Dunham Family and My Stroke Story!

The other night I was driving with our son, Ethan. Out of the blue my eight-year-old boy said, "Daddy are you ever going back to work again?" Startled, I said, "I just don't know. The stroke really did a number on me. I just do not know if I can work anymore. And that is sad for me."  He said, "Strokes really suck don't they, Dad?"  Then he said, "If you don't go back to work, what do you think you'll do every day?" When my dad retired at 53, it was very hard for him. His identity was wrapped in the fact that he worked at Buttrey Foods and before that the B&B in Kalispell, Montana. When Buttrey Foods "big wigs" told my dad that he would be "retired" (Actually it was a cost saving measure because his pension was getting too expensive for the company so they actually fired him), it was a major shock for him and our family. Dad started work delivering newspapers when he was about 10, a...

On a recent trip to Placerville, Idaho, we passed Lucky Peak Dam. The bottom of the dam there is a park called Sandy Point. Some of my best childhood memories are in this park. During the summer when my dad was working, my beloved friend Carolyn and her son Doug would go to the park on Wednesdays and Saturday. We didn't have a lot of money and this park was a cheap alternative. She would drive her old Cutlass or Buick station wagon, pack a lunch for us, and we would play in the water for hours and hours. Carolyn insisted that Doug and I would place her blanket near an overweight lady. In that way Carolyn would laugh and say “I will look good by comparison!” She would read magazines or books, play her portable radio, and watch as Doug and I would try to catch minnows and crawdads. Those are vivid memories for me, but we were driving to Heather's cabin, I told her that sometimes the memories are too sad for me. I said that it is ironic that my stroke did ...

On May 28, 2013, I thought I was having another stroke. The last stroke happened on January 13, 2012. So, this was a massive shock.  How could it happen again? Why? Why me? Again? The day was normal, but I had an episode when I could not remember my last name. I could not read simple emails. I was so disappointed and terrified.  My wonderful wife tried to reassure me even though she rushed to   Saint Alphonsus Regional Medical Center in Boise For a surreal 28 hours, I was at St. Al's undergoing tests. Pokes and prodded and given shots. I had another MRI. Nope. That was not it which is great. During that 45 minute test, "I came back." Whatever happened, I recovered quickly. Then, I had a "EEG" (electroencephalograph) measures brainwaves of different frequencies within the brain. Electrodes are placed on specific sites on the scalp to detect and record the electrical impulses within the brain. Negative. Also great. So, what happened? It was not another ...

Our son is so funny! This is  some random examples: Yesterday, my son would not pick up his clothes. I admonished him. Exasperated, he said, "Daddy, you are almost like a mom now. Stop it!" Ethan said, "Dad, you're quite a nerd." When Ethan wants to pass gas he yells "Dad! I'm going to crack one off!" When I won the Sacred Heart school board election I told Ethan that I just want to help. Ethan said "Dad! I think the stroke has affected your brain." And then he laughed and laughed. Today at the Y the attendant told Ethan "are you having fun with your grandpa?" Indignantly, Ethan said, "He is my dad!"  Ethan said "Dad. Let me introduce you to be quiet."  My son and I played darts last weekend. I beat him...a lot. Ethan said "Daddy, your stroke helped your game big time!"

I love movies. I've always loved movies. Some of my earliest memories were about movies. In Twin Falls there was an afternoon movie and after school sometimes I would watch old classic movies. When my mom had a day off at work, sometimes we would close the drapes,  make popcorn and watch old black and white movies. "Sorry, Wrong Number" was one of Mom's favorites!  My dad liked to go to drive-in movies. I have a great memory of Dad making corned beef and cabbage and then taking the stew to the drive-in movie! This way, he would enjoy the meal, his beer, and his Pall Malls…. When my stroke happened, I know that they were concerned about my comprehension. Could I watch a movie? Because I had trouble with reading -- still do -- could I follow plots characters, etc. because they believed that I had to have had memory losses because it's the severity of my stroke, would I be too frustrated to watch a movie or a TV show or news on television? In those...

I joined the YMCA a last week. Part of my recovery is that I need to exercise. I've never really been an exerciser, And through the years I joined several gyms. And then I would get busy and lazy and I didn't go. But a stroke gives a lot of incentive to work out. Literally it could be life or death. In the hospital every day they would make me exercise. At that point all of the sessions were for half an hour. I remember that they would tell me that I had to hop on one leg. That was scary! I could not balance at all. Then I would ride a stationary bike. The therapist would talk to me about my life. Because I couldn't talk almost at all, I was so frustrated! I have a full life! I have a son! I have a wonderful wife! I love my brothers! I am the director of a company dealing with construction! I am one of the trustees of the College of Western Idaho! But in those sessions I don't think the therapist really knew who I was because I couldn't talk. I was a cocoon trap...

When a stroke happens, it usually takes time to realize allthat is lost.  You have to deal with your recovery first: therapy, doctor’s appointments, family pressures (there is alot of pressures for caregivers and the stroke survivors), and health issues. At that time, you do not think about what your future holds other than getting better and short term financial pressures. What about disability insurance and social security? Do you have those resources? When my stroke happened, I was dazed and confused. My wife had to deal with all of that “stuff:” Taking care of me, my son, financials, appointments, etc. She was – and is – a god send. But, time passes. You get better every day. “Every day” is relative: I still cannot read and write very well, and I have moments of melancholy and depression. I struggle with my emotions sometimes, but that is understandable considering what happened to me.   When you emerge from your stroke, it goes in phases....