Dunham Family and My Stroke Story!

By DAN POPKEY   — dpopkey@idahostatesman.com Two months after his second stroke, Mark Dunham did his first load of laundry, one of the uncountable small steps toward recovery. For his wife, Heather, it meant considerably more than other life skills Dunham was recapturing - putting on socks, using a pen or the business side of a knife, brushing his teeth. Arriving home to the sound of a running washer, Heather Dunham inquired: Did he set the water temperature? Yup. Load size? Check. Put in the dirty clothes? Affirmative. Add soap? "He looked at me with a straight face and said, 'Yeah, 15 cups. Is that too much?' " Conjuring a 1973 "Brady Bunch" skit where Bobby pours in a whole box of detergent and winds up buried in suds, Dunham had pulled off the joke.  "Mark is a smart-ass," his wife remembers, laughing with relief at the memory. "Right then, I knew he was back." Read more here: http://www.idahostatesman.com/2013/0...

When I was eight years old, my parents were divorced. It was a traumatic time for me and my family. For my dad, his world was turned upside down. His family gone and he moved to Boise from Twin Falls, Idaho. He started a new job. For six months he lived in a hotel and then he bought a mobile home. For my dad and me, our relationship changed dramatically. I didn't really know my dad until I was eight. Before that he worked all the time and when he wasn't working, the relationship with my mom and dad was caustic at best. After the divorce and when dad moved to Boise, he literally had to deal with me. We loved each other, but we were essentially strangers. But suddenly, he had a kid every other weekend that he had to entertain because of visitation rights. He did not have a clue about how to entertain eight-year-old boy. We watched a lot of TV and we went to a lot of drive-in movies. But we cherished those memories. He taught me a lot. He taught me ...

A stroke is instant.   You are fine and then you have a stroke. Bam! A life changed forever. Every person that has a stroke has their own issues. Some stroke survivors don't have too much to do to recover. Some, like me, it takes years to recover. "Recovery." A simple word filled with hope and heartbreak. Stroke survivors say two words often: "Before" and "after." Before my hobbies including included reading and cooking. After my stroke I could not read and I certainly could not cook. I thought I would never cook again. When I got out of the hospital and I was home, My home seems so foreign in some respects. I was grateful to be home, but I was so scared about everyday objects and chores. That first day at home, my wife and my brothers led me around our house. I wanted to go upstairs but that was a problem. Because of my vision my depth perception was off. Even now 15 months later I need to use a handrail. Heat...

My son is a character. He is funny, irreverent, sometimes sarcastic, and joyous. Sometimes I have to realize that he's only eight-year-old because he says things that makes him seem so much older. Last night we had ice cream. He complained about a ice cream headache. Ethan said "I have a brain freeze headache." I am responded saying "Ethan, that is not possible because that would assume that you have a brain!" Without missing a beat Ethan said "Dad. You assume that you have hair but your bald." Ouch! One time when we went to Red Robin -- of course. We were using the restroom. When Ethan was finishing washing and drying his hands, Ethan wiped the counter. Startled Ethan said "Oh my gosh! I am wiping the counter at a restaurant. I am a freak like my mom!" Ethan goes to a Catholic school Boise. He is in second grade and he goes to church every Friday morning. I told Ethan that we should start attending church on Sundays every ...

When my mother was dying she told me that I could make a difference by speaking about my stroke. The basis of my mother's belief was that I could do anything that I wanted to do and she knew that I made a presentation for aphasia group for Idaho State University. I was one of eight participants at that program. When I did my presentation, many people said that I should present it to different audiences. Mom knew about the ISU presentation and she encouraged me to do it again. Mom died in September. So in January at St. Al's stroke support group I did my presentation. My PowerPoint had many slides including a slide about how lonely a stroke is. That seemed to resonate for many people. Last week I did my presentation again in Caldwell, Idaho. I added one slide in my PowerPoint to detail about the impact for families. For my wife, in an instant, she had to do everything. Take care of me, my son, our finances, arranging doctors and therapies, etc. I have a lot of f...