Strokes and vacations!

My “blog vacation” is over! In other words, my son is starting 5^th grade and now I have time to pursue my blog! Is that a good excuse? I do not know. I really needed to take a break and reflect about what has transpired in my life since my strokes.

And, I spent my summer enjoying my life, my recovery, and my family. I spent the summer with our son. I relish the everyday “things” that most people take for granted.

My son has always kept me going throughout the dark times when I just wanted to die because of my strokes almost 4 years ago. He gave me hope and a reason to live. I wanted to see him grow up. I wanted to witness the first days of school and the last days of school.

When our son started school, he went to the BSU Children Center. He progressed to Monroe Elementary for kindergarten. Now, it is in the 5^th Grade at Sacred Heart Catholic School in Boise.

It seems so long ago. I lifetime ago really.

When he started, I could not really attend his events. I rarely dropped him off or picked him up from school.

I was “busy.”

Life has a way of changing our perspective. Illness, strokes, death, and changes are the hallmarks of our life since he started to go to school.

Now that he is in the 5^th grade, I do count my blessings because I am “around” to see my son grow up into a wonderful kid.

I missed a lot of his school “stuff” because I was working and stressed.

In January of his 1^st Grade year, I had my strokes. My parents died 10 months later. I cannot imagine what he experienced.

I am 5 years old. Last year, we were robbed, and I am still scared.

I am 6 years old now. And now, Daddy is in the hospital. What is a stroke? Daddy cannot talk and cannot use his right arm now. He does not even know my name or his own name.

People whisper that Daddy will never be the same. Will he die?

I hate the hospital…the smells and the sounds. I do not want to see Daddy now.

Daddy comes home from the hospital on my 7^th birthday. We go to Red Robin, and I have to help my Daddy to go to the bathroom because he is so scared.

I am 7 years old.

I am so scared.

And now, I might have to change my school. I do not want to change.

Mom is trying to hide a lot my dad so I won't be worried. Why so many playdates?

At school, people whisper.

I do not want to be noticed.

Mom needs help. When she picks me up, other parents do not talk to us. Mom seems alone and sad.

I do not understand about money. What is "tuition?"

And now, my Grandma and Grandpa are sick and then they just died.

What is death?

Why is God doing this to me?

I just want my friends. I just want my life back. I want to be normal.

I want Daddy back.”

Fast forward and the 4 year anniversary of my strokes will be in January of 2016. In September, my parents will have been dead 3 years.

2012 was a devastating year for all. “Annus Horribilis.”

However, we are happy despite of all of “it.” When I get depressed, I just think of our son…our funny, goofy, smart, irreverent, and nice kid. I am grateful for him because he gave me a reason to live. Even now.

What is wrong with us! A lot: Aphasia, Apraxia, and Dysarthria

This morning, from 10:30 to Noon, at St. Lukes in Meridian Idaho, I participated in the “Aphasia, Apraxia, and Dysarthria Support Group” started a year ago through Idaho State University. We meet weekly. So, what is wrong with us? Aphasia is the name given to a collection of language disorders caused by damage to the brain. A requirement for a diagnosis of aphasia is that, prior to the illness or injury, the person's language skills were normal. The difficulties of people with aphasia can range from occasional trouble finding words to losing the ability to speak, read, or write, but does not affect intelligence. This also affects visual language such as sign language . The term "aphasia" implies a problem with one or more functions that are essential and specific to language function. It is not usually used when the language problem is a result of a more peripheral motor or sensory difficulty, such as paralysis affecting the speech muscles or a general hear...

Phantom Blindness and Taking a Break after Strokes

I met with my eye doctor last week about taking some time off from my vision therapy. I have been doing therapy since my stroke almost two and a half years ago. I am tired, and a need a break. My doctor said, “This is completely understandable. Take some time off.” At the appointment, my doctor tested my vision. Because of the strokes, my vision was affected, and I have a problem in my field of vision on the right side. I have a deficit with my right side peripheral vision. However, it is getting better. During the test, I told him that I “sense things on the right side of my peripheral vision.” It seems that I know that something is there, but I cannot really distinguish what it is. He told me that there is a body of thought describing phantom vision or phantom blindness. A Polish researcher, L. Bieganowski, described this phantom blindness this way: “The subject of the paper is the phenomenon of phantom vision. It occurs among the blind (or almost blind...

Anonymous Blogsphere and my strokes!

It is hard to believe that my strokes happened almost two and a half years ago. Sometimes, it is a distant reality. However, most of the time, this is a vivid and startling reality even now. When I wake up in the morning, I have to realize that this is NOT a dream. So, how am I doing? It depends. I continue to be grateful for my recovery. Every day, I know that it could have been so much worse. On the other hand, I still have invisible deficits. I participate in many stroke support groups because, until you have a stroke, no one can really understand the ramifications of strokes, recovery, and deficits. The National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute have insightful information about “Life After a Stroke.” Their website is http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/stroke/lifeafter.html The intro says “ The time it takes to recover from a stroke varies—it can take weeks, months, or even years. Some people recover fully, while others have long-term or lifelong...

Dunham Family and My Stroke Story!

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