Monday, May 22, 2017

Friends and social directors

It is common to lose some relationships after a stroke. Some friends cannot deal with the “new” friend. Some friends are there in the beginning, yet life goes on. The old adage “out of sight and out of mind” is pretty relevant.

For the survivor, recovery is every day. For friends, they need to move on. For a survivor, sometimes a sense of paranoia sets in.  Especially when friends do not contact a survivor for weeks at a time. Is it because I am different? Is it because my “new me” is uncomfortable to the “friend?”

Five years after my strokes, I seem to be dwelling on what I perceive to be the loss of friendships.  Is it me or is it their lives?

I was the organizer of my social group for years. I was the one who would say “Let’s have dinner” or “see a movie” or “let’s have a BBQ.” Since my strokes, the sense of isolation is more palpable than ever.  

I did a little experiment. I have some really close friends who I decided not to contact until they reached out to me. Some of those friends were so close before my strokes. After strokes, they were “there” but different which is common. They certainly were there after the strokes, but five years later? Not sure.

My experiment was NOT to contact them via text, calls, or emails. I do understand they might have a perception that they do not want to bother me. However, some of these key friends would know better.

Therefore, I did not contact them. No political or friend “things.” No “how have you been doing?”

The result of my almost 6 month experiment? Nothing. Even for a work issue, nothing.

Like I wrote, in the old days before my strokes, I am the social director. Today, I do not have the energy and the mental and physical capacity to be the one to initiate common courtesy.  I am tired of being the "one."

For some of those “friends,” they are on my “Favorite” list on my iPhone. It was for emergency but also they were some of my “favorite friends.”

The other night, I simply wanted to have a beer with a buddy. On Saturday, I wanted to have a burger and laugh with friends.

I had no one to call.

A neighbor had a party recently. We were not invited until it was obvious that we were outside doing yard work. Sheepish apologies ensued.

It is not just me. My wife has the misfortune to be married to me.

Stroke is NOT contagious.

Is my victim hood? I am too paranoid?  Losing friends after strokes is common. Here is an article about this issue:

I do not know. Nevertheless, I am lonely. So. What do I do now? I do not know. My “favorite” list is diminishing in many ways.

Friday, May 12, 2017

Illusions of my old life

Recently, I had two “aha moments.” We went to a wedding two weeks ago for two classmates of mine. I met them when we were in junior high. It was the first time I have seen many of my classmates since my strokes. Second, my family was in McCall, Idaho for a science camp. It was the first time I was alone since my strokes.

The wedding was just wonderful. The bride and groom reconnected at our 20th class reunion. They dated ever since. The theme was “FINALLY!”  We are approaching our 40th class reunion in two years! It was so special for me to see “old” friends.

It was even more special that my best friend from junior and high school attended the wedding. He and his wife were so close to me even though college though he went to the Naval Academy and I went to Boise State.  The have now moved back to Idaho living near us. It seemed that the years melted away.

The most interesting aspect of the wedding was the reactions about “ME.” One classmate who I met in 7th grade hugged me and said, “I was devastated when I heard about your strokes. I assumed you would be a cripple. You look great! I still pray for you.”

A couple of classmates were even hesitant to approach me. It was almost like they did not want to hurt me.

The best part was just the hugs and the relief when they understood I was basically the old irreverent Mark.

The week in McCall was also so uplifting for me! The sense of complete independence was gave me such joy.

Though my classmates at the wedding assumed I was “back,” I will never be “back to normal.” When 20% of your brain is dead, something has to give!

Part of what I had to give up was a sense of complete security and the wisdom to be what I used to be.

EVERTHING I do has to be deliberate. My sense of direction, tying my shoes, using a knife without cutting myself, driving, using simple tools like a pair of needle nose pliers, carrying on a conversation at all, etc.

Everyday “things” that people take for granted..

This week was simply ordinary.

On Monday, I drove to Nampa for some college meetings. I asked a lot of questions. For hours!

On Tuesday, I had a doctor’s appointment in Boise and headed back to Nampa for another college meeting. After that, I took my mother-in-law to lunch for her 85th birthday.

On Wednesday, I attended a lunch downtown with 700 people. I talked to so many people, laughed, and hugged. Throughout the day, I did laundry. Then I had dinner with my brother-in-law. It was a great night and we talked about a lot of things. Just a typical conversation.

Thursday was my day of “rest.” I had a nice lunch with a friend of mine. Scrubbed toilets, vacuumed, watered our flowers and the neighbor’s as well (for the whole week), etc. Last night a “tree guy” removed a tree damaged from the winter. I was with him for two hours. He is a very talkative guy!

This morning, I worked on college stuff, had several conversations about the college, and now I am typing this blog. Tonight, I will attend the CWI nurses “pinning” ceremony. On Saturday, I will be in front of about 7,000 people at the College of Western Idaho.

Seems pretty boring yet I also remember a doctor telling my wife and me that my stroke was so devastating you won’t really recover much.

Honestly, still have trouble remembering that I cannot be “Mark Dunham” again. The wedding and solitude this week were inspiring for me. Yet, I do accept that – despite my recovery –  I am damaged and sometimes I feel like a fraud. Living my life thinking I am my old self again.

My life seems to be like an illusion where people believe “Mark Dunham is back” nonetheless I smile, laugh, and silently say “you have no clue about my reality.” 

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Is Brain Injury to Blame?

There is a great organization called "BrainLine" which has resources and articles. I often read the information. Last week, a woman did a blog post about her husband's brain injury. For me, it hit me close to home. Here is the link: Here is the article:

There’s a lot I didn’t notice about my husband a few years ago – the way he moves his arms when he walks or holds his razor when he shaves, the way he organizes his wallet or sorts laundry or returns voicemails. For seven years, I just wasn’t paying attention to these things. My husband was a grown man leading an independent life. There was no need to observe his every move.

Then came brain injury. And every little thing TC did or said or forgot or struggled with suddenly went under my microscope. I was a probing scientist, and he was my subject. It’s something I remember being warned of at the beginning of my journey—before I was even sure TC had a shot at recovery. A friend in the community wisely remarked, “Abby, you’ll never look at your husband the same way again.”

It took me some time to learn what she meant – that brain injury would become the lens through which I viewed everything: our circumstances, our future, myself, and especially TC. I couldn’t have known back then how difficult it would be to see beyond the injury, to the man inside. After all, how can one reasonably separate a person from his or her brain? They are one in the same – person and personality.

The other day my husband got in a small fender bender on his way to the movie theater. Fortunately, everyone involved was fine, and the car suffered only a small amount of damage. My first question to TC, of course, was “What happened?” But even as he explained the whole ordeal, the confusing turn lanes, and the apologetic other driver, I realized the details didn’t matter. From the moment I heard the words “car accident,” I had already decided he was at fault.

Anytime in the past four years that TC has forgotten a task, misread a text, gotten lost driving, or made any kind of mistake, my mind has attributed it to brain injury. There have been days during our TBI journey, I would ask myself a hundred times over whether TC’s behavior was a reflection of the real TC or the consequence of his brain injury. He couldn’t do something as simple as picking out a button-down shirt without me wondering what part of his brain was responsible for that choice. And in the process, I’ve lost sight of two really important, explanatory facts: no one is perfect and all humans make mistakes.

Even if my husband hadn’t suffered a blow to the head in 2012, it’s incredibly likely that he would’ve misread Google Maps, forgotten to pay a bill, or even gotten in the wrong turn lane while driving at some point over the course of his life. Some aspects of his behavior – like his aphasia or propensity to fatigue – are clear hallmarks of brain injury. But not everything is.

As caregivers, we have to tread very delicately in interpreting our loved one’s behavior. When our default assumption is to blame brain injury, we run the risk of creating self-doubt in the survivor. Mistrust breeds mistrust. So, if we cannot trust our loved ones to make sound decisions, how can they trust themselves?

Pointing the finger at brain injury also creates conflict and feelings of defensiveness between caregivers and survivors. No one wants to live under the microscope all the time and I know I’ve frustrated TC with my inability to give him both space and the benefit of the doubt.

It’s tricky, of course, because sometimes brain injury is to blame. And sometimes the consequences of a simple mistake are significant, such as losing one’s medicine or forgetting to turn off the gas burner. I’ve had enough conversations with other caregivers to appreciate that brain injuries run the gamut of severity and that some survivors really do need 24/7 observation.

The best I can do in my own relationship is try to remember the philosophy that also guides my teaching life: avoid snap judgments. I’ve had many experiences teaching that one kid who always breaks the rules or stirs up trouble. And just when I think I can predict that child’s next move with certainty, he or she does something that humbly forces me to revise my thinking. Teaching, like caregiving, is hard work. 

Sometimes we get so bogged down in the small moment-to-moment decisions, that we become blind to the big picture. Just as kids and survivors err, so do we. And the fairest, kindest thing to do sometimes is to pause, ask questions, and remember our own human fallibility too.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Sensory Overload

I have not posted for a long time. Life is getting in the way. In a good way most of the time! I have joined many Facebook groups dealing with “brain attacks.” One of my favorites is the “TBI Life Coach.” I am posting this whole article because it is very helpful. For me anyway!  
Sensory Overload
Sensory over stimulation
Sensory over stimulation or 'Flooding' occurs after brain injury because the brain's 'filters' no longer work properly.
Sensory over stimulation or 'Flooding' occurs after brain injury because the brain's 'filters' no longer work properly. It is an exhaustive situation if more pieces of information or stimuli are received than the brain can handle. A stimulus is information that we perceive through our senses; see, hear, smell, taste, touch (external stimuli) or through our mind or our body / proprioception (internal stimuli).
In over stimulation feelings of panic can prevail upon the brain-injured. Our study showed that fear can be overcome if the person with brain injury has been exposed frequently to over stimulation.
The person may be sweating, have tremors, can be vomiting, and thinking is difficult.
These are the basic reactions of the body to survive in a situation that is perceived as very dangerous. It is also called the fight or flight response. One person is going to flee from the overstimulation of the noise or stimulus of the moment. The other person faints. Most of them cannot think anymore or are very upset first.
The basic emotion of fear and the ensuing responses are generated and directed by the amygdala. The amygdala is part of the oldest part of the brains, the limbic system. This system is a kind of emotional sentry. All that matters is survival. If there is danger, immediately adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol are released into the body to flight, fight or freeze.
At the same time, the neo-cortex, also called the rational mind, will stop the mind from thinking. Because, after all, in threatening situations there is no time to decide what the best plan of action will be.
A rapid response of the amygdala thus ensures that we can avoid the danger before we realize that we find ourselves in such a situation.
On this page you will find some videos about this problem.
Summary: By over stimulation people are no longer able to rationally deal with the situation. Fear can prevail and the amygdala creates a fight-flight-or freeze reaction. After brain injury the processing of stimuli is often disrupted.
This often gives a brain fatigue/neurofatigue.
It's not all in your head,flooding /sensory over stimulation can't be seen, unless sometimes in some individuals signs like sweating or a red head...or people think that you are in panic, for it reminds them in a way of that.
Overstimulation by sounds occurs in background noise where the sounds cannot be cut out. Not being able to follow a conversation with multiple sounds. Noise intolerance. Irritation in rhythmic sounds, ticking of a clock or buzzing fluorescent lighting. Shoe steps on a wooden staircase or wooden floor, squeaky doors, etc.
Many complaints are reminiscent of or equal to hyperacusis. Hypersensitivity to sound. Many people also experience pain in sound.
Sensory overstimulation occurs when seeing patterns or colors. Seeing a variety of nice stuff at home. Letters that are too close to each other with no blank lines. Seeing movements, seeing moving hands or people who wiggle their legs but also seeing a multitude of people. Seeing a multitude of some objects. Seeing details like prints, shades, bricks etc.
Even seeing unordered higgledy-piggledy or 'for sale' articles can give too much stimuli for the brain to see it in a shop. Like a bargain basement, not stacked shopping baskets, etc., etc.
Sensory overstimulation by light occurs in reflected light, in certain lights (halogen! fluorescent lighting!), Backlight or changes of shadow and light while driving, bright light, lots of light, flickering candles etc.
Notorious is car driving on a road where are many trees and low standing sun behind the trees.
Sensory overstimulation by feeling occurs in people who suffer from motion, touch, being moved, vibrations etc..
Sensory overstimulation by smell can come about by enhanced sense of smell and can include nature smells, food smells, natural odors, body odors, perfumes and deodorants (including nursing staff and caregivers!)
Chronic overstimulation
Chronic overstimulation is not healthy. It is pure stress.
The endocrine system changes (increased stress hormone level) and long-term chronic overstimulation also changes ones nervous system. Actually this can even make an individual more sensitive to overstimulation than he already was. Symptoms include physical symptoms like headaches, stomach problems, decreased resistance, disturbed sleep, extreme fatigue, or even depression, burnout or anxiety.
Our perception takes place by:
Vision - seeing
Auditory - hearing
Tactile sense - feeling
Olfactory sense - smelling
Taste - tasting
Nociception - sensation of pain
Thermoception - feeling of heat or cold
Sense of balance - balance
Proprioception - body awareness
Cognition – what we learn to know by the senses
Percieve (basic cognition *)
Attention and concentration (basic cognition)
Thinking (basic cognition)
Memory (basic cognition)
Applying knowledge (basic cognition)
Understand (basic cognition)
Language skills (basic cognition)
Assessing (metacognition)
Reasoning skills (metacognition)
Sense of reality (metacognition)
Emotion (social cognition)
Empathy (social cognition)
Practical language skills (social cognition)
Sensory overstimulation is caused by:
Damaged filtering
All stimuli, the important as well as the unimportant stimuli, enter with the same strength. They are not filtered.
Detour = Delay
When stimuli of brain cells need to be guided around brain injury this causes a delay in the perception. This is not only the case with focal, localized injury, but also with diffuse injury that is spread across the brains. It also takes longer to interpret the stimuli. That is one of the causes for a person with brain injury to be flooded by stimuli. This is also called delayed information processing.
There is an abundance of stimuli in idle mode which cannot be processed. Just like a PC that crashes through having a slow processor.
Fragmented perception
Many people with overstimulation by brain injury perceive every independent detail by hyper selection. It is difficult to see connections between details and to see, to oversee or to hear the whole.
This can occur both in the auditory and visual area. As long as there is one sound stimulus, the conversation is central and there is no music playing in the background, there is no problem with experiencing sound. However, in the case of buzz or loud noises in the background, the processing of auditory stimuli is not done properly.
This can also happen in the visual area. People cannot ignore details in the image. In the case of rain, they see each drop on the car's windscreen and the windscreen wiper. They see each individual in a group or every cobble on a cobblestone road.
Distorted processing can cause overstimulation
Hyperacusis - hear too much
Cerebral Visual Impairment CVI - double vision, seeing varying sharpness, depths may be huge or not, spaces may seem larger or smaller
Agnosia - not being able to recognize an object, a sound, smell etc.
Non-synchronous processing of stimuli in the brains. Signals do not enter the brain area synchronously.
Low frequency noise
Some people have problems with low frequency noise.

You may find these links useful…/sensory-overload-while-shoppi……/library_sensory_pr…

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Flooding and Toe Strokes

 Recently I discovered something called “flooding.” After a stroke, “flooding” is common. What is flooding? A great website explains what I still go through even after 5 years after my strokes:

“Sensory overload 'flooding' after brain injury: Can you imagine living in a world that sounded like a loud concert, the music is so loud that you can’t think straight –one concert that had strobe lights and spot lights shining on you; a world where everything seemed too “busy,” smelled really badly or made you feel uncomfortable in your own skin?  I can’t.  This is life for a person who suffers from sensory overload. Most of us don’t even notice half of what people with acquired brain injury hear.  Their brain is unable to filter it out.”

Many brain injury survivors experience sensory overload of the brain. 
·                       sounds
·                       sight
·                       light
·                       feeling, to be touched, move, moved, vibrations are felt
·                       odor (enhanced sense of smell)
·                       own thoughts
·                       multitude what is said or asked

I am actually pretty lucky. I can filter much noise in my head. Yet, I have now realized that I sometimes do have “Chronic overstimulation.”

This video is a wonderful explantion:

Here is another aspect:

"Chronic overstimulation is not healthy. It is pure stress."

For me, I realize if I do “too much” I pay a price. I get headaches. My speech gets worse as the day goes on.  If I concentrate a lot, keep track of conversations, lead meetings, or talk, by the afternoon, I am just done.

Sometimes, it takes me days and days to recover.

My schedule has been somewhat overwhelming for two weeks.

January 23rd: I attended a legislative hearing for the College of Western of Idaho where I am the Chairman of the Board. After that, I attended a two hour lunch with other college trustees throughout state. Then, I attended the Idaho State Senate Education hearing.

January 24th: I attended the Idaho House of Representative’s Education Committee hearing. Then, I had lunch with a friend where we discussed a wake for a friend who died.

January 25th: That day, I chaired the Idaho Aphasia Stroke Support Group in Meridian, Idaho. That is a regular meeting. However, I research topics and videos for our group. Everyday. Driving used to be second nature. Now, driving is a very conscious effort. Simple driving after results in headaches. Later that afternoon, I attended the American Heart Association board meeting.

January 26th: I attended an all-day Board Retreat for the Idaho Housing and Finance Association.

January 27th: I had a breakfast for the College of Western Idaho where I briefed a lobbyist about the college’s plans. It was also my son’s 12th birthday and also the anniversary of me being released from the hospital.  We went to Red Robin to celebrate. It was noisy!

January 28th: I went to my doctor’s office to get “blood work” done in preparation for a physical next week.  “Blood work” is not routine for me. I have “bad veins.”  It took almost 45 minutes and three techs to get enough blood for the tests.  I have bruises all over my arms now. That night, I was supposed to volunteer as our son’s school. Finally, I just could not cope. Too much stimulation and headaches. I could not attend.

January 30th: I had a great time seeing my brothers that morning. I talked about the problems we have been experiencing with our WiFi. For about a month, I have been rebooting the connection several times a day.

January 31st: I did my physical. As my doctor said, “Given you have a chronic illness and you are 55 five years old, you are doing remarkably well. “ I was startled when he reminded me that I have a ‘chronic illness.” I forget that most days.

I have had pain in my two big toes since Halloween. It is getting better. However, my big toes are still bruised. My doctor explained that my fibromuscular dysplasia could have been the reason. Fibromuscular dysplasia that reduces blood flow in the arteries that supply the arms and legs can cause pain, weakness, numbness, and tingling in the extremities and peripheral neuropathy. That condition caused my strokes!

In other words, perhaps I had a “toe stroke!” My words not his. I am fine!

And then, they needed more blood. MY BLOOD! Damn vampires.

February 1st:  I prepared for my Aphasia group but did not attend because I attended a proclamation ceremony for the American Heart Association where the Governor spoke. We discussed the 5th anniversary of my strokes. 

February 2nd: I had breakfast with a former lobbyist. Then, I went to the Apple Store to get help with my son’s iPhone. That took a lot of time. That night, I had to tell my son that most of his data was gone and I had to restore his phone over and over to get it to work. To say this was a stressful day was an understatement.

February 3rd: At 6:45, I arrived at the Idaho Capitol where I helped with the American Heart Association’s “Youth Lobby Day.” It was a rewarding yet stressful day.

February 4th: My brother-in-law and I went to Best Buy to bet a new internet router. He installed it. That afternoon, my family and I did a "staycation" where we spent a night in a new hotel in downtown Boise. We had dinner at a local restaurant. It was crowded and noisy. Too much for me!

February 6th: As the Chair of the College of Western Idaho, I participated at the "CWI Day at the Capitol." I talked with students, legislators, faculty, and the Governor. Then, I went home. Exhausted!

That is just two weeks. The sensory overload is almost palpable. Because of my discovery of “flooding,” I am trying to recognize my limits. Trying….     

Monday, January 9, 2017

Five years ago, my first stroke happened!

Five years ago today, I had my first stroke followed by a massive stroke three days later in the hospital. 

I did not even know my name and could not talk. 

Yet, today, I am flying to Seattle as the Chair of the College of Western Idaho talking about accreditation. 

Every stroke is different. My story is about hope, faith, perseverance, and love of family and friends. Never give up!

Here are some statistics about "Stroke in the United States:"

  • Stroke kills almost 130,000 Americans each year—that’s 1 out of every 20 deaths.1
  • On average, one American dies from stroke every 4 minutes.2
  • Every year, more than 795,000 people in the United States have a stroke.
  • About 610,000 of these are first or new strokes.
  • About 185,00 strokes—nearly one of four—are in people who have had a previous stroke.2
  • About 87% of all strokes are ischemic strokes, when blood flow to the brain is blocked.2
  • Stroke costs the United States an estimated $34 billion each year.2 This total includes the cost of health care services, medications to treat stroke, and missed days of work.
  • Stroke is a leading cause of serious long-term disability.2

Here is a video about my strokes:

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Internet Trolls, the College of Western Idaho, and public vs. private

Finally, "Social Media" has finally affected me “personally.”  The phenomena “Internet Trolls” has come to roost on my social media presence.  I use the term “personally” because my social media presence is public despite my efforts to make private. 

I am an elected official so NOTHING is private. I have found out that people lurk in the shadows on the Internet.

Years ago when the concept of the Internet was just a vague notion, I started to research the implications of the Web for my job.  As the CEO of the Idaho Association of REALTORS®, I was concerned yet pleased that the Internet could help my members.

I wanted to be ahead of the curve technology-wise to prepare my members what I knew would change the world of real estate forever.

About 20 years ago, I made a speech in Boise in front of about 400 Realtor® members about the advantages of using the Internet for their businesses.  I told the members that I searched for a house on the Internet and then bought it using the services of a REALTOR®. Many members’ actually booed me! Some members asked the Executive Committee to fire me.  People do not like change!

I personally designed the first Idaho Association of REALTORS® website using a now defunct program called “Microsoft Frontpage.” I did the webpage using an archaic computer set in my living room. I knew we had to be "cutting edge" at the association.  For my members’ it was successful.

I encouraged my members to buy their “domain names” NOW!

The National Association of REALTORS® also embraced that change. “REALTOR.COM” is the result. It is the premier real estate website on the planet. Members who embraced the Internet and technology became even more successful.

At the advent of social media, I also realized that members would need to ready. As this stage of my career, I was the Director of the Associated General Contractors. My predecessor at the Idaho AGC was on the forefront of the “Internet Plan Room” where members could have access to plans and spec to help their business.

At an AGC Executive Directors’ meeting, we discussed the benefits of social media like Facebook and Twitter.  I encouraged my members to embrace this new-fangled “thing.” I set up the first AGC Twitter feed to let my members get news quickly.

All of the while, as I was trying to help members prepare for this new world, I embraced personally as well. 

When I bought the domain names for the various iteration of “Idaho Association of REALTORS® in about 1998, I bought “” I have not used it yet, but I will. If you go to “” nothing will appear. As some point, I will have a webpage about strokes, aphasia, and possibilities.

With Facebook and Twitter, I also joined.  For Facebook, it was to help plan a class reunion. I sincerely enjoyed the experience of reconnecting with old childhood friends. I still do.

Likewise, Twitter was a useful tool for me to get news. After my strokes, a 140 character news feed was all I could handle.

I used my blog to announce my candidacy for another term on the Board of the College of Western Idaho. 

Yet, there are downsides to technology.

I have always understood that the Internet is a useful tool.

When legislators started to “Friend me” on Facebook and follow me on Twitter, I felt a responsibility to be careful. People do NOT care if this is my personal social media profile. I completely understood that “people” would not distinguish my personal social media presence and my public status.

Candidly, I also used Facebook and Twitter to keep track of elected officials (and others like lobbyists, reporters, etc.) for self-defense. I would “friend” people to monitor their plans on social media.

It became even more important when I became an elected official. As a Trustee of the College of Western Idaho, I realized the blurring of the lines between my personal social media profile and the College’s identity would be null and void. When “Mark Dunham” posts something on my “personal” social media pages, people notice.

When I was employed, I assumed that my employers could check on my social media. Therefore, I made sure that my social media presence would not hurt my companies I represented especially because I was a high profile lobbyist. I would have been fired otherwise.

No one cares and no one distinguishes the difference.

Therefore, when I post something on my personal social media pages, I realize that the general public knows I am a publicly elected official representing 10 counties in Idaho. I realize that my public statements matter to students, our administration, fellow elected officials, taxpayers, potential donors, reporters, our faculty, CWI staff, and businesses.  

I have often not taken my own advice. Despite my best efforts, I have posted political things on my “personal” Facebook and Twitter feeds. And people notice! Newspapers’ notice.  I have been rebuked and chastised. It is not some much the words I use. Rather, for the general public, I am one of the “faces” of the College of Western Idaho.

There is nothing “personal” when you represent constituencies.

As a result, I try to be careful when I post. I try to make sure I know who wants to “be my friend on Facebook” or follow me on Twitter. It is rare for me to decline those requests.  Off and on, I have tried to purge my lists. Nevertheless, it seems that I get “Friend requests” a lot.

At the same time, the arrival of email started to be a convenient communication mechanism. It was cheap and effective.

But, like social media platforms, email is fraught with risks. One simple like on the button can change a career. One email can destroy much.

Recently, I was concerned about a colleagues’ social media presence. Breaking my own rule, I commented. The reaction was swift and angry. I deleted that post, yet the damage is done. Private messages spewed forth giving me a firsthand account about “trolling.”

Therefore, I did announce that I am taking a break on social media for a time. In reality, I am purging “Mark Dunham’s followers,” and delving into Facebook and Twitter privacy settings.

I am going back to the beginning on my social media platforms. Classmates, “real friends” from my varied careers, our son’s school contacts, relatives, some neighborhood Facebook groups, politico’s I like, and others. So far, I have deleted more than 500 “friends and followers.” I will be more selective when I get “invites.” I will be sparing on any social media posts.

And finally, I will continue to adhere to my social media philosophy that the Internet is forever, and, as an elected official, I have a duty to not harm those who I am responsible for.  

I believe that the Internet is “out there” and you cannot take back your words and posts. Therefore, I try to be careful simply because my words have ramifications beyond my “private” posts.