Dunham Family and My Stroke Story!

Last week, my son and I went to the barber. While I was waiting for my son, I noticed the barber had an old Beauty School text book. It was the same book my mom used when she went to Beauty School when she was studying for her cosmetology license. It was a 9 month program. That 9 month program changed our life. During that period (late 1969 thru 1970), my parents got divorced, my dad moved to Boise, and mom remarried. To say that the 9 month period was tumultuous is an understatement. I was 8 years old.       Years later, when I was in college, I took a course called “Women in History.” My professor asked the students to do an “oral history” about some woman. I chose my mother, Faye Marlene Bailey Dunham Brown. Her real first name was “Joy,” and I entitled my oral history about Mom “ Pools of Sorrow, Waves of Joy.” My mom's life was “ Pools of Sorrow, Waves of Joy.” It seemed fitting that her real name was “Joy.” The title refers to a  B...

Memorial Day is a holiday whose origins are not clear anymore. Memorial Day is a federal holiday in the United States for remembering the people who died while serving in the country's armed forces. However, today's citizens celebrate the "beginning of summer" not honoring military service. People BBQ, drink, gather with family and friends, and get their first sunburn. It is the American ritual. T his year on  Memorial Day , two families were beset by tragedies. One person I barely knew. The other person, I never knew at all. But, our three stories are entwined.   Years ago, I went to college with a man I knew slightly. We would pass in the hallway and say “hello.” I kind of forgot him other than a vague memory. We reconnected of Facebook, and we would “like” things about our families.  On Facebook, we would say “we should have lunch. Soon.”  He died of a heart attack on Memorial Day. He was 55 years old. He was a year ol...

Yesterday, my wife flew to the Grand Canyon with her mother and a sister. That is a red letter day for the Dunham's. This is the first time since my strokes 3 and a half years ago that I am alone with the responsibility to take care of our son. My wife is a saint. When my strokes happened, she took charge. She handled every minute detail, keeping visitors at bay, juggling a scared 6 year old boy with little help, and dealing with a barrage of people wanting any and all news.  Dunham's in the hospital: January 27, 2012 After my strokes and when I came home from the hospital after 18 days, she had to continue a hectic pace. Reassuring everyone including me that I would be OK even when she wasn't sure. She had to drive me to countless appointments and have a semblance of a "normal" life for our son.   I cannot imagine what her life was like. People keep saying that I was so strong. SHE was the strong one. When people cried about me, SHE was the shoulde...

On Saturday, May 16, 2015, I am walking in the Treasure Valley Heart Walk. I am walking because I can. The fact that I can walk at all is a miracle considering I had two strokes in January of 2012. I had a torn carotid artery. The second stroke happened in the hospital, and it was massive. I lost 20% of my brain. I lost all communication, have aphasia, apraxia, and I could not even remember my own name. Yet, I was lucky. Here are some statistics about strokes in the United States: ·                   Stroke kills almost 130,000 Americans each year— that’s 1 out of every 20 deaths. ·                   On average, one American dies from stroke every 4 minutes. ·                   Every year, more than 795,000 people in t...

The other day, I was talking with my 10 year old son about my childhood. He is getting more mature. The nuances of life make him ask questions about my life and our ancestors. He asked about when I was 10 years old like him. “Where did you live? What did you do every day? Who were your friends? What were your interests?” He does have some information, but now he genuinely wants to know. During the drive, I drove him past my dad’s mobile home. “Your dad lived there?” he said surprised.   “Yup,” I replied.  Mark and Stan Dunham! New Mobile Home in 1971 When I was 8 years old, my parents got divorced. We were in Twin Falls, Idaho, but my dad moved to Boise after that because he get a job promotion. Your Grandma remarried and we lived in Twin Falls. However, my dad bought a mobile home. At the point, that was all he could afford.” My son asked, “Did you see your dad much.” I said, “After the divorce, I actually had a much closer relationship thi...

After my strokes three years ago, I remember one of my many doctors and/or therapists saying something like “If you had to have a stroke, you are much better off than if it happened even a  decade ago.” There have been so many advances in stroke and aphasia rehab. Rather than stroke survivors not getting intense rehab, many stroke survivors did not have a lot of hope. Sit on the couch! I do remember one doctors telling my family and me that my second stroke was so severe I probably could not do much. “Them are fightin’ words!” In the 80% of my brain that is left, I continue with my recovery. The biggest problem is aphasia. I have blogged about it probably too much. For example: When I wrote this word “probably” I  actually wrote “problely.” I knew it was not correct. In my head, I was trying to type “probably.” Nevertheless, I typed “problely.” The very useful Microsoft Word tool suggested “ potbelly” instead.  So, I cheated and used “Siri” on my iP...

I love the show “The Big Bang Theory.” I never watched the show until I was it in the hospital after my strokes. Now it is my favorite show. I love the character of  Dr. Sheldon Cooper who has no filters. He said things that I wish I could say. But, I have filters.  I went to a lunch a few days ago where a Congressman spoke. It was like old home week in some respects. I saw so many people from my different worlds: Political, medical, insurance, hospitals, lobbyists, housing, real estate, etc. Many people said things like “you do not seem like you had any medical issues” or “you look great.”  That is nice to hear. But, in actuality, because people know that I had a stroke (or two) and I have no visible disability, those same people think I am just fine and completely recovered. Invisible brain scars.... “Thank goodness you are fine now! So, what are you doing these days?” I smile and say, “Well, I am on some boards that keep me busy.” “Re...