NOT another stroke!

On May 28, 2013, I thought I was having another stroke. The last stroke happened on January 13, 2012. So, this was a massive shock. How could it happen again? Why? Why me? Again?

The day was normal, but I had an episode when I could not remember my last name. I could not read simple emails. I was so disappointed and terrified. My wonderful wife tried to reassure me even though she rushed to Saint Alphonsus Regional Medical Center in Boise

For a surreal 28 hours, I was at St. Al's undergoing tests. Pokes and prodded and given shots.

I had another MRI. Nope. That was not it which is great. During that 45 minute test, "I came back." Whatever happened, I recovered quickly.

Then, I had a "EEG" (electroencephalograph) measures brainwaves of different frequencies within the brain. Electrodes are placed on specific sites on the scalp to detect and record the electrical impulses within the brain. Negative. Also great.

So, what happened? It was not another stroke. It was not an aneurysm. It was not a seizure. So, this is great news! Basically, “it” was my strokes from last year healing.

But, if that is great news, why am I so nervous? That bad stroke happened at 5:00 am, and 17 months later, I was on the same floor…waiting to see if it might happen again. It did not.

Maybe, I am concerned that the stroke healing will continue in a bad way? Maybe, I am realizing that I might have another "issue."

One of the great nurses I met when my initial stroke happened 17 months ago was with me yesterday. She knows me. She looked in my eyes, and made me repeat that "I did NOT have a stroke or seizure! Repeat after me! I did NOT have a stroke or a seizure!”

In a nutshell, she told me something like this is "a pebble in the road of my recovery journey."

I realize all of that. "This is a long road" or "I have the opportunity for a second chance." Was yesterday a setback or was another opportunity? Two strokes in January last year, and “anomaly” yesterday? Or maybe, “three strikes and you are out?” Are these platitudes?

Rationally, I know that. But, this is my life and my reality. Should I be scared? Should I be prepared for the worst? So many “maybe’s....”

As I waited for the clock to strike 5:00 am, I thought about the book and movie "Love Story." The wife in the story died so young. Remember the first line of the book? "What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died? That she was beautiful and brilliant? That she loved Mozart and Bach, the Beatles."

If I die too early, what would people say about me? I love my wife, Heather, and my beloved son, Ethan, my brothers, the Beatles, my family and friends, mystery novels, old black and white movies, photography, pot roast, and Russian history?

My parents had the luxury to know that they were going to die. That is an odd statement, but they did not leave anything left unsaid. So, for me, what if it happens again? Is this a second or third chance for a wake-up call to prepare that what is inevitable?

17 months. January 13, 2012 and May 29, 2013. What is the next date for my journey? Should I be running from my fate and hiding or living life with gusto?

For me, this thought is raw considering the last 36 hours. So raw.

I will not run. I will live my live to the fullest. Scared? Yup. But I am so pissed off. God? Fate? Nothing? Whatever! I will beat this in some way.

I will prepare for the worst, but I will not give up.

As Admiral Farragut proclaimed, "Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!"

The Two Faces of the American Dream

The massive wave of Norwegian immigration to Minnesota from the 1850s through the early 20th century wasn't a casual choice; it was an escape from crushing land scarcity and economic desperation. My ancestors, the Dunhams, arrived in 1851 and built a life in Otter Tail County in Minnesota. My great-great-grandfather, Jens Christian Dunham, didn’t just survive—he thrived. He served in the Minnesota legislature as a Republican from 1888 to 1890 and later became a staunch advocate for President Teddy Roosevelt. He was the literal embodiment of the American Dream: an immigrant who fled poverty to become a lawmaker in his new home. Fast forward a century, and a new wave of immigrants—this time from Somalia—is following that exact same blueprint. Like the Norwegians before them, they fled hardship to build a future in Minnesota, and many have run for office to serve the state that welcomed them. Yet, the political rhetoric surrounding these two groups couldn't be more polarized. Don...

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I met with my eye doctor last week about taking some time off from my vision therapy. I have been doing therapy since my stroke almost two and a half years ago. I am tired, and a need a break. My doctor said, “This is completely understandable. Take some time off.” At the appointment, my doctor tested my vision. Because of the strokes, my vision was affected, and I have a problem in my field of vision on the right side. I have a deficit with my right side peripheral vision. However, it is getting better. During the test, I told him that I “sense things on the right side of my peripheral vision.” It seems that I know that something is there, but I cannot really distinguish what it is. He told me that there is a body of thought describing phantom vision or phantom blindness. A Polish researcher, L. Bieganowski, described this phantom blindness this way: “The subject of the paper is the phenomenon of phantom vision. It occurs among the blind (or almost blind...

Greek orthodox and Catholic‘s

Being a history buff, I’ve always understood that the Catholic Church was split in about 1000 A.D. Our Greek tour guide mentioned the differences a little bit yesterday, but she did not capture the full history. Today I saw a small Greek orthodox by the roadside and I’m going to insert about the history. Eastern Orthodox Catholics and Roman Catholics are the result of what is known as the East-West Schism (or Great Schism) of 1054, when medieval Christianity split into two branches. The Byzantine split with Roman Catholicism came about when Pope Leo III crowned Charlemagne, King of the Franks, as Holy Roman Emperor in 800. From the Byzantine viewpoint, this was a slap to the Eastern Emperor and the Byzantine Empire itself — an empire that had withstood barbarian invasions and upheld the faith for centuries. After Rome fell in 476, Byzantium was the only vestige of the Holy Roman Empire. Charlemagne’s crowning made the Byzantine Emperor redundant, and relations between the East and...

Dunham Family and My Stroke Story!

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