally sympathetic wife snorts with laughter. After putting in the drops, she reads me the prescription warnings and her ad-libbed “may cause a mushroom to grow out of your head.” She doubled up with laughter again.

I married a comedienne…..

Later this week, I have to see an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist to determine why the fungus will not go away. At least it’s not a crouton I suppose.

Tendonosis: During the doctor visit where she discovered a scallion growing in my head, the doctor concluded by asking if there is anything else bothering me. Well, the economy, Obamacare, the weather during my son’s T-Ball games, losing my hair, etc. came to mind, but I did remember my right heel had been hurting.

She referred me to a physical therapist. What the hell. What’s another doctor? So, I had an appointment today. Where I filled out more paperwork. Where I was asked to comment on my “relative health.” See, I’m headed back to the beginning.

She did all sorts of manipulations on my right foot, heel, and leg. She asked how long it had been going on, and, in reply to my answer of “about 5 months,” she asked what sort of event had caused it. “Event?” Like the fair or a concert? What the hell! I couldn’t remember one.

She kept prodding – my memory as opposed to my foot -- and, ultimately, I had an “ah hah moment.” Shoes. My cool new slip-on shoes purchased last December. She laughed and confirmed they were the likely culprit. Now, I bought those due to the convenience of being able to slip them on in order to avoid bending over in order to avoid aggravating my back and knees, but…turns out they are too flat and caused “tendonosis” in my right heel. So, now I have physical therapy to add to my list.

At this point, I am a 49 year old man in “relative good health.” There are no check boxes that fully explain what that means to me. I do not have high blood pressure. I’ve never had cancer. I take very few medications, and most are voluntary, over-the-counter things.

But, if there is ever a box for this, I’m checking it:

Balding, middle-aged victim of chronic sinusitis, esophagitis, tendonosis, diverticulitis, gout, bronchitis, pneumonia, flying insects, TMJ, Dental Tori, knee pain, back pain, and gallows humor.

Ethan the shopper

2010-03-03T10:47:00.003-07:00

Ethan and his mom spent a nice afternoon at the Boise mall shopping for clothes. At 5 years old, Ethan has not yet evolved to the point every boy reaches namely, there is NO way he'll be caught dead shopping for clothes in the mall with Mom someday.

Anyway, Ethan had a great time going from store to store scouting out bargains. He would spy a shirt or shorts he was interested in, stop abruptly, freeze, and announce "MOM! I really gotta try that one on."

When I talked to him on the phone during his journey, he excitedly told me that he "had picked out some really cool clothes." He was particularly happy with two new pairs of sun glasses and a series of dinosaur shirts....not that he needs more dinosaur shirts.

Bummer of a Birthmark, Hal

2010-02-25T11:37:00.010-07:00

The old "Far Side" cartoon was a favorite of mine, and the "Bummer of a Birthmark, Hal" one is particularly apt in our family at the moment because Ethan has been diagnosed with various allergies.

We live in the high desert of Idaho surrounded by sagebrush. Allergic to sagebrush? Check.

The Boise River flows through our city along with canals all of which are bordered by lush Cottonwood trees. Allergic to Cottonwood Trees? Check.

Every visit to Grandpa and Grandma's house in Twin Falls includes the obligatory photo op in the Birch tree in the front yard. Allergic to Birch trees? Check.

Russian Thistle is a common weed in our area. Allergic to Russian Thistle? Check.

Our buddy Tom recently got two kittens. Allergic to cats? Check.

After our upcoming trip to Disney World, we intended to get a Dachshund for Ethan. Allergic to dogs? Check.

Today, Ethan endured allergy tests illustrated by the photo of him during the test in this blog. It appears we are surrounded by things that cause allergic reactions thus triggering asthma.

Bummer.

"Real Bombs Daddy!"

2010-02-23T20:15:00.003-07:00

Ethan was patiently waiting to chat with his mom who was on the phone. "Patiently waiting" for Ethan means he was almost bouncing around the room because life is one big exciting adventure for him. He has a LOT to say. Somehow, he hit his head on the arm of the sofa. When Heather got off the phone, Ethan was whimpering a bit and rubbing his head. Heather asked, "Did you hurt your head?"

He replied, "No I hurt my brain."

She said something about wanting to give him medicine, and he got his incredulous look and noted, "I hurt my brain. You can't put medicine on that."

Later the same day, I called the house to chat with Heather and Ethan because I'm out of town. He answered and immediately launched into a detailed description of the Hot Wheels course he and Mom were building. Heather subsequently said, "We need you. This is SUCH a boy thing." In the meantime, Ethan described the curves and cars on the course. He also stressed that they were building bombs to place along side the tracks. He expressed disappointment about the fact the bombs were made of paper wads.

We concluded our conversation by him lamenting about the bombs. He said, "Daddy? When you get home you need to help me with the bombs. I really want real bombs Daddy. We need real bombs that explode! OK Daddy? Can you make a bomb for me Daddy? One that really explodes?"

I'm relieved he hasn't asked for a chemistry set yet....

Bombs...wish we had real bombs.

A Special Place In Hell....

2010-02-18T11:26:00.004-07:00

There are a few things in life that I find infuriating. I try to show patience; however, the following scenarios are the most consistent irritants in my life:

1. Women in check-out lines at grocery stores: Is it really unreasonable to expect these troglodytes to think about others in line behind them? How tough, really, is it to be prepared when the checker has completed scanning items? For example, I am fully prepared to swipe my debit card or pay cash well in advance of the checker completing their part of the process. I have my wallet ready, card or cash in hand, and I have already entered any requisite preferred shopper number. If forced, I will make the obligatory small talk about the weather, and I always cover my son's photo in my wallet when I have it open on the off chance the checker wishes to comment on his cuteness or -- God forbid -- start to discuss their own cute grandchild. I don't care. I want my stuff, and I want out of there. But not most women. Most women not only take their own sweet time placing items from their cart onto the check stand conveyor belt, but they wait to even begin opening their purse to retrieve their wallet until AFTER the clerk has finished scanning. There is the typical fumbling for the wallet and then the glacial decision about whether to write a check, pay cash, or use a card of some sort. Like a finger nail scraping on a chalkboard, a woman who uses cash invariably fumbles through the change pocket to get the exact change. If they write a check, they seem intent on balancing their checkbook right there in line. If they say, "Oh, sorry, I think I have a coupon for one of those thingies," you can hear the men in line scream behind them as they open a beer in their cart with the complete understanding they will be there a while as an inane blob of humanity tries in vain to complete a basic shopping chore.

2. Slow drivers in the fast lane: Speed limits are there for a reason. There is no reason for a slow driver to be in the fast lane. Ever. If they are intent of driving 45 in a 75 or 65 per mile zone, they should take a bus. A mini-van filled with kids, McDonalds, and portable DVD's coupled with their parents belief that everyone on the road must drive slow in a show of sympathy for their miserable lives is the worst. There outta be a law.

3. Lines in coffee/pastry shops. This morning, I stood in line twice at some coffee/pastry shop at the Bellagio hotel in Las Vegas in order to bring my wife a dark chocolate almond tort. I was in line because she didn't have time yesterday to stay in the same line due to concerns she would miss her plane. I have the same concern today, and my plane leaves in 4 hours. This morning, the line moved at a snail's pace. Clerks in such places are a template in the unmotivated, unkempt, and tattooed generation that thinks a career as a barrista or parking lot attendant is just fine, thank you. For those with lives, the idea of spending 15 to 20 minutes in line listening to horrible people order incomprehensible combinations of coffee, for God's sake (that term again), is akin to cutting off a limb without anesthesia. When you bring pastries -- or dark chocolate almond torts -- into the equation, the complexity of a simple transaction increases exponentially. I failed in my quest to be a good husband. After two attempts at the line which didn't seem to move at all, I left in a huff. How hard is it really to focus on timely customer service? How about an express line for people who actually know what the hell they want and are prepared to pay for it (see above about women in check-out lines because people in line at a coffee/pastry hell hole are equally criminal in their inability to effectively pay for their stuff -- and it is gender neutral stupidity in this case)? Sigh, when I get back to Boise this morning, I will hand my wife a five dollar bill, make my apologies, and remind her once again that I am too organized and reasonable to patronize places where the "experience and ambiance" seem quaint to idiots.

A few months ago, my step father accompanied me on a series of errands in Boise. On our tour, we went to Lowe's, Wal Mart, and Fred Meyer in Boise. At each stop, I efficiently and quickly used the self-check out stands. When we drove home, my step dad -- who owned a retail furniture store his entire career -- commented, "You know, you went to each store and never talked to anyone. It was all automated." My response? "Yes. And that's the way it should be. I have no desire to talk to anyone when I shop, and I have no desire to suffer through idiots in check out lines."

Aren't We Missing Something Here?

2010-02-10T10:23:00.003-07:00

"Attitude" is something that seems to come naturally to our son Ethan. He's a great little boy, and his sense of humor is often surprising though it sometimes has a hint of "attitude." For example:

One night when Dad was ill and slept in another room, Ethan joined his mom in bed. She piled up some pillows/blankets to block him from rolling off the bed because he flails all over when he sleeps. Despite her best efforts, he fell off the bed. In response to his mom's comments that she tried to block him falling, he said, "Well, it didn't work did it?"

Another example: Ethan was enjoying his "normal" Blimpie sandwich and Cheetos in the Jeep when his mom took a corner fast enough to cause his Cheetos to spill over onto the seat. When they stopped and she cleaned up the errant snacks, Ethan looked at her with consternation, and asked "Aren't we missing something something here?" Heather said "What?" He responded, "An apology?"

Five year old wisdom

2010-01-28T12:39:00.002-07:00

On the heels of his fifth birthday, Ethan continues to suggest that everyday is "Ethan Day" meaning he "is the boss of this house." We learned our lesson over Christmas when we said that day was "Ethan Day" and he could do whatever he wanted. We quickly realized that setting limits on mood and behavior was appropriate. So, on his birthday which we agreed was an "Ethan Day," we set limits. He reluctantly agreed but insisted that every holiday and all birthdays in our house from now on are "Ethan Days." Or, Ethan Daze as the case may be....

Ethan really wanted "Wii Resort" for his birthday, and that is what he receive from Mom and Dad. He woke up at 4:00 a.m. on his birthday and loudly announced it was his birthday. We convinced him it was the middle of the night so he went back to sleep until 7:00 a.m. when he awoke to his prized present. Later that night as he played a game, something happened, and he turned to look at me with a smirk on his face as he said, "Well now! THAT was unusual."

As he was playing an airplane game on the Wii, he told his mom that he gets sick on airplanes, boats, and balloons. "I get a lot of sicks."

We have also started taking him to the Boise Public Library on Thursday nights for a Pre-Kindergarten Prep Class. Last week, Miss Tammy read a story about "dust bunnies" which intrigued Ethan. When we got home, he asked questions about dust bunnies. Heather actually found on upstairs in an obscure corner and showed him. In a concerned and confused observation, Ethan said, "Mom. I don't see any feet on those dust bunnies."

Ethan is 5!

2010-01-26T09:12:00.002-07:00

Ethan turns 5 years old tomorrow. It hardly seems possible! He's a good kid too which is nice. His teachers compliment him and note that he has quite a wit for someone his age. He is a typical boy of the 21st Century...he loves his Nintendo DS, Wii, is an avid dinosaur expert (Velociraptors are his particular favorites these days), rides his bike with on the edge of disaster, laughs a lot, is a fan of both Scooby Doo and Phineas and Ferb, and thinks that Red Robin is the best place on earth to eat (well, "eat" is merely a means to an end to play his favorite video game). He is full of life and ideas often talking in a stream of consciousness that defies physiology because he doesn't need to take a breath it seems. He is also pretty courageous for someone his age, and nothing much scares him. He loves school, parties, and is always eager to make friends. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that he really is only 5 because he seems so adult at times. It's been a great 5 years, and we know the next 5 will pass just as quickly.

Busy Holiday Times!

2010-01-18T08:16:00.005-07:00

Since my last real post in late November, Christmas, New Years, the Fiesta Bowl, the beginnings of my "shot therapy," and a surprising hospital stay for Ethan have come and gone! Idaho's Legislature reconvened in the refurbished Capitol building, and I've started my 25th legislative roller coaster.

Christmas was different this year. My parent's decided to stay in Twin Falls rather than brave the roads (or another bus ride...they just can't quite get comfortable with that loss of independence). As a result, we had a quiet Christmas morning. Ethan had previously asked Santa for only two things: A Transformer Devastator as well as a Wii game. Santa obliged! Ethan was a bit concerned about how Santa would fit down our chimney. I also took Ethan to the Elk's Club's Christmas for Kids event where one of our exalted members (A Scotsman with a happy chuckle seemingly reinforced at the bar!) dressed as Santa and greeted the kids. Ethan's reaction? "Daddy. I don't think that's the real Santa. He must be one of his helpers."

After Christmas, I decided to go to the Fiesta Bowl to watch the Boise State Bronco's take on the Horned Frogs of TCU. I missed the bowl three years ago, and I had a great time along with thousands of other BSU faithful who made the trek to Phoenix after the new year. The only downside? Garmin GPS has no way of knowing when road construction closes roads and causes detours. As a result, I did spend one morning, in the dark, trying to get back to my hotel after dropping off a buddy at the airport. Oh well. Considering Garmin has been in the news lately for stranding at least three users on snowy mountain roads, being stranded in Phoenix could have been worse. Plus we won!

When my plane landed back in Boise on January 5, Ethan was sitting in his customary spot right outside the security doors in the Boise airport. He grinned, and ran into my arms, kissed my cheek, and immediately demanded we go play video games. The standard Ethan airport greeting. Later that night, he started to cough a bit. Heather and I had been discussing that he seems to have a chronic cough and that perhaps we should seek alternative opinions. Fate intervened. He spent that night coughing and then vomiting. The next morning, the pediatrician sent Ethan and his mom to St. Lukes Hospital where he spent two days (one night). It is now apparent he has asthma, and our next step is an allergist to see what triggers the attacks...although this was the first tangible one. Perhaps he's had mild attacks before? Who knows? We've been pretty lucky with him. No childhood ailments really, and countless friends have now indicated they "had it as a kid and out grew it."

By the end of that second day, Ethan was Ethan. He seemed fine. However, confined to a hospital bed in a cramped room, when I entered the room after work, he put on a brave face though his bottom lip quivered and his eyes watered as he said, "Daddy? I'm just unhappy. I want out of this place. I want to go home." I know there will be a time when he doesn't want to hang out at home. I know there will be a time when on a Saturday morning he doesn't pile onto my lap in a cloud of blankets content to watch cartoons with Daddy for a couple of hours. I know there will be a time when he is out of breath not from an unexpected bout of childhood asthma but from running out the door with his buddies. So, as Heather and I spent countless hours hovering over our little boy who celebrates his fifth birthday in a week, I also realized that these are really special times.

And, now that we know he's out of the woods (and the hospital), I couldn't help but consider that the hospital stay happened 6 days into a new insurance deductible. Ah...timing!

Will Facebook be the death of the blog?

2010-01-18T08:12:00.002-07:00

I haven't posted to my blog since late November...almost two months ago. I continue to think my blog is a good way to express myself regarding life; however, as I've thought about it, my foray into social media via Facebook seems to have become an easier way to communicate. Obviously, I do not have the opportunity to expand or comment in depth; however, I fear I'm getting lazy and using Facebook as an alternative to this blog. My new goal? At least once a week.

Black Friday, Target, and Idiots

2009-11-27T18:11:00.007-07:00

On Thanksgiving morning, the paper was thick with "Black Friday" ads enticing recession-weary people to stores in hopes of grabbing a bargain for Christmas. For the Dunhams, that involves not just Christmas but planning for a trip to Disney World in March.

We need a new portable DVD player. Ethan has now gone through three or four in his brief four-plus years of life, and, despite admonishing him not to touch the "guts" of the DVD, he routinely does so. The last one lasted only a few months. So, I carefully went through every ad and considered the aggravation factor of heading out for 5:00 a.m. sales on Black Friday, a tradition that I consider idiotic at best. Yet, as a parent, I have succumbed to the idiocy by considering trekking out among the rabid crowds.

Not quite. At 7:15 this morning, I awoke and thought "What the hell. I'll head to Target for the $47.00 RCA product." I got there, found a parking space amid the madness, and walked in to find lines and lines and lines of people snaking up and down aisle after aisle just to get in line for checkout. I saw an acquaintance in line who sighed and said he'd been in line over an hour just to check out.

With visions of my son in my head, I thought I would suck it up, find my one product and stand in line. How bad could it really be? I had retrieved a basket in the parking lot on the off chance that I would find additional treasures to purchase, so I tried to maneuver the cart through the lines of shoppers. People much less visionary than I eyed my cart with envy at the empty cart stand, and I silently chuckled at their lack of foresight. As I slowly advanced through the melee, I discovered that deep in the store, there were actually rent-a-cops directing traffic...telling shoppers "you can proceed to that check out line."

My immediate reaction was "TSA rejects CAN find jobs" because these people, while annoyingly pleasant, seemed to enjoy the power of directing traffic in a store. As I tried to progress, the lines grew deeper along with my resentment. In addition, people oblivious to others, walked slowly, swerved in front of me, and generally pissed me off. "For the love of God! Have you no consideration? Have you no peripheral vision? Have you no decency?" I wanted to scream them all, but with a couple well placed "accidental" bumps of the cart and a mumbled "Sorry, excuse me" I finally made it to the electronic aisle which is conveniently nestled near the deodorant selection at Target.

I assume the proximity of hygiene products and electronics is designed to help people like me who tend to get heated by the indifference and stupidity of shoppers. As I bumped my way through shoppers who thought nothing of parking their shopping carts in the middle of the aisle barely leaving room for the potato-sack ass barely contained in their stained sweatpants gifted in a long ago festive Christmas season, I finally found my goal: Portable DVD's.

The $47.00 item was gone.

And so was my good humor and patience.

I left my cart in the aisle because, frankly, I didn't care about inconveniencing any of the people on whom I had just wished quick and uncomfortable bowel movements. Rather, I left in a hurry only to be blocked by one itinerant woman who seemed intent on swerving side-to-side like a 1965 Buick with a leaky tire on a two lane road. It took me what seemed like five minutes to pass her, and I found my friend had advanced five feet. After my half hour trek through the madness, I was at home intent on paying whatever premium price was required just so I didn't have to deal with "Black Friday" idiots.

Later, I ventured out to Fred Meyer, found my purchases at less than Target, and emerged from the store happy, content, and relieved to have completed half my shopping in less than 10 minutes which is every man's dream and as it should be.

Black Friday is evidently the description of a man's mood Christmas shopping.

Stating the Obvious

2009-11-24T09:02:00.002-07:00

Is it wrong to ground a little boy for stating the obvious? Ethan is very excited about Christmas this year. Being a four year old (two months shy of five), he is getting into the decorating, the excitement, and, of course, the speculative toys as we read newspaper toy inserts over and over.

He will say, "Oh Daddy. I want that and that and that and that! Oh, and Daddy? I'm REAAALLYYY gonna get that for Christmas!"

His excitement has translated into decorating earlier than normal. As we pulled out boxes from under the stairs, he said seriously, "Daddy, we've never started this early before." He has so much experience....

As I sat on the living room floor last night unpacking Christmas decorating treasures, he stood over my shoulder exclaiming, "Daddy! I remember that one!"

However, one exclamation gave Daddy pause. Ethan, during a lull, rubbed the top of my head, and said, "Hey Daddy. I can see your skin."

In the spirit of the holidays, I will not ground him for stating the bald truth.....

Brothers

2009-11-12T16:24:00.007-07:00

I was in Washington DC for three days attending meetings for the College of Western Idaho along with Guy Hurlbutt, a fellow trustee. Guy is the quintessential Southern gentleman, and he visited family in South Carolina prior to our meeting.

Guy asked me during the session in an apologetic way if he could use my laptop to access flight arrangements. Almost as an aside, he told me he needed to head back to South Carolina after our meeting because his older brother had died. It was bittersweet that Guy had the opportunity to visit his 85 year old brother and was there when he passed. But, nevertheless, Guy lost his brother.

My oldest brother arrives tomorrow for the first visit with the family in about 18 months. Our mom and step-dad arrive tonight on the bus for the visit. My brother turned 59 a few weeks ago, and I'm 48. Our brothers are 57 and 54 respectively. I couldn't help but think of my brothers when Guy delivered his tough news in his typically gracious manner.

I simply cannot conceive of losing my brothers. Though months may go by without seeing each other, I suppose the knowledge of their presence is comforting. Certainly, we have had and have differences of opinion. We are all different people. The years have set us on different paths after so many years working unusually close together.

But we are still brothers after all.

I got my computer up and running for Guy and quietly left my hotel room out of respect for his loss and his privacy. As I shut the door I glanced at him sitting before the computer and wondered how I would react (note, I avoided the word "will") to the news of losing a brother.

I will hug my brothers especially tight this weekend.

Holidays and Laboratories

2009-11-04T13:06:00.003-07:00

The Dunhams had a very busy Halloween weekend. The adults attended a neighbor's annual Halloween party where Mark dressed as a vampire at the urging (i.e., insistence) of Ethan while Heather wore her grandmother's signature polyester fur trimmed orange 70's outfit.

The next day, Mark again donned his vampire attire (and, sigh, the full face make up and black hair spray) to join Ethan "Eddie Munster" Dunham for a packed day of parties and trick or treating. After spending time with his cousins at cousin Zoey's 1st birthday party where everyone -- including Disco Heather -- was required to be in full costume, we headed home to trick or treat with the neighbor kids. After a rush around the neighborhood it was home to answer the door which Ethan insisted on doing alone in his vampire regalia.

The next day as we put away the Halloween decorations, Ethan asked, "Daddy, today is Thanksgiving isn't it?"

I replied, "No. Thanksgiving is in a few weeks and then Christmas is a few weeks after that."

Incredulous, Ethan sternly corrected me with an added twist seemingly derived from watching too many Scooby Doo Halloween specials with mad scientists: "No Daddy! It was Halloween yesterday, today is Thanksgiving, tomorrow is Christmas, and we need to clean out the attic to build my laboratory."

Everyday is an experiment of some sort with Ethan.

Randomness about Ethan

2009-10-29T13:39:00.003-06:00

Randomness about Ethan! In an effort to somehow document the crazy things Ethan says, here's a list of recent funny things he has said:

1. He calls his mom a "silly bunion."

2. He calls me "silly underwear."

3. He has now decided to be a vampire for Halloween after starting out as a Transformer and moving to a pirate. "Vampires are COOL Daddy!"

4. In planning a family trip to Disney World in 2010, Ethan looked at me and said in his most earnest fashion, "Daddy. Do NOT forget a stroller. These little legs will get kinda tired walking too much."

5. Anything that is bad is a "rat." As in, "Daddy, he's a rat" or "That show is a rat" or "that food is a rat."

6. When he doesn't like something to eat, he will grasp his belly, moan, and act sick saying "My tummy hurts!" When we remind him that having a stomach ache means no ice cream, he replies "Well, I think that might make me feel a little better."

McDonalds and Harry Chapin

2009-10-28T14:38:00.010-06:00

I know a father who is a very busy construction executive. This hard-charging entrepreneur sets aside one night per week to spend with his son who is about 7 years old. It doesn't matter if a mogul or a politician calls. They spend that evening as father and son.

I've been meaning to do that with my son Ethan. It just seems too often that the days, weeks, and then years slip by. Before you know it, you' are a cliche straight from the old "Cats in the Cradle" weepy Harry Chapin song from the 70's.

Last night, I thought a lot about this as Ethan and I spent an evening together. While Heather played Florence Nightengale to the neighbors (dear friend who is widowed with a 6 year old and 2 year old rushed to hospital for an appendectomy on top of swine flu...count your blessings!), Ethan accompanied me to a parenting class. We then spent an hour at a McDonalds that was virtually deserted. He engaged in excited conversation, talked about school, Halloween, building projects we need to accomplish together, the weather, and his need for more McNuggets. He also spent an inordinate amount of time making goofy faces.

We went home, got into our "jammies," read books in Mom and Dad's bed, and he promptly fell asleep. When Heather returned home late from her good samaritan duties, Ethan was conked out in our room. In the middle of the night, he awoke to find his mommy, and he hugged her awake. He asked her in a rather loud whisper if she could hear me snore!

All in all, it was just a great night with my boy. One I will remember forever. It was so simple yet so special.

I need to make it a weekly appointment. I should never be too busy for this sort of meeting.

Invoking Grandpa

2009-10-28T08:15:00.008-06:00

My son is named Ethan Stanford Dunham. My father was Stanford Arlen Dunham, and Ethan's middle name is a tribute to my dad who died in 1993. For me, my dad was almost more of a buddy because my mom married my beloved step-father, Karl Brown, when I was 8 years old. Karl was my day-to-day father.

Nevertheless, as I grew up, I spent a lot of time with my dad who we often called "Stan the Man." He was a great guy, a character whose irreverance and wit endeared him to many. I still think about him everyday and wonder what he would be doing had he not been taken from us when he was only 63.

It is inevitable I suppose that families on both sides of a child's parentage look at a kid and claim dominance in terms of genes. Ethan does look a lot like my wife Heather though I claim his eyebrows! I appreciate that many on Heather's side suggest he "looks just like David, or just like...." Alternatively, I have friends who say he looks just like my brother Steve. I also see my mother's face sometimes, and I see my brother Dirk at times. At different times, he looks like many people on "my side."

But in the sunlight, when a sun ray hits his hair, I think of my dad Stan the Man. Ethan's hair has a subtle reddish tint that my dad's hair had. In addition, as Ethan matures -- racing toward the ripe old age of 5 in a couple of months -- he is developing an enviable wit with an almost evil chuckle that is simply my dad, Stan.

As Ethan and I wandered through a Halloween store a while back, I noticed a mask that seemed appropriate...a merging of Ethan Stanford Dunham with his grandpa Stan the Man Dunham.

Makes me miss Dad even more. He would have adored his name sake.

Grandma's cookies revisited

2009-10-19T20:32:00.005-06:00

I've already blogged about my mom's chocolate chip cookies, but we have now reached a crisis: We are out of them. Tonight, I told Ethan that we were out of Grandma's cookies but could eat Heather's. He said, "Disgusting!" Later, I sneaked him one of his mothers along with an ice cold milk. He ate part of it, and then said, "Daddy. Why don't you finish it. It just isn't very good."

On another Ethan note, over the weekend, he spent a couple days with his cousin who took him to a Vallivue High football game followed the next day with breakfast with the Vallivue Cross Country team. When I asked him if he was having fun (while we were in Vegas), over the phone in a plaintive little voice he replied, "Not very well. Last night I barfed like a chicken." He didn't "barf," but he is a bit under the weather.

He told me tonight that he just didn't feel well enough to help with the dishes. "My legs are just too tired Daddy."

Maybe one of Grandma's cookies would help....

The "Stockholm Syndrome" and the Nobel Peace Prize

2009-10-09T12:40:00.000-06:00

Wikipedia defines “Stockholm Syndrome” as a psychological response sometimes seen in abducted hostages in which the hostage shows signs of loyalty to the hostage-taker, regardless of the danger or risk in which they have been placed.” Coincidentally, Nobel Peace prizes are awarded in Stockholm, Sweden meaning President Barack Obama, less than one year on the job, will travel to Stockholm in December to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. Apparently, his second trip to Scandinavia will be more fruitful than his unsuccessful trek to Copenhagen to get the Olympics in Chicago.

There is a certain irony that a psychological condition based on a cult of personality where prisoners become enamored of their captors is named for the same city where an award will be given to a person whose credentials for a Nobel Peace Prize are thin at best but seem based primarily on the fact that he is NOT George W. Bush.

Of course, this is the same group that awarded Jimmy Carter a peace prize in 2002 in recognition of his significant international peace efforts which, in my recollection, amount to the following:

1. Overseeing the fall of Iran and the resulting Iranian Hostage Crisis which was settled only upon the day of Ronald Reagan’s inauguration;
2. Inserting himself unannounced, unasked, and uninformed into various international situations;
3. Overseeing the Camp David Peace Accords, which in retrospect, seems to have been little more than a photo op because there has never been a lasting peace in that region; and,
4. Being an apologist for corrupt regimes as an election observer.

I have never been one of those who wish ill-will on President Obama, and I actually respect his political skills while most often disagreeing with his policies, goals and actions. More often than not, I find Lou Dobbs, Rush Limbaugh and their ilk to be repugnant demagogues who do not reflect the true Republican ideology I respect.

But awarding the Nobel Peace Prize to someone because he is eloquent, glamorous, and not his predecessor trivializes the Nobel Prizes awarded to so many other recipients throughout the years, in the future, and in all of the categories.

Grandma's Cookies

2009-10-02T13:48:00.005-06:00

My mother makes amazing chocolate chip cookies. I'm probably biased having spent 48 years eating them; however, my college buddies also can attest to their quality. In fact, for years, my mom has baked chocolate chip cookies for them as well.

Ethan has inherited an affinity for "Grandma's Cookies." She bakes them for him, and we put them in the freezer. Ethan and I dole them out sparingly. When he is sick, he sometimes whines, rubs his belly, and says "I think one of Grandma's cookies may make me feel a little better."

Every once in a while, Heather decides to make chocolate chip cookies. Don't get me wrong, Heather's are great, but...well, they are just not my mom's. I know I run the risk of engaging in the old "Well, my mom's are better than my wife's." I don't want to do that, so I refrain from saying anything. But, the old adage "out of the mouths of babes" means Ethan isn't quite so restrained.

The other night, I was in Ethan's room when he said, "Daddy, do you think we should have one of Grandma's cookies?" I said, "Sure! That sounds great. I'll go get us one."

I went downstairs, poured him a glass of milk, and retrieved two cookies from the freezer. Heather asked what I was going, and I told her I was taking Ethan a cookie. She said, "I'll take it to him."

About 10 minutes later, she returned and said, "Ethan said the cookie tasted funny."

Surprised, I responded, "Really? I think they're OK. Mine tasted fine."

She grimaced, and said, "OK. I substituted one of MY cookies for your mom's. So MY cookie tastes funny."

I had to smile. Grandma's cookies are tough to beat.

Daddy's work

2009-09-29T11:34:00.003-06:00

The other night, Ethan sat on my lap and said, "Daddy? You know my friend Gus? From school?"

I replied, "Yes. I know Gus." Ethan continued, "Well, Daddy, do you know Gus' dad?" I said, "Yes. I know his dad. He teaches school at Boise State." Gus' dad is a Geology professor.

Ethan nodded earnestly, and said, "Well, Daddy, Gus went to work with his daddy one day. All day. I think we should do that some time! What do you think?"

I said, "Ethan, I would love that."

He suddenly crossed his arms which is a non-verbal cue that he is serious, looked me straight in the eye, and said, "Daddy. If you have meetings that day, I don't want to do it. I don't have the clothes."

2009-09-10T13:28:00.011-06:00

I've been away from the blog for quite some time because August and now September seemed to just fly by. In addition, the Dunhams seemed to have been visited by the proverbial Biblical plagues including hornets! We've had bronchitis, pneumonia, going to the fair, emergency room visits while on vacation after almost dying (seriously) from an insect bite, allergy studies, sleep studies, school starting again, tailgating with friends, vacationing in the mountains, and learning about Epi Pins!

In the beginning was August! I spent time in Idaho Falls, Twin Falls, and Jackpot for work. In addition, there were some "fun" trips including an August 13th jaunt to Minneapolis to visit a college buddy and his wife. Unfortunately, that afternoon as we looked at the river down the hill from their house, I was stung by something. Within minutes, I had allergy symptoms prompting my buddy Ted to give me Benadryl before nonchalantly driving toward an emergency room. Our friend Tom who flew in with me felt a couple more Benadryl, a couple beers, and a nap would have sufficed. How wrong he was. I ended up with anaphylactic shock. The ER doctor in Minnesota and my personal doctor back in Boise indicated those initial Benadryl saved my life!

Luckily, I was sufficiently recovered in about 5 hours to enjoy the rest of the trip which included a trip to their lake house and a Twins game. Of course, all the while I carried the fable Epi Pin just in case another Minnesota insect had it in for me.

Safely returning to Idaho, the Dunhams spent time at the Western Idaho Fair learning the painful lesson that Ethan's height of 44" now enables him to ride many more rides. That coupled with his inherent daredevil attitude cost us an unexpected $120 that day! But he had fun.

On the tails of the Minnesota mishap, I was also scheduled for a sleep study to determine if my daily exhaustion was more than simply being a 48 year old father of a 4 year old dare devil as well as a very intense career. I spent the night in a sleep clinic where I was wired up to resemble what Ethan called a "Decepticon from Transformers." Of course, those are the villains. Turns out I NEVER go into a deep sleep. Ever. That explains many things including acid reflux, exhaustion, etc. Not sure if it explains thinning hair though.....Now I get to experience a trial period of sleeping with an oxygen mask to see if it makes a difference. I also had allergy tests that determined I'm NOT allergic to bees but have a bad allergy to wasps and all sorts of hornets. I will now be starting a 5 year regimen of "desensitization shot therapy."

We also got to spend a great weekend in Donnelly with friends swimming in Lake Cascade and perhaps having a too few many beers. On the way home from the weekend, we all started to cough. Ethan was subsequently diagnosed with bronchitis, I was diagnosed with pneumonia, and Heather has simply powered through her own cough to take care of her boys.

Wow!

Boys will be boys

2009-07-29T09:39:00.002-06:00

Ethan continues to say things that cause laughter and amazement. In no particular order:

1. This morning he expressed frustration about having to go "#1" and then almost immediately "#2." He hurried back to the bathroom where he idled away sitting on the toilet frustrated "that is just won't come out." Heather laughed and offered him a magazine indicating that's what guys did. Ethan declined but did say "I'm gonna be here till tomorrow."

2. Ethan has picked up on some negative sayings at pre-school, but that is typical I suppose. When he gets frustrated he lashes out verbally indicating that we are not his parents. The other night when he was frustrated about going to bed, he said, "I'm not tired. I'm not hungry. I'm not going to bed. Ever." When I sternly put him to bed, he said, "You are NOT my dad. Dad." The irony was lost on him.

3. The other day, he was coloring in his Transformer's coloring book, and Heather complimented his improved coloring skills. He sighed, and said, "Yeah, I'm good at everything."

4. Ethan has recently become interested in exercize (mainly, I suspect because he expects to grow up and battle Decepticons from Transformers), and he routinely just drops down and does at least 10 push ups (real ones actually) followed by a couple sets of crunches. He then jumps up, pulls up his sleeve, and says "Wanna feel my guns?" (See the photo above!)

5. After working out, Ethan said recently, "I can't lift our house up, but I can lift up our TV."

6. His ideas on what he will be when he grows up vary with the day, but because he loves race cars, he often says "I'm gonna be a mechanic when I grow up."

7. Last weekend in McCall, he donned his Spiderman life jacket, and I swam with him out to a floating trampoline where he had a blast jumping and splashing. When we were swimming back, his teeth chattered, and he kept saying "Don't let go of me Daddy. You won't let go of me Daddy, will you?" Never buddy. Never.

8. Also last weekend, I was giving a speech outdoors, and in the middle of it, I felt a tug on my pants. Interrupted, I turned to find Ethan behind me at the podium. A bit irritated, I covered the microphone, leaned down, and said, "Ethan! I'm working. What do you need?" He looked up at me and said, "I just wanted to tell you that I love you Daddy." I returned to the speech and told the audience what he said. Doesn't get much better than that.

Reunions and ruminations

2009-07-27T15:06:00.000-06:00

I haven't blogged in a long time it seems because I've been so busy...busy with life, with work, and with a 30 year high school class reunion. My class reunion held in Twin Falls, Idaho the weekend of July 10 had a profound impact on me for some reason. It may be because I got reacquainted with classmates I hadn't seen in years coupled with the realization that I had known many of these 47-48 years olds since the time I was my son Ethan's age. I found myself wondering if the friends and memories he is making today will resonate through the decades.

Of course, I was raised in a relatively small community with a handful of kindergartens, five grade schools, two junior highs, and one high school. We didn't get cable television for years. In other words, the class of 1979 grew up in a relatively cloistered environment with few outside influences. That is a double-edged sword I suppose, but the faces at the 30 year reunion were the same faces posted in grade school photos as if in a time warp. Though we've drifted apart over the years, the foundation of our lives was in some respects each other.

My son is growing up in Boise, Idaho in a different time and certainly a different place. Relationships are as transitory as school boundaries. It doesn't seem likely that he will experience starting kindergarten with a group of kids who will go through a university together. There is something special about such long term shared histories though we have all drifted apart. Friends in childhood reconnect at reunions and vow "to get together this time...really" yet we never do. Perhaps having a shared foundation is enough, and we have used that foundation -- both the good and bad of it -- to move to different places of our own.

Girls! Girls! Girls! and Faux Hawks....

2009-06-25T12:41:00.003-06:00

Ethan, at 4, seems to be planning for his future. He has developed quite a crush on a girl at school meaning he now has at least three love interests. The other day, Ethan -- who actually hates to have his hair combed let alone washed -- asked his mother to style it in a "faux hawk" which is essentially a modified Mohawk with the hair combed toward the middle and gelled to a point. When she asked why, he replied that our 13 year old neighbor boy (who sports this hairstyle) said "it will help you get more girls." So, Heather did the style and Ethan left for school evidently scouting for prom dates.

Is it always so busy?

2009-06-23T08:49:00.003-06:00

My oldest brother lives in Reno and usually visits once a year during the summer. A couple of months ago, I sent him my summer schedule showing a hectic pace that seemed reasonable in e-mail but seems daunting as we live it. There is always so much going on, but we live a very busy lifestyle which can be fun but exhausting. Last week, I spent 3 days in Coeur d'Alene, one day in the office back in Boise, and then 4 days in Sun Valley attending the Governor's Cup. Heather and Ethan joined me in Sun Valley, and it was fun though the weather turned cold and rainy on the one day I had free time to bike ride with Ethan. As a result, the walls of our tiny studio condo started to close in on us. This weekend, we're off to New Meadows with Heather's sisters for the weekend followed next weekend by what I hope will be a relatively uneventful 4th of July holiday. Then, my 30th class reunion is upon us followed by our annual "We really will get rid of everything we don't need this time" garage sale which is followed by a work event for four days in McCall. Is it August yet?

Twin Falls Idaho Class of 79 Reunion

2009-06-09T07:57:00.001-06:00

The 30th class reunion for Twin Falls High School is fast approaching, and the deadline to register is June 22. Below is the list of classmates still on the missing list. For more information or to give information on a missing person, e-mail tfhs79@hotmail.com

Out of the mouths of babes...and Ethan!

2009-06-08T14:51:00.001-06:00

Ethan continues to entertain us with his perspective on life. A week ago, the neighborhood elementary school that he will attend in a couple of years had its year end carnival which we've taken him to since he was a baby. This year as in the past couple of years, we went with our 5 year old neighbor Elizabeth who is Ethan's closest friend though they can fight like a brother and sister. They had their faces painted, did a cake walk (Elizabeth won), played on the jumpies, and ended up on the standby monkey bars. Elizabeth fell off, and, over a week later, she is seeing an orthopedic surgeon to determine if the severe break she suffered in the fall will necessitate surgery. At the time, Ethan showed little sympathy and seemed exasperated that her fall might interrupt the carnival. He took my face in his little hands, looked me earnestly in the eyes, and said, "Daddy. Maybe they should just cut off her arm."

Over the course of the past few weeks, we had some close out of town friends visit. Ethan seemed somewhat cool toward the woman of the couple, and when I asked him why after they departed, he replied, "Because she kept calling me 'cute.' I am NOT cute!" When pressed about how he would describe himself that would make him happy, he said, "Well, I am just disgusting."

Today at his gymnastics class at The Little Gym, Ethan informed his mother that Caroline is his first girlfriend. He said she keeps trying to kiss him, and he stressed "on the mouth." He is certain he is going to marry Emily from school but is quite content to have Caroline as "my girlfriend." In his strained whisper he gets when he wants to be confidential, he hissed to his mother that "You need to go her phone number now Mommy."

I'm hopeful that these three examples of Ethan's prowess with girls will not be indicative of his future approach and success in the dating world.

Memorial Day

2009-05-28T13:49:00.002-06:00

One night prior to Memorial Day, Heather and I stopped at Cloverdale Cemetary because Ethan expressed interest in visiting where my dad is buried. Then on Memorial Day, he wanted to go with me to place flowers on Dad's grave. "Grave" is a stretch because it's a relatively small niche because Dad wanted to be cremated. Every once in a while, Ethan asks about death and this was no exception. Upon viewing the niche, he asked, "But how did you get him in there?" I asked what he meant, and he responded, "How did you fit him in?" I had to stop to think and quickly pointed to the screws holding the marble plates on indicating we had to unscrew those. He said, "Oh. Yeah." We then walked toward the graves of some dear friends including a woman who was like my second mom, Carolyn. We placed flowers on her grave, and then walked back to my dad's niche. As we walked, Ethan asked "If your daddy is in Heaven, how is he in the cementary (yes..."cementary")?" I tried to explain the body vs. the soul, but he didn't get it. As I talked to him, I got a bit teary eyed, and Ethan wiped a tear off my cheek and admonished me that "Big boys do NOT cry, Daddy." He hugged me and we left to visit the reindeer in the pond near the graves. I'll hide any tears next time.

Mother's Day

2009-05-10T20:12:00.003-06:00

Mothers Day was a great day! Ethan told his mom yesterday that he and Daddy would make her breakfast, "But, that's it. After that Dad and I are doing what we want." Of course, Ethan decided to sleep late today meaning Daddy went to get Mommy a mocha and cook her breakfast. When Ethan decided to get up and moving, "doing what we want" meant biking and walking the greenbelt, running through sprinklers, riding bikes some more, and tonight Heather drove him by the baby buffalo at her farm. All in all, it was a great day!

REALITY CHECK ABOUT GOVERNOR OTTER

2009-04-30T10:21:00.003-06:00

I'm diverting from the primary purpose for the "Dunham Family Blog" today because I'm weary of the political spin about transportation funding in Idaho and Governor Otter in particular. Obviously, as the Executive Director of the Idaho Associated General Contractors, I have an interest in transportation funding.

However, though some legislators dismiss us as a "special interest" (until election time comes around), they should not and cannot escape the truth: Idaho must invest more in our transportation infrastructure for the sake of citizen safety and the state's economy.

What prompts me to divert from family news today is the latest round of Otter-bashing which is as unfair as it is duplicitous. Here's what I sent out to a large group of friends today:

Friends,

I’m sending this to a group of friends in my contact list because I’m frustrated with the erroneous spin being put on Governor Otter’s transportation funding efforts -- in particular his visit to Midvale, Idaho a couple of days ago. I doubt you have the real story if you’ve followed the news.

You might have read the Idaho Statesman’s misleading headline yesterday about Governor Otter’s “Capital for a Day” visit to Midvale followed this morning by Dan Popkey’s Statesman column where he writes “House members took pleasure in the rough treatment Otter got Tuesday when he held Capitol for a Day in Midvale. He got an earful about federal matters largely beyond his control and heard little support for raising fuel taxes. ‘I think the governor got that message (Tuesday) when he was in Midvale,’ said House GOP Caucus Chairman Ken Roberts of McCall.”

Speaking of message, after reading all of that in the Statesman, I have one as well because, I was in Midvale at the same meeting the entire day. Here’s the real story:

• There wasn’t even one legislator in Midvale on Tuesday so recounting what happened that day is hearsay at best;
• The Governor was there before 9:00 a.m. until about 2:45 p.m. fielding a host of questions;
• There were some heated questions in the morning mainly focused on sheep, wolves, the federal government, the federal stimulus package and a long discussion about fire codes thrown in for good measure;
• At about 1:45 the very first transportation related question was asked when a citizen asked the Governor why the Midvale rest area was being refurbished (The answer? Complying with the American’s with Disabilities Act, a crumbling foundation, and safety to alleviate trucks parking on the highway due to inadequate parking);
• There followed a candid – and sometimes light hearted -- discussion about transportation and taxes. For about 45 minutes. NOT ONE citizen suggested there wasn’t a need for additional revenue. Citizens were actually complimentary about the improvements to Highway 95, and people laughed with the Governor as he recounted how treacherous Highway 95 was over 40 years ago when he drove back and forth from Boise Junior College to visit his folks in Council. There were certainly a couple of citizens expressing frustration with taxes but even they acknowledged the need for more revenue;
• There was less than a handful of protestors outside wielding signs such as “Otter’s Folly” (about the rest area though they weren’t in the room to hear the explanation), big horn sheep, taxes, etc. Evidently, none of them felt the need or courage to come into the building to voice their opinion;
• So, out of about 6 hours, the Governor spent about 45 minutes totally focused on transportation. While a few people expressed frustration about raising taxes, not one person disagreed with the Governor about the need;
• That was it. Hardly a “message” to the Governor about his transportation goals.

Throughout the day, the Governor was on-point, informed, engaged, understanding, compassionate, and dedicated. In return, even those most frustrated by sheep, taxes, Obama, and fire codes seemed genuinely affectionate toward the Governor. If this was a battle of ideas between the Governor and legislators among the “folks back home,” Governor Otter was the clear winner.

Oh, by the way, he got a standing ovation at the end.

I went to Midvale because I had heard some legislators suggest the Governor is “out of touch with the people.” I wanted to see for myself. I sat in the back of the room all day. I never once spoke to the Governor. I doubt he even knows I was there. But I wanted to understand the truth rather than rely on misleading headlines and political spin back in Boise.

I’m glad I was there because the reality of the day seems to have been lost in the reporting and in the Capitol Annex.
Mark

Spring is finally here!

2009-04-19T21:33:00.002-06:00

Months ago I blogged that the Dunhams had cabin fever, but this was the first really nice weekend in a long time with temperatures reaching the 70's. Ethan and I mowed the lawn for the first time, and Heather cleaned up the yard. We biked to the Boise Train Depot where "Big Mike" the locomotive was dedicated and took an elevator to the top of the tower. The weekend was also filled with gratefulness about what we have as some neighbors packed to move away. The 6 year old boy spent most of his time with us, and it was tough to hear about the difficulties experienced in a house next door. It makes you wonder what decisions made in life send some people down one path and others down another. The things we are teaching Ethan now will last a lifetime, and as the neighbors drive off in their U-Haul -- a mom and two boys with different dads headed to a house bought by the grandparents where the littlest boy says "we can finally live somewhere forever" -- we can only hope their lives will be better than they have been. We wish them well....

Furry Eyes

2009-04-16T10:28:00.003-06:00

Awhile back, Ethan's teachers recommended he be tested through the Boise School District, and, surprisingly, they suggested he might need glasses. Both Heather and I have vision problems, and I first started to wear glasses when I was in 7th grade. Today, Ethan had his eyes tested which included dilation. He told his mom that the drops made everything "look furry." The result? He has perfect vision! Now they are off to PoJo's to celebrate.

Easter

2009-04-12T20:01:00.006-06:00

Easter is a fun time for the Dunhams mainly because we get to go to Heather's sister Laurie's house for the annual family event. This was the 32nd annual event (well, not for Ethan and I because we're relatively recent additions to the family), and the weather was simply wonderful as was the company and food (had to make sure I got that in the proper order....). However, this wasn't our only event. Yesterday morning, we were invited to a wonderful brunch at our friend Elina's house where Ethan participated in what was the first of three Easter egg hunts this weekend. Ethan and Mom then colored eggs. Last night the adults got to play as Heather and I laughed through our montly "Supper Club" which was hosted by our friend Elizabeth in her new house. The theme was French, and I even tried a snail. It was....well, I didn't vomit. It's apparent that my father's Norwegian roots take precedent over my mother's quarter French roots. However, because I surrendered and ate a snail, perhaps I am more French than expected....Today, Ethan awoke to find the Easter Bunny had delivered the goods which included a stuffed dinosaur ("I don't like chocolate bunnies Mom) and an Optimus Prime Transformer Kite. His excitement was palpable. He came downstairs and found even more Easter eggs, and decided the ones too high for the Easter Bunny to plant must have been put there by the Easter Bunny's boss. Later, as we drove to Aunt Laurie's, he commented on how pretty the mountains were. Heather told him they were the "Owyhees" which he now calls the "High Why Hees." He spent the day running with cousins, getting wet in the sprinkler, showing dad the new kittens (who were born this morning on the deck -- blessedly prior to our arrival), teeter-tottering (not sure if that's an official verb), and avoiding eating as much as possible. The drive home included a trip past "Mommy's farm to see the buffalo," and then a well deserved snooze on the way back home. Yawn.....

Songs

2009-04-06T15:05:00.004-06:00

I’ve been thinking a lot about songs lately and how hearing one can instantly send you back in time. The very first song I can remember is “I Want To Hold Your Hand” by the Beatles. I remember being in our kitchen in Montana listening to it on the radio, and we moved to Twin Falls when I was 3. “You Are My Sunshine” is my brother Steve playing the guitar and encouraging his toddler brother to sing along. I wasn’t good then either.

“Walking After Midnight” by Patsy Cline puts me on Falls Avenue East in Twin Falls listening to my mom sing along as she cleans house. I must have been about 4 years old at the time because I was not in school, yet I remember it vividly. Tammy Wynette had two hits which remind me of Mom, and they seem at odds with each other: “Stand By Your Man” and “D.I.V.O.R.C.E.” She sang a lot when I was a kid, and I remember being on icy Falls Avenue in Twin Falls in her red Buick station wagon hearing her sing those country songs. 40+ years later, I understand that she sang both those songs as she grappled with the tough decision to divorce my father – a decision that saved all of us including him.

“Eight Days a Week” or “Honey Don’t” by the Beatles brings a memory of my brother Steve teaching my mom to dance to rock and roll in our dining room. She was wearing black Capri pants and a white dress blouse. He was wearing a paisley shirt. She must have been about 34 or 35 years old which seems really young now! “Who Wants to Buy This Diamond Ring” is my brothers Steve and Dirk’s junior high school band playing at Bass Lake at the Blue Lakes Country Club. "Killing Me Softly With His Song" is my beloved late friend Carolyn who babysat me when I was little and explained the importance of taking it easy, laying in the sun, reading a good book, and putting your beach blanket near a larger person so you looked better in comparison.

“Another Brick in the Wall” by Pink Floyd is the summer after high school graduation which seems distant yet recent at the same time. “I’m Not In Love” by 10CC puts me back on a highway between Twin Falls and Kalispell, Montana in my brother Dan’s green Datson 240Z when he was letting his teenage brother (me) drive before I had a license as we headed home after visiting our grandparents. “The Long and Winding Road” from the Beatles “Abbey Road” reminds me of my brother Dirk who bought that album when we lived in a little rental on Monroe Street in Twin Falls after our parents divorced. He threatened me with my 3rd grade life if I scratched it, and I was so careful with his album. The song “She Came In Through the Bathroom” window from that same album reminds me of Dirk and Steve because they snuck into the Monroe house one night through the bathroom window, and Dirk fell into the tub when the towel bar gave way. At least I think that happened. Memories like songs can evolve through the years!

“Green Eyed Lady” is my stepsister Nancy. “Saturday In The Park” by the Doobie Brothers sends me back to perfect Twin Falls’ afternoons headed to swim somewhere. “Love Story” from the movie puts me in the passenger seat of a Cutlass 442 late on a Friday night as my brother’s friend headed to Boise for Marine Reserve Training and, on a monthly basis, took his buddy’s little kid brother back and forth so I could visit my dad. “Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer is Senior year in high school.

Any song by ABBA reminds me of Heather and makes me smile.

“Dust in the Wind” reminds me of a middle of the night trip to San Francisco with my friend Chap as we followed our buddy Joe who was moving there after college but had packed every cassette other than “Kansas’ Greatest Hits.” Frank Sinatra singing “Fly Me To the Moon” reminds me of Charles Manson because the summer I discovered Sinatra through my incredible stepfather/mentor, I was also reading the terrifying “Helter Skelter.”

“Separate Ways” by Journey used to remind me of college days….seeing Journey at the BSU Pavilion (pre-Taco Bell days) in the 4th row on the floor using tickets my roommate and BSU bookstore employee Jeff had obtained. We thought that night was just perfect. Now? That song reminds me of Ethan because he loves it! He also loves hard rock, and our recent monster truck experience has made AC/DC a particular favorite of his. He hears it on the radio – or George Thorogood – and he says with excitement “Dad! That’s our monster truck song!”

Every song on the radio has the potential of a memory. As Ethan drives along with Mom and Dad during our travels, I wonder what memories he will take away that will drift into his consciousness in 44 years when he is my age? I want them to be good memories. And good music….

What is it about toots and boys?

2009-04-01T09:47:00.007-06:00

I think it is a gender thing. My 4 year old son cannot stop laughing when he toots. "Toots" is the only word allowed in our household to describe the "f" word which, in this case for those of you with dirty minds is "flatulence" or the more common "fart." Ethan almost cries when laughing when he is...well...engaged in this behavior. I try to limit this....activity....cautioning him that he can NEVER do it at school, in front of Grandma (speaking from 48 years of personal experience, this is doomed to failure), or his mother. He will giggle, turn around, wiggle his "bum" (we also cannot use "butt" in our home), and either really....well...let one go or pretend to do so. Then he collapses in fits of laughter saying "Did you hear that one Daddy!" If it is particularly....well....smelly, he covers his nose amidst giggles and roars "Oh, that one stinks!" On the off chance he performs this typical male act in front of Mom, she admonishes him, looks at me and says "it must be a boy thing." Of course, sometimes she laughs as well though she doesn't like to admit it. It really IS a boy thing I suppose. Growing up with three older brothers, this simple natural act took on an art form, and evidently Ethan is an artist. Perhaps it was inappropriate for me to put a Whoopee Cushion in his Christmas stocking. Oh well. Here he comes again!

Birthday, monsters, and aliens

2009-03-28T10:22:00.002-06:00

March 27th was my 48th birthday which I find difficult to believe -- let alone accept! Talk about being the oldest dad at the preschool! One day as I walked down the long hall in the Boise State Children's Center to pick up Ethan, two little kids leaned out the window to their classroom and exclaimed "Hey, that looks like my grandpa!" The other said, "Yeah! It does look like your grandpa." Refraining from knocking them into their room, I picked up Ethan. Yesterday, I picked him up immediately after his nap, and we headed to the movie theater to meet his mom for an opening day viewing of "Monsters vs. Aliens." Ethan's been very excited about the movie, and, knowing it opened on my birthday, he counted down the days to my birthday. Every morning, he'd ask "Is it your birthday today Daddy?" That was kid code for "we get to go see my movie on your birthday." We had a great afternoon at the show (which had enough obscure adult humor to make all the parents laugh a lot), and another boy from his school -- Noah -- coincidentally sat behind us. Ethan was excited and asked what color our house is. I replied "Gray and white," and, as we were leaving, he ran up to Noah and said "Hey, if you want to come to my house to play, it's the gray and white one." Even though I graduated from high school when my mom was 48, having a pre-schooler at 48 in my case is OK. Especially because I'll remember this birthday forever!

Frank Stein

2009-03-21T21:22:00.001-06:00

Garage sale season is beginning which means Heather is out and about on Saturday morning finding treasures. She loves finding deals, and she comes home with some amazing things. And some not so amazing things. But, 95% of the time, they're great. Ethan too is developing a love for garage sales because he's realized it's likely he will get some sort of treasure. Today, a woman was selling Halloween stuff, and Ethan bought a hanging skeleton as well as a Frankenstein set complete with a head and hands. Tonight as he was getting ready for bed, he told his mom to set something "over by Frank Stein."

Basketball, puddles and paint!

2009-03-21T20:04:00.008-06:00

Yesterday was 70 degrees in Boise, and today...well, the weather alternated being beautiful to pouring rain to thunder and lightening which is unusual for Boise. Ethan was a bit nervous about the lightening and made sure he was in the house safe after stowing his bikes in the garage. It's "bikes" because he's thiiiisssss close to giving up his reliable red "motorcycle" in favor of a bike given to him by his cousin. It has hand brakes, and he rode it today for the first time. He spent most of the time riding in puddles and getting soaked. He also played basketball with neighbor Nick though their definition of playing basketball involves Nick jumping over Ethan's head and dunking the ball. As Ethan gets taller, Nick had better jump a bit higher. In between puddles and basketball, Ethan helped Daddy with what is the third remodel of the guest bathroom in 10 years. Dad shouldn't be allowed to watch HGTV. Ethan told his mom that she wasn't allowed to help "because painting is for boys and girls aren't good at it." As she watched how both her boys painted, it was obvious she disagreed with Ethan's assertion.

That's a poopy job

2009-03-21T20:04:00.007-06:00

The other day, Heather was driving with Ethan who saw a sewer truck doing its duty. Ethan asked his mom what it was and she explained. He said, "That's a poopy job!"

Boys' Day: Monster trucks and black eyes

2009-03-15T08:38:00.008-06:00

March 14, 2009 was a "boys' day, Daddy!" I had arranged for the Dunham boys to join friends who also have 4 year old boys to attend the Monster Truck Jam at the Idaho Center. Heather was appalled at the prospect of getting in touch with your inner Mullet and declined to participate; however, Ethan looked forward to the event for weeks. He would say things like "I think the trucks are there already, Daddy. Let's go check!" This was two weeks before the show.

Yesterday, he was up early for a Saturday because he was so excited. Daddy and Ethan enjoyed tacos for breakfast. It was, afterall, a boys' day. We ignored his mother's carefully chosen and ironed fashion selection for Ethan. What boy in his right mind would wear ironed cords to a Monster Truck Jam? Ethan said, "sheesh" and chose Levi's. Secure in our wrinkled Levi's, we departed at 11:30 to meet AJ LaBeau, Joe Kreizenbeck, and Zach Eaton at Wings near the Center.

All was well in the private back room with the free Wii game until we were booted to a smaller table due to a scheduling conflict. The four boys decided to play Foos Ball, and Ethan suffered the indignity of a younger girl slamming one of the Foos Ball rods into his eye causing an instant black eye and cut which is darkening today. As we left the place to head to the Monster Truck Jam, Ethan told me "we're never coming back to this place. I don't like that girl." We assured him this wasn't likely his last black eye in a bar from a girl. The picture at the top of this post shows the immediate aftermath.

Arriving at the Monster Truck Jam, we settled into our seats, and the boys' eyes were almost as big as the wheels on the monster trucks. We plugged our ears though I had to hold my hands over Ethan's until we purchased the $20 earphones shaped like monster truck tires. The show was OK, but the highpoint for each generation in our group was the motocross dudes whose jumps and stunts were amazing. As we left, Ethan assured me he needed a "ramp and a red motorcycle" so he could "go higher and higher." Later that night, he confirmed to his mother and me that he intends to produce a "motorcycle show every night -- but not school nights -- and every morning in the church parking lot" behind our house. With that future in mind, I fear the black eye will be the least of the residual ailments stemming from what was really a perfect boys' day.

Two More Weeks Grandma

2009-03-10T13:01:00.003-06:00

We visited Grandpa and Grandma over the weekend in Twin Falls to celebrate their 39th wedding anniversary and his 84th birthday.

Heather and Grandpa celebrated in Jackpot...both days. Both losers...both days and both people.

Grandma, Ethan, and I hung out in Twin, visited the Herritt's Planetarium and Museum and CSI and checked out Candy Cane Park's "heavy equipment" as Ethan calls playground equipment. Grandma also got to cut Ethan's hair.

On Sunday morning, Ethan told us he wanted to stay there for two more weeks. It made his grandparents smile.

On the road again...

2009-03-06T16:19:00.003-07:00

OK, I'm not a country music fan. In fact, I can't tolerate most of it and almost break my fingers pushing the radio buttons if I hear the first twang or CW star garbling one syllable words into mult-syllable yodels about heartache. Nevertheless, I've been thinking of Willy Nelson's "On the Road Again" a lot because the past four weeks, I've been out of town almost full time. I'm sitting in LAX this afternoon waiting for my plane back to Boise, and I'm so eager to see Heather and Ethan. His phone conversations keep progressing in maturity and content, and last night he asked "you coming home tomorrow, Daddy?" This morning, evidently thinking I can see through the phone, Ethan said, "You've been gone this many days Daddy" meaning he was holding up all 10 fingers (though I've only been gone four days). He'll run to greet me tonight at the airport, jump into my arms, hug me, hang on me, stare at me for a couple minutes, and then call me "Smarty Pants." And then, secure I'm home, he'll squirm out of my arms and run to baggage claim. I can hardly wait.

"Smart Brain" and snow balls

2009-02-23T21:56:00.003-07:00

Over the weekend, we spent a couple restful days at a cabin outside of Baker City, Oregon. Ethan was so excited to head to the mountains where he was focused on riding "snowmobilers." Last week, as he was trying to get to sleep, he said to his mom "Can I talk about the snowmobilers for just 10 more minutes? Please!" He took a couple rides on the snow machines, the four-wheeler, and the "Mule." The weather was cold but awesome, and the creek through the property was iced over but beginning to melt. We made snow balls to throw into the creek which broke the ice. Ethan used a snow ball maker, and when I said that was a great idea, he nonchalantly tapped his forehead, and said, "Yeah. I know. I've got a smart brain."

"I have absolutely no idea."

2009-02-19T15:24:00.002-07:00

I'm in Idaho Falls this week for work, and I called the house this afternoon to check in. Ethan answered the phone, and we had quite a conversation. I'm still not accustomed to him answering the phone, and, when we have adult-like conversations, I have to remind myself that he's no longer a baby. He told me that he was "just hanging out" today, and that "Mom is doing something weird." When I asked what she was doing, he replied, "I have absolutely no idea." He then informed me that the walkie-talkies we purchased were working but that the light on the charger was still red. "That is so funny," he exclaimed. When I get back to Boise tomorrow, we are immediately headed to the mountains outside Baker City, Oregon to spend the weekend at his aunt and uncle's cabin. He is very excited to "ride the snowmobilers" and play in the snow. I asked if he was going to gymnastics later today, and he replied "Yeah, yeah, yeah" afterwhich he told me it was a "beautiful day out Dad!" By the end of this conversation he said, "I'm gonna go now." I tried to interrupt that I wanted to talk to Mom, but he hung up. Someday I will take phone conversations with my son for granted, but, for now, I relish them and marvel that he's no longer the little baby who sat on my lap.

Super Squirrel Wars on Agate Court

2009-02-14T21:50:00.003-07:00

I have come full circle on squirrels. At one point, I installed a squirrel feeder outside a window so I could watch the cute critters. I was somewhat reluctant to install a new fence because the squirrels loved to run along the top of our old wooden fence. I come by this affinity toward squirrels honestly: my parents actually tame squirrels in their backyard and have found they enjoy peanuts and Pepsi. Seriously. Through the years, however, I've become less enamored of these "tree rats," took down the feeder, and have almost declared war of them. My version of war is nothing compared to Heather "Patton" Dunham's quest to rid our attic of the squirrels who invaded the addition to our home. A few months ago, we heard noises in the attic and determined squirrels were somehow getting inside. Heather found a squirrel dude in the phone book (who knew?) who promptly came out and found a spot where the siding on the new addition wasn't sealed properly. He sealed it shut and assured Heather the offending rodents were outside.

"How do you know they are outside?" she asked.

He replied, "Well, I saw two of them in the tree near the house so I knew they were out."

Heather said something to the effect of "Dude! We have hundreds of squirrels everywhere!"

For quite some time, it seemed as if the squirrel war was over, but the battle had just begun. Recently, we heard the noises again, and out came the squirrel man again. He found yet another hole only this time in the new attic fan. He sealed that one and hoped the critters were outside. His reassurance was that it is winter so if they were inside, they wouldn't smell....

The sound started again, and he came back out to meet Heather again. Turns out, a mother squirrel had literally chewed through the metal trying to get to her babies. Heather being a loving mother completely understood this maternal instinct. She told the guy to "kill it."

He seemed startled and said he could trap her and drop her across the river. Heather said, "No. With our luck, she's one of those homing squirrels who will figure out how to get back home. Kill it. I used to kill gophers. Just kill it."

The guy asked if we realized the babies were likely in our attic, and Heather said "Kill it." He set a trap and asked if she minded if he took the rodent home to eat because, being from Tennessee, he likes to eat squirrel. "Just kill it."

The past two days, we have diligently checked the trap on the roof to no avail. However, this morning, in another part of the house, we heard a scratching in a closed fireplace flue. The squirrel, evidently intimidated by the imposing trap (hey, even a tree rat with a brain the size of an acorn would be wary of the concoction on our roof by this point), so she chewed through the fireplace cap evidently seeking an alternate route into her home. Like an unfortunate Santa Clause, she got trapped. Out came the squirrel guy again, and he took out a gun -- in our living room -- and "killed it."

I wonder how roast squirrel tasted for a Valentine's Day dinner?

"V" is for....

2009-02-09T20:45:00.004-07:00

Today at Ethan's class at the BSU Children's Center, the group was discussing the week's letter which is "V." The kids had the opportunity to pretend to be veterinarians while the teachers explained animal doctors. They used stuffed animals as part of the discussion. On the way home, Ethan was explaining this to Heather who asked him if they listened to the animals' hearts, and an exasperated Ethan exclaimed, "Mom! They don't have hearts. They have stuffin!"

Throwing up and toys...

2009-02-08T21:51:00.003-07:00

For the first time really since I met Heather (going on 10 years!), she was literally down for the count with some sort of intestinal "thing." 6 teachers in Ethan's school were out last week with the same illness, and I happened to be in California when it hit Heather. When she was too sick to pick me up at the airport, I knew she was really sick: Heather LOVES airports...and, now, so does Ethan. When I got home, Ethan was asleep, and she was trying to sleep. Heather indicated Ethan was a good little doctor...showing concern for her, getting her water, etc. He asked her at one point if she wanted some "mecidine," and when she said she would, he replied, "Well, you'll have to get it." Because it was on a top shelf!

For the next day or so, she stayed in bed trying to recover, and I played "Mr. Mom" which was kinda fun despite the reason. I took Ethan to school, picked him up, etc. I know. I know. Every dad should do all of that, and I do my share. But, I got to see firsthand how busy Heather is with him. On Saturday, Ethan and I spent about 1.5 hours in Fred Meyer browsing, looking at toys, shopping for food, etc. I remarked that his mom sure was sick, and he said, "Yeah! Really sick. I sure hope she doesn't throw up on my toys." When I laughed, he seemed embarrassed, and admonished me in a terse whisper "DAD! Don't tell her I said that!"

All is well again now. She's feeling much better, Ethan got to enjoy a playdate with our former neighbors this afternoon, and no one has thrown up on his toys!

Superbowls and birthdays

2009-02-02T20:43:00.005-07:00

Years ago, a buddy chastised his friends about not checking sports' schedules when scheduling life events such as marriages or births. Yesterday, we scheduled Ethan's 4th birthday party at Chuck E Cheese on Superbowl Sunday, and invited this buddy and his 4 year old. Prior to this, he had been proud never to have set foot in the place. But life goals sometimes give way to kids' expectations, so they arrived and had a pretty good time. In fact, we left before they did, went home, put Ethan down for a nap, and then headed to this same buddy's annual Super Bowl party where he had to admit that he and his son had dawdled at the dreaded Chuck E Cheese for at least a half an hour after we left. By the Super Bowl, the kids were excited, filled with energy and sugar, and ignorant of the game as they ran and ran. It was a great day but the end of a long weekend starting with the Governor's Ball on Friday night and another 4 year old's birthday party on Saturday. The Dunham's dropped into bed exhausted last night.

Busy Weekend

2009-01-31T20:27:00.005-07:00

This is a busy weekend! Last night was the Governor's Dinner and Ball, today was a 4th birthday party for one of Ethan's school mates, and tomorrow is Ethan's 4th birthday party at Chuck E' Cheese. Both Heather and I commented "it would be nice sometime just to sit down and watch an old movie." Many of my friends and family shake their heads at how busy we always are, but I don't really know any different way. We like being busy. But...it would be nice to sit down and watch an old movie with Heather!

Birthdays, TV ads, and "That's it?"

2009-01-27T10:25:00.004-07:00

Ethan turns 4 years old today, and his understanding and expectations for his birthday have matured along with his discerning television viewing habit. This morning, he was allowed to open one small present (which, admittedly, was something left over from a "going out of business" sale at a now defunct toy store). To suggest he was underwhelmed by the dual guns that shoot foam discs is an understatment ("That's it?") but also a testament to the effectiveness of television marketing during his favorite shows. He wants the Lego Miner (pictured). He also wants a remote control dinosaur because a classmate brought his $300 Christmas dinosaur to school this week for "D" week. Ethan's $3.99 dinosaur (hey it does roar) that I got at an airport gift shop didn't really compare. So, he will get a little bigger and a bit more expensive present later today. In addition, he will get his birthday party next Sunday at Chuck E Cheese. But, I guess "that's it."

Friends

2009-01-24T21:43:00.002-07:00

Ethan's buddy from school Henry has become quite a friend. They love being with each other and share a fascination with Transformers. Henry turned 4 in October and Ethan turns four this week. I have distinct memories of a couple of my friends who I had at that age, and we still keep in touch all of these years later. Of course, we grew up in a smaller town with two junior highs and one high school. Life seems more transitory these days, and as I watch Ethan play with Henry or our neighbor Elizabeth, I wonder if their friendships will transcend the years.

Bananas, Santa, and Elves

2009-01-17T16:00:00.005-07:00

The other night when Heather was getting Ethan ready for bed, he wanted his nightly bedtime snack, so she brought him a banana. Jokingly Heather used the banana as a telephone and said the call was for Ethan. Here's the ensuing conversation:

Heather: "Ethan! It's for you!"

Ethan: "Who is it, Mom?"

Heather: "It's Santa Clause."

Ethan puts the banana to his face like a phone and nonchalantly says: "Hey Santa."

Ethan pretends to listen and says "What! You wanna drop your elves off here? Well...I guess that would be OK."

After handing Heather the banana/phone, he grabbed it back and exclaimed "Oh, wait. I have school tomorrow!"

He pretends to listen, and says, "Oh. OK. Just drop them off at the house."

There's are fine lines between imagination and cute -- and weird!

Working from home

2009-01-14T15:38:00.005-07:00

I took today off from work, but I wonder if those of us connected to -- dependent on! -- technology ever really take a day off? I use a Motorola Q and have a built-in WiFi card on my laptop. So, although I officially took a day off, I am still connected, responding to e-mails, working on projects, etc.

There are sometimes days in the office when I don't physically see fellow employees because we comminicate virtually either through e-mail or an internal communication system called "HUD Fonality." So, is it any different to be connected from 2 miles away? From 2,000?

I have really tried -- on a few rare occasions -- to simply check out. I had a wake-up call once when Ethan wanted me to be outside with him while he rode his bike. At one point, he peddled up to me and said "Daddy! I want you to watch me -- not that thing!" I had been "doing e-mails" the whole time thinking my mere presence was sufficient. It wasn't. And it isn't. I need to work on ways to disengage from work and technology so I can engage in being "with" my family rather than just being around them. There is a difference. And I struggle with it.

He went from crawling to a trike to a bike in the blink of an eye. Maybe he did it while I was checking e-mail.

And so it begins....

2009-01-13T08:09:00.004-07:00

As I noted in a previous post, the Idaho Legislature convened yesterday and heard Governor Butch Otter give a bleak State of the State address that outlined painful budget realities. There will be targeted and significant cuts to the state budget which will be as difficult politically as they will financially. At the same time, the Governor outlined an aggressive and thoughtful approach to raising certain taxes and fees to address Idaho's crumbling roads. You could have predicted the rhetoric that is spewing forth from legislators searching for any reason to oppose the Governor. And so it begins....

On another note, at a legislative dinner last night for new Senators hosted by a small group of lobbying friends, as introductions were made around the table, many of the lobbyists good-naturedly insulted me given my age which, though relatively young in the scheme of life (though I am 4 months older than the President-Elect), having lobbied since the mid-80's and being in my 40's, many of these guys were in grade school or high school when I started. And they let me know it. For the record, I do NOT have false teeth....

Idaho Legislature Starts Tomorrow

2009-01-11T16:34:00.003-07:00

Tomorrow morning, Idaho's legislature convenes for the annual session, and it promises to be a painful session. I presented on Wednesday to the Economic Revenue and Assessment Joint Committee (or whatever it's named this year!) and commented I started my career working with the legislature before this same committee in the 1984 session! I've been working with the Idaho Legislature longer than most, and there are less than a handful of legislators and other elected officials who pre-date my run at the Idaho political game. Having weathered the legislative process for so long, I've been an active participant and a bemused observer in many of the larger battles in Idaho's recent political history. I have also witnessed the ups and downs of the budget, and we enter this session with an economy that can only be described as frightening. Given the global nature of the economic debacle, there isn't a lot the Legislature can do -- or is likely willing to do -- but weather the storm. There are necessary public policy priorities like investing in our crumbling roads and bridges, but even that obvious need will take a backseat to the economic reality coupled with the inevitable and inherent political jockeying that often pits legislators against each other for the sport of it rather than for what's best for the state. It should be quite a show, but I say that every year.

Cabin Fever

2009-01-11T15:57:00.002-07:00

With the holidays over, the snow melted into a few remaining dirty piles, and the walls seemingly closing in, I think we have cabin fever at our place. Couple that with a 4-year old (in two weeks) with a growing mind of his own and an independent streak...well, we need to get out more! Ethan and I rode bikes around the neighborhood today though it was cold, and he and his mom have gone on a shopping trip (despite his protests) to buy him some socks and shoes that fit. But on this gray, drab Sunday, I think all of the Dunhams are looking forward to Spring...and it's still two months away!

It's in his blood

2009-01-05T18:11:00.007-07:00

Being a carpenter runs deep in Ethan's pedigree. From great grandpas to uncles on his dad's side, being a carpenter (or an artist specializing in wood I think in awe when I see what his uncles can do!), is in Ethan's blood. He is so excited to "get to work" on projects. Over the Christmas holidays, he had a lot of fun working on projects wearing the prized construction outfit he received from Uncle Dirk and Aunt Cheryl. He helped Dad with some projects in the house, and he spent a LOT of time developing and drawing a complicated plan for what turned out to be a treehouse. He showed it to Uncle Steve on Sunday, and it's now posted on Uncle Steve's fridge awaiting warmer weather when Ethan will bring his tools to Uncle Steve's so they can "get to work on that treehouse."

A defining moment

2009-01-05T13:46:00.007-07:00

Over the weekend, Ethan -- who turns 4 in a couple of weeks -- got his first real "big boy" bed from a cousin who has decided he's too old for it. It's about 4 feet off the ground with a ladder for access and a slide for a quick exit. Underneath is a fort. Ethan and I put it together on Saturday night, and on Sunday he and I headed to the store to outfit the new bed. Heather wasn't involved in either activityv"because forts are for boys." He chose a "Transformers" theme with a "Spiderman" extra pillowcase "just in case, Daddy." In addition, he decided he needed posters for his wall, and we purchased Monster Trucks, Marvel Comics with the "Fantastic Four" (a new favorite), the movie "Cars," and a "Spiderman" to round it out. He was disappointed they were out of "Transformers" posters, but confidently told me "we can just check another store, Daddy." When we got home, I couldn't help but notice the now discarded Little Tykes blue race car bed sitting in the hall awating a sale on Craigs List. But what really hit me was when we took down the Disney pictures from the wall. Gone are Winnie the Pooh and Peter Pan. Ethan insisted on placing his new posters where he wanted. He's also now insisting on picking out his own clothes. Wow....

Let It Snow?

2008-12-27T14:51:00.005-07:00

One of the biggest selling songs of all time is Bing Crosby's version of "White Christmas." I was dreaming of a white Christmas for Ethan because this is truly his first real year of excitement about the entire Santa experience. He's had a ball in the snow, and we went sledding with one of his little buddies at the Boise Train Depot on Christmas Eve. And, we did have a white Christmas day. In fact, we had about a week of it beforehand. I ended up dashing my folks from Boise to Twin Falls on Christmas afternoon due to concerns their shuttle the next day wouldn't run because of the weather. The roads were...well...OK in most respects. But, now Christmas is over, and my enthusiasm for a White Christmas has diminished with the continuing snowfall. It's probably snowed about 6 inches today, and we're having trouble keeping up with shoveling the drive-way. Not to mention, most of our neighbors are gone for the holidays meaning the cul-de-sac is deserted, and we're trying to be good neighbors by shoveling their walks as well if only to make the neighborhood seem occupied. So...I'm now dreaming of about a 45 degree New Years!

Christmas 2008

2008-12-25T07:07:00.001-07:00

Last night, we went to my brother Dirk's house for Christmas eve for a fun evening. Ethan had fun with his uncles and playing with the new train Aunt Cheryl has circling one of her Christmas trees. Grandma Faye was in her element with her granddaughter Ashley who was sharing her first Christmas with her 8 month old son Paul.

The rest of the Northwest Story

2008-12-17T11:11:00.004-07:00

As noted in my most recent post, my trip on Northwest Airlines to and from Washington DC was worthy of a Steve Martin/John Candy "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" rehash.

At one point, I was reminded of an old Carol Burnett Show skit in which First Class Passengers (in Northwest Airline's case, First Class coupled with all of their special club members who seem to account for about 50% of the pre-boarders) were treated like gold while hapless regular folks (in the skit's case, it was Tim Conway) were berated and subjected to humiliation. Here's how I felt on Northwest at least going to DC from Boise: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCz8he36hsk

On one leg of a flight going to DC, the flight attendant actually smiled at us from First Class as she loudly unhooked the Velcro straps and connected them across the aisle essentially blocking us from partaking in First Class amenities. In my head, I pictured her on Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom eating her young. Anyway....

One other item of note from my sojourn in the Northwest terminal in DC that I forgot to mention was the poor woman rushing to make her gate when she slipped on a wet floor that was just mopped by a custodian. The poor woman fell hard, had her luggage fall all over, and dropped her coffee. The custodian simply watched her and didn't offer to help. Other passengers assisted her to her feet and collected her belongings. Customer service.

Back to Minneapolis...we did eventually board about an hour late and were de-iced on the runway (evidently Northwest is prepared for weather in Minneapolis unlike in Boise). We happened to have the same flight attendants from our DC leg, and they were just great. In fact, those flight attendants went out of their way to help -- and apologize.

We landed in Boise very late, and I finally got to bed about 3:00 am.

So...lessons about flying Northwest?

1. Last resort;
2. Saving 50 bucks on airfare should be weighed against the cost of food and beverages you consume on unexpected three hour layovers.
3. Northwest personnel with the exception of the return flight crew were indifferent.
4. Northwest has never considered an effective boarding process.
5. The only good thing I can say is they serve Pepsi products!

Northwest Airlines or North "Worst" Airlines

2008-12-16T20:28:00.005-07:00

I've traveled back and forth to Washington DC countless times over the past 25 years, but my recent trip -- which isn't completed yet as I sit delayed in the Minneapolis airport -- was my first (and last) trip using Northwest Airlines. The trip started out wrong on Sunday, December 14th when we were delayed leaving Boise by over an hour and a half.

Why?

Well, the flight was the first of the morning meaning the plane needed to be de-iced due to an overnight storm that lightly blanketed Boise with our first real snow of the year. Northwest -- despite the implications of the company name which suggests an understanding of winter weather in the winter -- ran out of de-icer and had to borrow some from another airline. The resulting delay caused me to miss my connecting flight in Minneapolis causing me to miss a business dinner that evening which was a major reason for the trip.

In addition, having flown primarily on Southwest (where customer service is paramount) and United (which at least seems cognizant of reasonable boarding procedures) both of which have orderly and logical boarding down to a science, I was stunned to participate in my first Northwest Airline boarding process which essentially meant special fliers (participants in a myriad of feel-good and great sounding clubs) got to board first and then, I kid you not, the announcement immediately after special boarding that "we are boarding all rows" caused a stampede. The boarding was chaotic with no thought about the logic of boarding from the rear of the plane first. If we were late before, we were later then.

Fast forward two days for my return. The Northwest Terminal at Reagan National Airport should be a clue because it hasn't been upgraded since Ronald Reagan starred in the "GE Theater." I languished in the 1950's era terminal for a while, and was a bit optimistic that the poor boarding process I experienced on the original flights wasn't common. The gate agent after announcing the incomprehensible list of special privileged boarders, did indicate the rest of us riff-raff would board by row. Of course, because so many people had already boarded in a hap hazard manner, the wait to get seated was about 15 minutes due to people spread throughout the plane and aisles with little organization. With frustrated passengers still coming aboard, the airline actually announced the plane was ready to depart. Better boarding procedures would have helped.

Late leaving DC as a result of Northwest's incomprehensible boarding process, we arrived in Minneapolis a bit late as well but at least in time to make my connection. I shouldn't have worried about missing my connection, because, you guessed it, Northwest was late again.

The board showed an on-time departure for quite a while. Ultimately, as the boarding time approached, a nonchalant Northwest Gate agent strolled to the podium carrying a Subway sandwich. The time was changed on the board, but he gave no reason. In fact, he sat down, munched on his sandwich, read USA Today, and sighed as he reluctantly approached the podium to answer a customer question. Immediately after that he sat down again, and spent nearly 15 minutes on his cell phone while customers approached the podium, started at him expectently, and finally walked away.

He finally made an announcement that the flight would be delayed because a pilot was delayed and would be arriving in time for a departure 25 minutes later than originally scheduled.Then the agent, left the podium, walked across the concourse, sat in a secluded area, and finished his sandwich as people stood in line at his podium.

Several minutes later -- about 10 minutes ago as I type this -- he announced the delay would be longer because the pilot wasn't just delayed. The pilot wasn't going to make it, and evidently alternative pilots were coming.

And so I sit in Minneapolis at a Northwest gate with nothing but a WiFi connection, a laptop, my frustration, and my blog to keep me company.

We will see, and I will update this blog post with the final chapter.

As it is, I guarantee my first Northwest Airlines experience was one of my worst flying experiences, and it will be my last Northwest experience.

Growing up fast

2008-12-02T12:21:00.001-07:00

I've been a bit under the weather lately and went to bed early last night. Ethan showed real concern and assured me he was going to take care of me. For a couple of hours, he would come in and out of the bedroom asking loudly "Are you OK Daddy? Need anything? I'm taking care of you!" He brought me two cups of ice water, and his mom told me he did it all by himself by dragging a stool to the cupboard, getting glasses, and filling them with ice and water. Later, he decided he needed to make me a "recipe" which means he gets out a Pyrex mixing bowl and virtually everything you can think of from the cupboard including spices, oil, etc. His concoction is a sickening menu of goop, but he was proud of it because he thought it would make me feel better. When I thanked him and asked if he wanted to be a chef when he grows up, he answered excitedly, "Yeah, when I'm bigger I'm gonna be a rock star and a cooker!" He danced off singing "Separate Ways" by Journey. I felt a little better.

Timeless Friends and Memories

2008-11-25T20:51:00.004-07:00

Heather and I just returned from Reno, Nevada for the Boise State-Nevada Reno football game. The weather was great though the game was heart-wrenching for a time when I was convinced my alma mater would blow it giving the Wolf Pack much to "howl" about. It's a trek I've been making since I was in college too many years ago. Friends made in college over 20 years ago congregate at the game, and we have too much fun! Ironically, this long friendship was started in the stands at a BSU game when we happened to run into each other. We've been friends ever since. Some things have changed through the years: We now all fly there rather than drive. We compare health problems, losses in retirement funds, expanding waistlines, and diminished expectations about loving our jobs rather than thinking we were going to change the world. An added bonus to the trip is being able to see my brother Dan and his wife Kay who live in Reno. All those years ago when we were in college, my friends and I often took advantage of Dan and Kay's hospitality, and it was great for everyone to see each other again. We'll be there again in two years!

Whiskers

2008-11-18T10:50:00.001-07:00

This morning, Ethan called me at work to excitedly tell me that he has whiskers.

He exclaimed “Daddy! Daddy! Know what! I’ve got whiskers! Two! On each side! They’re small but I can see them! “

I replied “Wow! That’s cool! You’re getting to be such a big boy! Do you need to start shaving?”

He nonchalantly replied, “Yeah. I’m growing up.”

He’s only 3.

"Bad Words"

2008-11-11T20:55:00.000-07:00

We have rules in our house about "bad words" which include "stupid, butt, hate, hell" and a couple others I'm probably forgetting. At a recent parent/teacher conference, we mentioned Ethan has used some of these recently -- almost testing us it seems -- and his teacher noted there is a boy in class who uses them routinely. Ethan sometimes asks us if "God" is a bad word which is a tough one. He asked "Is Oh My God bad, Daddy?" I said, "Yes, but you can talk about God." Tough to get a little boy to understand the distinctions and nuances of words. It's tough when a boy in school uses bad words. It's tough when we sit down to watch "It's a Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" only to realize every other word it seems in our treasured childhood program is "stupid." But, at least we have avoided the dreaded "s" word and the even worse "f" word. Until Disney On Ice....Returning home with our neighbors, Ethan dropped a toy and said loudly "Oh S__t!" which just about caused me to drive off the road. So, we are now going down that road. The road well traveled I fear.

The Votes Are In!

2008-11-05T08:44:00.000-07:00

In 1980, I was able to cast my first vote, and I continue to be proud that I voted for Ronald Reagan. The 1980 election was a watershed that changed history as Reagan's optimism and pride in the United States stood in stark contrast to the embarrassment that was Jimmy Carter with his "malaise" coupled with ineffective foreign policy. Carter's years in office, to me at the time and even now with the filter of years of experience and maturity, were simply awful. Our economy was in a tail spin, our respect throughout the world was dismal, and I cringed whenever Carter spoke because I considered him inept at best. So, my generation's first vote felt special because we changed the course of history.

Now, 28 years later, a new generation with the same passion for "change" has rejected the GOP based on many of the same concerns that led me to the voting booth 28 years ago: The economy, fears about the future, concern about world politics, etc. Though I have concerns with some of President-Elect Obama's policy recommendations, I have to respect that the voters have selected him based on motives as sincere as mine were. I plan to heed McCain and Obama's call for unity because that is the fundamental ideal of our political system.

From a personal perspective, I awoke this morning to find that I had received 141,109 votes in my uncontested race for Seat 4 on the Board of Trustees of the College of Western Idaho. 141,109 people! Most legislators in Idaho -- even popular ones -- received less than 40,000 votes. It was odd to see my name on the ballot, and seems surreal to know that many people voted for me. Of course, I will second guess the 1,400 plus write-ins against me (though some friends indicate they wrote in my wife who admittedly is much smarter than I am). I suppose it's the proverbial "why didn't they like" me lament!

On the CWI Board, I will join two incumbent friends (Guy Hurlbutt and MC Niland) in welcoming our two new members Tammy Ray and Stan Bastian.

Canyon » 39627 Ada » 101482 Total » 141109

Lessons From Vacation

2008-10-31T15:27:00.000-06:00

We returned safely on Tuesday from our family vacation in San Diego after having a wonderful time. I took away several lessons from the trip:

1. It is great to go to major amusement parks during the off season. We rarely stood in line.

2. Legoland was Ethan's favorite because, though he loved the San Diego Zoo and Sea World, Legoland is built for kids his age right down to the urinals!

3. Legoland does not serve beer while Seaworld and the Zoo do. It would be fun to contemplate whether or not Legoland's low urinals for kids and the lack of beer are related, but I digress.

4. Even though I'm an experienced traveler and negotiating traffic has never been a problem for me (not to mention, having the Pacific Ocean on the left -West - and mountains on the right -East -made directions easy), my last minute decision to pony up 9 bucks a day for a dashboard navigation system in the rental car was well worth it.

5. We would plan one day of down time for the pool or the beach rather than packing in three major amusement parks in three days. Ethan and Heather were troopers, but....still....it was a lot to ask especially for a 3.5 year old whose legs, while reaching the magic 42" marker for many rides (unless they made him remove his baseball cap of course), make keeping up with grown ups kind of tough.

6. At the end of the day -- or three days in this case -- Ethan may have enjoyed playing in a sandbox as much as anything else he experienced.

And so it goes.

Sea World!

2008-10-26T20:44:00.000-06:00

Today, we spent the entire day at Sea World after Ethan woke up unusually early (about 6:45 am!). By the time we left later in the day, he'd been awake almost 12 hours which is a record for him. We saw multiple animals, he got to hold a starfish (but refused to pet a stingray because it was slimy), and ended up at the end of the day playing in a large sandbox with dump trucks and bulldozers. Yes, we travel over 1,000 miles, get to see whales and seals and dolphins, and he ends his Sea World experience much like he spends a day in Boise: Playing with construction equipment! He had fun at the whale show but was disappointed we didn't get splashed. Mom and Dad weren't! Off to Lego Land tomorrow!

Lions, Tigers, and Bears! Oh My!

2008-10-26T09:38:00.000-06:00

We are having our first real family vacation this weekend in San Diego, and we spent hours yesterday at the famous San Diego Zoo racing from one animal to another with Ethan exclaiming "Wow!" at almost every one. He said he enjoyed the penguins (we didn't see any...), and the pandas were kinda boring. He really did enjoy the bears, the bus ride, the sky car ride, and the reptiles. We're off to Sea World today!

Getting Older

2008-10-23T16:43:00.001-06:00

My brother Dan turns 58 today, and my brother Steve turned 56 yesterday. How did that happen? I still think of the four of us as the young "Dunham Brothers" who could conquer the world. In some respects, the years have been kind. We are all relatively healthy, happy, and successful. There have been disappointments through the years, and the loss of our father too early continues to be painful 15 years after he died. But, it's been a good life for all of us. When I look at us now, I still see us when we were young. The graying hair (and in my case, the thinning graying hair), the wrinkles, etc. aren't really visible to me. But, calling my brothers to say "happy birthday" and realizing they are in their late 50's seems unbelievable to me.

I'm Running For Public Office!

2008-10-23T16:28:00.000-06:00

I never aspired to public office. Having been a professional lobbyist and Political Action Committee "guy" since 1984, the prospect of being on the other side of the table should send shudders down my spine. However, here I am as a candidate for elective office in an election to be held November 4, 2008...a date most pundits suggest is the "most important election of our time" though its importance has nothing to do with me frankly. I am grateful to be unopposed in my election to serve a four-year term on the Board of Trustees of the relatively new College of Western Idaho.

I am often amazed at the naivete and/or ignorance of voters in general, and I have frankly been even more incredulous that many people I know don't realize that:

1. There IS a college in the Treasure Valley, and

2. that Trustees have to run for election.

In Idaho, a state with about 1.3 million people, the most challenging elections from a "numbers game" would be a statewide race or a congressional district. Next to one of those, running for the CWI Board encompasses the largest potential block of voters in Idaho! The two most populous counties (Ada and Canyon) with a combined population of perhaps 600,000 people votes at large in this election. What can the Trustees do? Make a considerable difference in the future of the valley through education, work force training, and economic development which seem especially critical at this juncture when the economy may be faltering. Cynically, some suggest our major role is to impose property taxes on the public which is an unfortunately short-sighted view.

I am also disappointed in the media for the most part for missing the importance of this election. The Idaho Press Tribune is an admirable exception to this because they have covered the races in Board elections carefully, interviewed candidates, hosted candidate forums, posted information on their website. The rest of the media has been indifferent at best. If you are interested in this election and want to learn more about the candidates for the Board of Trustees, you should visit the Idaho Press Tribune at: http://www.idahopress.com/elections/

I'm actually enjoying part of the process which is talking to people about the college. But, I have it easy....I'm unopposed!

You're a big boy Daddy!

2008-10-19T07:27:00.000-06:00

The other day, Heather took Ethan to get a flu shot. I've tried to make all of his doctor appointments especially those when a shot is given. I will never forget the look of shock and betrayal on his face (right before the screams erupted) during the awful series of immunizations early in his life. One of those visits was complicated when the "nurse" cut his toe with the needle resulting in two bandages and a continuing distrust of that woman. I wasn't able to go the other day, however, and Heather reports Ethan was brave. Whenever he falls or somehow hurts himself, he instantly tells me "I'm OK Daddy." He did the same when I got home that night though he told me his leg hurt a bit as he showed me his Scooby Doo bandage. Heather reports that he ran around for a couple hours that afternoon but sometimes limped -- mainly when she asked how his leg was. Feeling bad about missing out on being there to support him as he got this shot, I told Ethan I would be getting a flu shot myself soon. I asked him if he would go with me and hold my hand to make me feel better. He looked at me with wide green eyes, and said, "You're a big boy Daddy! You shouldn't cry."

Shoshone Falls

2008-10-07T19:18:00.001-06:00

Over 40 years ago, I visited Shoshone Falls outside my home town, Twin Falls, Idaho with my mom and my grandmother. I have a vivid memory of my mother slowly and nervously driving up the narrow steep grade that lacked a guard rail. Standing on the front seat between her and my grandmother (no car seat requirements in 1964!), I said "Uh Oh! I think we're having an accident!" My grandmother recounted that visit and comment for years afterward. Now, all these years later I took my son and my mother back down that same grade which hasn't improved much. Nor has Mom's attitude which was white-knuckled and characterized by small gasps of fear. Somethings never change. Shoshone Falls is still breath taking, and my mom still hates going there. Ethan loved it!

The Torch Is Passing....

2008-09-28T16:26:00.000-06:00

The other night, friends had a small party -- a going away to Mexico party for themselves! -- and they invited the "old gang" which includes two of us who had kids about three and four years ago. Ethan Dunham and AJ LaBeau spent some time in a hot tub that night despite the chilly evening, and it was hard not to reflect on the years their parents spent in that same hot tub at other parties, listening to "70's Saturday Night," drinking too many beers, laughing, and not thinking about getting older. Nice the torch is passing to a new generation in that same hot tub.

"You Need A Nap!"

2008-09-18T09:58:00.000-06:00

The other day, Heather wouldn't let Ethan do something which made him "angry" as he put it. He turned to her and exclaimed in his angry little voice "Mommy! You need a nap!"

"See you in 18 years"

2008-09-05T10:22:00.000-06:00

I've been attending the Idaho Governor's Cup in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho the past two days, and I'm flying home early because my 3.5 year old son starts soccer for the very first time tomorrow morning. I don't want to miss it. As I checked out of the hotel early this morning, many people expressed surprise, but Governor Otter said, "Good for you! You've got your priorities straight." I couldn't help but think of his comment when some friends with a toddler son waved goodbye in the hotel lobby saying "Here you go. Soccer is taking over. See you in 18 years." I've had several friends express disdain for even exposing their toddlers to soccer due to the parents' concern about their own schedule. I understand that feeling, and the prospect of chilly Autumn mornings watching a group of toddlers chase a ball is not my idea of fun. On the other hand, I want to give my boy every opportunity to develop a wide group of interests and opportunities. When my father was dying of cancer years ago -- long before I thought of having a child -- he gave me some good advice: "I spent so many years working too many hours because I thought that's what you did to provide for your family. But now I realize that by working too much for my family, I almost lost my family. Don't make that mistake." So, all these years later as I sit in an airport waiting to fly home to my family, I can't help but echo the Governor about my priorities. So...see you in 18 years! I'll be a better person for it.

Fires!

2008-08-27T08:00:00.001-06:00

"There but the grace of God" seems oddly appropriate in the aftermath of the devastating fire that raged through SE Boise the other day because 3417 was my home from 1989 through April of 1994. It burned to the ground and a young family expecting their first child lost everything they owned. I'm not sure why this has affected me so deeply. Perhaps because I lived there when my dad died, and the house had so many memories of him for me. Perhaps because it was a happy time in my life (other than Dad of course!) and I had many parties there. Perhaps because it makes you contemplate the "what if's." Sad, sad, sad.....

First Day of School Germs

2008-08-24T15:45:00.000-06:00

Last week week, Ethan started his second year of pre-school at the Boise State Univesity Children's Center. He's in Miss Reba's class, and he's enjoyed it so far. He starts soccer the first Saturday of September, and he's going to start a gymnastics class as well. We were reminded that school started because after two days in class, Ethan got sick and spent the weekend sleeping and getting sick. School = Germs!

Lizards!

2008-08-24T15:43:00.000-06:00

Heather found a tiny lizard on the back door screen the other day, and Ethan enjoyed taking care of him for a couple of days before we let him go in the backyard.

Out of the mouths....

2008-08-08T08:41:00.001-06:00

The old adage about "out of the mouths of babes" seems appropriate with the latest Ethan comments:

1. When declining to do something his mom said, Ethan responded "That would be a negative Ghost Rider."

2. Upon opening a new board game, Ethan excitedly asked his mom to "Read the erections Mommy!"

3. With the advent of a new school year in a few weeks, we've been trying to get Ethan prepared, but he's not excited. Heather told him he was very lucky to only be going three days a week because one of his friends goes everyday due to the parents both working full time. Ethan responded, "Well, you don't work, so why do I have to go?"

The Visit

2008-07-26T14:49:00.001-06:00

As noted in a previous post, Ethan is a bit lost now that his best
buddies moved away; however, the other day, Heather babysat the kids, and Ethan had a blast. When I asked him what he did, he exclaimed "We played, and played, and played Daddy!!" Not a bad way to spend the day when you're a kid.

Who Will I Play With?

2008-07-26T14:37:00.000-06:00

We didn't have Ethan go to school this summer because his friends in the neighborhood had the summer off. Unfortunately, over July 4th, his best buddy moved away (along with his buddy's sister who is the root of all evil according to the boys), and Ethan is now a bit lost. The new boy who moved into the neighboring house isn't friendly, and our neighbor girl down the street is busy with a visiting grandmother for the summer. So, Ethan has grown bored easily. He asked his mom the other day "Who will I play with?"

Grandma

2008-07-09T08:28:00.001-06:00

My only niece on my side of the family turns 30 today. Where did those years go? I remember what I ate the night before she was born. I remember that entire day vividly. Now, I have a son, and my niece just had a son of her own. Before he died, my father told me that his biggest regret was not living to see my children. Now, almost 15 years after his death, he has a grandson and a great grandson he will never see.

My mother now has two grandchildren (a 30 year old and a 3 year old....talk about pent-up Grandma demand!), and she has yet to meet her new great grandson because it's tough for her to get to Boise for many reasons. I've talked to friends about the sadness of watching their once-vibrant parents age, and my mother and my beloved step-father are growing older and more frail. My friends and I spend a lot of time helping our parents deal with the complexities of age and the resulting fears that seem rather insignificant to us but can overwhelm the elderly.

My mom and step-father live only two hours away, but the time and the miles seem much more daunting now that their lives are afflicted by the ravages of age such as macular degeneration, hearing loss, and an aching loneliness resulting from a big house and no visitors. We try to go there as much as possible because it's not fair to always expect them to drive to Boise to visit us. We are basically their only visitors which is sad. I'm committed to them being part of Ethan's life because the thread of life between generations is so important, and his grandparents will be gone before we know it.

Too often in life we say we're too busy to pause, visit, and respect our past which is our parents and grandparents. So, as my niece suddenly has left her own crib for that of her son in what seems to be a blink of my eye but is really a 30 year journey of her own, I also reflect on my mother through the years who has wanted nothing more than to love and be loved by her family.

Someday, when she's gone and all we have is memories, her love will be a lasting legacy I will pass on to Ethan. And that is what family is all about in the end.

Bungee Video

2008-06-29T18:57:00.000-06:00

Here's a video clip of Ethan enjoying himself in Squaw Valley, California. Don't tell Grandma about this one!

Bungee!

2008-06-29T18:55:00.000-06:00

We're attending a meeting at the Squaw Creek Resort near Squaw Valley in California, and while Mark's in meetings, Heather and Ethan enjoyed the kids' activities including a kind of bungee jumper which he loved!