Skip to main content

Diminished Capacity and Communication

When you have a stroke, you need to rely on others for many things. Simple tasks are sometimes in insurmountable like tying a shoe, making dinner, personal hygiene, etc. 

When you have a stroke, people want to help you which is great though sometimes a stroke survivor needs to do things for themselves.

But sometimes, “people” who are most often the most close to you, seem to take for granted that survivors do recover and they have opinions which are real, well founded, rational, intelligent, and have value.

It is often the case that a survivor has to deal with well-meaning people – friends and family – who seem to believe that because an individual who had a stroke is less intelligent.  

When a survivor has a different opinion, it is easy for these people to say something like “well, he had a stroke you know, just humor him.” 

In the eyes of others, you are less than a real person….you have diminished capacity on all fronts. 

It a survivor objects about even mundane things, the people simply whisper that “before the stroke he would not have done this or that.”  When you have communication issues because of the stroke, it is especially because you just cannot find the words to make a point.  
 
When a survivor has to deal with this very real factor, it is hard to relate:  Is this because of the stroke? Are my different opinions valid?  Maybe I am not smart after all.  Maybe everyone is humoring me?

I have talked to so many survivors who have the same sentiments:  Take us seriously rather than taking us for granted.    


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Same as it ever was

When I had my two strokes more than 13 years ago, I was 50 years old. In the ensuing years I’ve had some health issues related to my strokes and other assorted “age related” things. In May of 2023, I was diagnosed with plantar fasciitis. As a result I have endured two years of pain and the resulting lack of exercise. That summer I tried to walk regularly but my heel pain was too extreme. I tried to do exercises to relieve the pain but nothing helped. In September of 2023 I asked my doctor to give me a shot of Cortizone. We were headed to Boston for meetings and then headed to Maine. I just wanted to enjoy the trip without pain. It helped a lot. Six months later I had the same pain. I went to an orthopedic doctor who prescribed minor physical therapy. It worked for a bit and then the pain got worse. In September of 2024, my regular doctor gave me another round of Cortizone shots so I could travel to Phoenix. It really helped. For a while. In February of 2025, the pain got worse. I went ...

January

January 10th was the 13th anniversary of my first stroke. After 18 days in the hospital (including my second massive stroke were I lost almost everything) we celebrated my son’s seventh birthday. I wanted to celebrate my son‘s birthday but I had no idea the sensory overload would cause. The flashing lights, the unbearable noise of the crowds and the music, and loud conversations caused me to panic. In the midst of my brain damaged confusion, I had to go to the bathroom. At that point I really didn’t know how to navigate the restaurant even though I had been there many times. I didn’t know the concept of letters and I didn’t know what “men” and “women” were on the doors. My little son gripped my hand and said, “Daddy… I will take you to the bathroom.” Stumbling through the crowded restaurant I was scared. My son guided me to the proper door and asked if I needed any more help. After I finished I came out and he grabbed my hand and took me back to the booth. In January this year, We cele...

Brain damage and social media

Recently I deactivated my Facebook account. I needed a time out to consider my options. There are so much vitriol in the political world and often it is spread by Donald Trump, MAGA, and Fox News. I understand that everybody has a different opinion. Even though I have been a Republican for decades, I cannot support nor understand Trump and his policies.  The reason I paused Facebook was for two instances where relatives of mine dismissed my concerns. I was disgusted when Trump pardoned all of the January 6th rioters. It was unconscionable for him to pardon people who assaulted and beat police officers. It’s ironic that the law and order party had no problems allowing police officers to be assaulted and beaten. Yet one of my relatives said that it was a peaceful protest and they should never have gone to jail. Another relative said that January 6 was staged like a Hollywood production. I was absolutely flabbergasted. Disgusting perspective.  In the midst of the confirmation bat...