The Myth of Sisyphus and strokes

When I was a child, my parents divorced, and my dad moved from Twin Falls, Idaho to Boise, Idaho. I think that I have travelled back and forth at least 500 times….maybe 1,000 times. A very small town called King Hill was about the midpoint.

King Hill was called “King Hill” I assume because there is a large plateau that resembles a crown. Maybe that was just my analysis. But, I always assumed that town was called King Hill because of the prominent plateau.

The concept of a therapy plateau was always a consideration. Even when I was in the hospital, the doctors and therapists cautioned me about that. At that point, I wondered about they were talking about. To have a plateau, it seems that you needed to start before you could plateau.

I thought a lot about King Hill because, in my head, I was so concerned that I was going to plateau. That desert plateau represented my journey.

One of my favorite books is “The Myth of Sisyphus.” Wikipedia describes the book in this way: “In the essay, Camus introduces his philosophy of the absurd: man's futile search for meaning, unity, and clarity in the face of an unintelligible world devoid of God and eternal truths or values. Does the realization of the absurd require suicide? Camus answers: "No. It requires revolt." He then outlines several approaches to the absurd life. The final chapter compares the absurdity of man's life with the situation of Sisyphus, a figure of Greek mythology who was condemned to repeat forever the same meaningless task of pushing a boulder up a mountain, only to see it roll down again. The essay concludes, "The struggle itself [...] is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy."

It the 20 months since my strokes happened, my journey has be hard…incredibly hard. I have been discouraged. I have thought about giving up. I have wondered what my life will be like in two years. Three? Ten?

But, when I thing about giving up, I just cannot do that. I have so much to live for. My wonderful son and my incredible wife who supports me in the dark moments when I wonder if this is all worth it. My brothers. How do I deserve such brothers. And my friends. Even when I wanted to give up, no one would allow me to wallow in self-pity.

So, in world, I could not give up even if I wanted to. Again, I have so much to live for, and I believe that my strokes happened for a reason. I am destined to help people with my story and give back in some way that I cannot fathom yet.

In the beginning with the strokes happened, my progress was incredible rapid. Through the months, my recovery has astounding even though some of the changes have been subtle , but the recovery is real and ongoing. I am still eager to “be done with it,” but my recovery will be ongoing throughout my life.

Sometimes, people ask me “are you plateaued?”

A very clinical definition of plateau is: “Termination of motor rehabilitation is often recommended as patients with cerebrovascular accident (CVA) become more chronic and/or when they fail to respond positively to motor rehabilitation (commonly termed a ‘plateau).”

I am not plateaued! I have started a new round of therapy called vision therapy. I have full and very busy life personally and professionally even though I do not really have a job other than therapy and trying to make a difference.

So, like Sisyphus, “The struggle itself [...] is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy."

I am happy and grateful.

Phantom Blindness and Taking a Break after Strokes

I met with my eye doctor last week about taking some time off from my vision therapy. I have been doing therapy since my stroke almost two and a half years ago. I am tired, and a need a break. My doctor said, “This is completely understandable. Take some time off.” At the appointment, my doctor tested my vision. Because of the strokes, my vision was affected, and I have a problem in my field of vision on the right side. I have a deficit with my right side peripheral vision. However, it is getting better. During the test, I told him that I “sense things on the right side of my peripheral vision.” It seems that I know that something is there, but I cannot really distinguish what it is. He told me that there is a body of thought describing phantom vision or phantom blindness. A Polish researcher, L. Bieganowski, described this phantom blindness this way: “The subject of the paper is the phenomenon of phantom vision. It occurs among the blind (or almost blind...

What is wrong with us! A lot: Aphasia, Apraxia, and Dysarthria

This morning, from 10:30 to Noon, at St. Lukes in Meridian Idaho, I participated in the “Aphasia, Apraxia, and Dysarthria Support Group” started a year ago through Idaho State University. We meet weekly. So, what is wrong with us? Aphasia is the name given to a collection of language disorders caused by damage to the brain. A requirement for a diagnosis of aphasia is that, prior to the illness or injury, the person's language skills were normal. The difficulties of people with aphasia can range from occasional trouble finding words to losing the ability to speak, read, or write, but does not affect intelligence. This also affects visual language such as sign language . The term "aphasia" implies a problem with one or more functions that are essential and specific to language function. It is not usually used when the language problem is a result of a more peripheral motor or sensory difficulty, such as paralysis affecting the speech muscles or a general hear...

January

January 10th was the 13th anniversary of my first stroke. After 18 days in the hospital (including my second massive stroke were I lost almost everything) we celebrated my son’s seventh birthday. I wanted to celebrate my son‘s birthday but I had no idea the sensory overload would cause. The flashing lights, the unbearable noise of the crowds and the music, and loud conversations caused me to panic. In the midst of my brain damaged confusion, I had to go to the bathroom. At that point I really didn’t know how to navigate the restaurant even though I had been there many times. I didn’t know the concept of letters and I didn’t know what “men” and “women” were on the doors. My little son gripped my hand and said, “Daddy… I will take you to the bathroom.” Stumbling through the crowded restaurant I was scared. My son guided me to the proper door and asked if I needed any more help. After I finished I came out and he grabbed my hand and took me back to the booth. In January this year, We cele...

Dunham Family and My Stroke Story!

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