Strokes: Is my recovery resignation or acceptance?

I went to a stroke support group this week and it was enlightening.

I have been going to that support group often on since my stroke 2 3/4 years ago. There are the "regulars." They are wonderful stroke survivors, and I have gotten to know them pretty well.

This week was different. The “regulars” (as I call them) shared their stories. However several new stroke survivors and their caregivers shared their compelling stories.

A woman in her mid-40s seems very normal. For the outside world, she seems "just fine" because of her outward appearance.

But after the meeting we talked about recovery possibilities and limitations. We both know how people treat us differently since our strokes. Because we look fine, people assume our recovery is complete. We are NOT complete. Until you have a stroke (or two like me!), people just cannot understand the emotions we go through in our daily lives.

Another new stroke survivor shared his emotional story. He is very successful and an alpha male. Like me, he was “in charge,” a leader and accomplished in every way.

However, since his stroke, the emotional toll he is experiencing is similar to mine. He is just getting used to his “new normal.” He needs help just to do basic life skills. You feel like you are less of a man in many ways. You never needed any help at all, and, out of the blue, you cannot do anything alone.

Two other recent stroke survivors, talked about their limitations and their depression.

The roads they are going on are difficult. Their journey is just starting and they had no idea their life would take this awful difficult turn. I'm grateful that my strokes are behind me even though I know I will never be the same.

But I've had almost 3 years to deal with the aftermath. The most recent stroke survivors are still dealing with the question of “why me?" Their anger is raw, palpable and understandable.

I'm not sure when I turned the corner realizing that I had to accept my strokes and get on with life. Is my emotional recovery after my strokes resignation or acceptance? Is there a difference?

I am hopeful that I can help with these recent stroke survivors. They are “survivors,” but they just don't know it yet.

Comments

Phantom Blindness and Taking a Break after Strokes

I met with my eye doctor last week about taking some time off from my vision therapy. I have been doing therapy since my stroke almost two and a half years ago. I am tired, and a need a break. My doctor said, “This is completely understandable. Take some time off.” At the appointment, my doctor tested my vision. Because of the strokes, my vision was affected, and I have a problem in my field of vision on the right side. I have a deficit with my right side peripheral vision. However, it is getting better. During the test, I told him that I “sense things on the right side of my peripheral vision.” It seems that I know that something is there, but I cannot really distinguish what it is. He told me that there is a body of thought describing phantom vision or phantom blindness. A Polish researcher, L. Bieganowski, described this phantom blindness this way: “The subject of the paper is the phenomenon of phantom vision. It occurs among the blind (or almost blind...

What is wrong with us! A lot: Aphasia, Apraxia, and Dysarthria

This morning, from 10:30 to Noon, at St. Lukes in Meridian Idaho, I participated in the “Aphasia, Apraxia, and Dysarthria Support Group” started a year ago through Idaho State University. We meet weekly. So, what is wrong with us? Aphasia is the name given to a collection of language disorders caused by damage to the brain. A requirement for a diagnosis of aphasia is that, prior to the illness or injury, the person's language skills were normal. The difficulties of people with aphasia can range from occasional trouble finding words to losing the ability to speak, read, or write, but does not affect intelligence. This also affects visual language such as sign language . The term "aphasia" implies a problem with one or more functions that are essential and specific to language function. It is not usually used when the language problem is a result of a more peripheral motor or sensory difficulty, such as paralysis affecting the speech muscles or a general hear...

January

January 10th was the 13th anniversary of my first stroke. After 18 days in the hospital (including my second massive stroke were I lost almost everything) we celebrated my son’s seventh birthday. I wanted to celebrate my son‘s birthday but I had no idea the sensory overload would cause. The flashing lights, the unbearable noise of the crowds and the music, and loud conversations caused me to panic. In the midst of my brain damaged confusion, I had to go to the bathroom. At that point I really didn’t know how to navigate the restaurant even though I had been there many times. I didn’t know the concept of letters and I didn’t know what “men” and “women” were on the doors. My little son gripped my hand and said, “Daddy… I will take you to the bathroom.” Stumbling through the crowded restaurant I was scared. My son guided me to the proper door and asked if I needed any more help. After I finished I came out and he grabbed my hand and took me back to the booth. In January this year, We cele...

Dunham Family and My Stroke Story!

Search This Blog