Jack Nicholson starred in a movie called “As Good as It Gets.” It is hard to realize that you are getting older. When is the prime of your life? When health starts to fail, does it ever get any better?
When my strokes happened two years ago, I assumed I would get better. Though the severity of my strokes did not give me a lot of hope, I struggled to recover. My family was the incentive for me to persevere.
The other day, I saw a friend of mine who said, “You look fantastic!” That is great! But, in my head, I am not fantastic. It is very tough to deal with what I have lost. I have made a great recovery, but I know that I will never be the same again. I have to deal with that reality, and, for the most part, I have accepted my fate.
However, the old adage I am waiting for the other shoe to drop seems appropriate for me. When I get out of bed, I wonder if something will happen to me. The seizure two months ago set me back physically but also emotionally. I often wonder what will happen to me next.
After the seizure two months ago, I was prescribed Keppra, an anticonvulsant used in combination with other medications to treat seizure disorders. I hated the side effects. So, my neurologist suggested Dilantin as a substitute. The problem with Dilantin is it can affect liver functions. I have to take blood tests a lot as a result.
Several days ago, my neurologist was concerned about my latest liver tests. This morning, my neurologist put me back on Keppra out of fear that I am damaging my liver. I will wean off Dilantin.
I have to do blood draws every week for the duration. My arms are like an addict with tracks of needles because of blood draws!
My life it seems is “As Good as It Gets.” So far.