Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Relevancy, getting back and giving back

On November 10, 2011, I wrote a blog post about sons and fathers. My son was six years old when I did that blog post.

Now he's nine.On November 10, 2011, I wrote about our son: "He  admonished me to get a different job such as a mechanic because they know how to do cool things, make lots of money, and don't have to travel."

Today, 2 3/4 years later, I am missing our son's first day of fourth grade at Sacred Heart school in Boise. I'm in Coeur d'Alene for meetings. 

I am missing him already.

It seems so normal. I hark back to when my son said I "should get a different job."
And here I am again. Is it worth it for me to strive so much to "get back" when I miss my son and my wife?

This morning, at that Idaho Governors Cup, Gov. Butch Otter sat down with me alone and asked how I was doing. His concern is so genuine. 

Six years ago at the Governors Cup in Coeur d'Alene, I left early to see my son's first soccer practice. When he checked out, I saw the governor hugged me and said, "That is what's important! Good For you!"

This week, several people expressed heart felt concerns for me even now. I am grateful and so many ways. 

But for the most part, most of these attendees think that I am just fine. After all, I am attending the Governors Cup representing thing the College of Western Idaho, laughing like I used to, traveling, and people say "Mark Dunham looks great (i.e. not paralyzed)! And his speech came back! Wow! He is really back! He seems so normal now."

My old normal self and my new normal self is completely different.

Seems it was eons ago when I wrote that post. So much has changed: Strokes, seizures, finances, disability, 20% of my brain is gone, the death of my parents, Aphasia and Apraxia, reading and vision issues, anger and depression but some serenity about my condition, and striving every day to "get back" and to make a difference in my family's life. I still try to make a difference in everybody's lives. I try to contribute many ways to help other people.

"Relevancy" in my career is different than relevancy see in life. Can I do it all? Time will tell.

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