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Showing posts from September, 2019

Stoic and "getting my shit together."

Today was my annual check up with my neurologist. My strokes were more than seven years ago, and this annual checkup was “routine.” “Routine” is a subjective term to me. My routine has changed. My routine has to change to survive. I feel unsettled. I feel depressed. I haven’t done a blog post for months because I’m not sure what to write.  My wife recently told me that I “need to get my shit together.” My adolescent son wonders why dad is always angry. I told my neurologist about my depression. We had a blunt conversation about my medications. I really took any medications before my strokes. Today , to prevent strokes and seizures, I take many medications such as blood thinners and anti-seizure medications. In addition I was prescribed an antidepressant. “Why” you might ask? When you have a massive stroke and your life becomes a quagmire of grief, stress, and worry, I believe I have the right to be depressed. However, the medications I take are a delicate balance. The a