Dunham Family and My Stroke Story!

I started to blog in June of 2008 mainly as a sort of a diary to keep my memories of my son. I knew that time would pass to quickly. And it has. I wrote this post on June 18, 2008 with this photo: “Though Ethan is expressing his individuality and independence -- often proclaiming "I can do it myself" or "I need my privacy" or "I want to ride down the street alone," there are times when he is a daddy's boy and wants nothing more than to curl up in my lap. There's really nothing better than that, and I know the years will rush by. I'm enjoying these special moments as I can.” That sentiment has not changed despite the years. As he approaches his teen years, I relish the special moments we share. On Saturday, my son and I spent the day doing just stuff. We both got haircuts. Our wonderful barber mentioned that Ethan is getting taller every time he gets a haircut.  He is 12 years old and about 5’5”.  Of course we all laughed that his hairc...

I went to Burger King today, December 1, 2017. I had a "Whopper." Nothing happened. So, why do a blog post about it? Well, this was the first time I went to that specific Burger King on Overland and Orchard in Boise, ID since Christmas Eve in 1974. The difference is 15,683 days. On Christmas Eve Day in 1974, my brother took me to that Burger King. It was supposed to be a quick lunch because we are finishing last minute Christmas shopping. After that, we drove to our dad's house, the trouble started to "brew." In other words, both of us got food poisoning. It was a Whopper! I remember moaning for a couple of days. Our mother was the champion of grudges. I had a grudge against Burger King for decades. Nevertheless, it might be another 15,683 days for me to have another Whopper again. I am my mom's son after all. Grudges, food poisonings when you are 13 years old, and ruining my Christmas still reverberates through the years.

Today my wife and I had lunch at a popular restaurant. I asked the waiter where the restrooms were located. It seems pretty simple. I had an Instant flashback about when I could not go to the bathroom alone. When I got out of the hospital it was on my son’s 7th birthday. We went to a restaurant and my son took me to the restroom. I was scared. I had no concept signs or gender. My son guided me to the “men’s room.” Because of my aphasia, I did not even comprehend the alphabet, men’s, women’s, etc. Several months later, I went to a local restaurant. I was so confused and I went into the wrong restroom. I was so embarrassed and I didn’t tell my wife for several months. Three times, I peed in the sink rather than in the urinal. I only noticed when I realize that I was washing my hands where I just peed. Those early days after my strokes were humbling in general. Losing your sense of self is tough. Agonized about the embarrassment of not knowing how to go to the bathroom. It’s ...

In my career I used to travel all over the nation. Navigating airports, freeways and my hectic life was second nature. In October I had to travel three times. I went to the New York City, Denver and Las Vegas. It’s like my old days. And I do not miss it. Practically, the condition of Aphasia is difficult to understand. There are many types aphasia. Right after my strokes, looking at gates in airports stumped to me. For example, this photo of a random gate “B 18” seems relatively simple. However, aphasia manifests itself in different ways. “B 18” did not register in my brain first. I could not understand numbers or letters. Just symbols to me with no cognitive correlation. In addition, “B 18” could be unrecognizable for some aphasia survivors. Instead of seeing a letter and a number you might just see an unrecognizable distortion in your field of vision. I could not drive after my stroke for several reasons. My brain was in a fog and my reaction times made me too scared t...

Today I went to Saint Alphonsus Hospital have lunch with a fellow stroke survivor and two wonderful people who work at the hospital. One is a nurse and the other one is a speech therapist. Both of them are saints in my eyes. The speech therapist told me that a 35-year-old man just had a stroke and has aphasia like me. After lunch, we visited him with his speech therapist, his fiancé and his parents. His dad commented that he read a poster about me. I forgot that there is a poster of me on the rehab floor. The basic reason for the poster is to give people some hope. I agreed to do the poster just because I wanted to let people know that there’s always hope. Is fitting that I have lunch with a stroke survivor and his wife who visited me in my hospital room five and half years ago. I thought my life is over. They really comforted me during those dark days. He said that God has a plan for me and it might be giving hope to stroke survivors. And I agreed. We both talked about g...

Recently I got a new cell phone. Changing my phone led me to update a lot of information including contacts and “frequently called numbers.” On my phone I had several “ favorite” cell phone numbers. I had my my wife, my brothers, my sisters in law, and Heather’s relatives. But I also had several close friends that I used to call all of the time. We don’t call each other anymore. I just deleted those favorite numbers. It’s interesting when a life-changing event happens and your priorities change. I did add my son to my favorite list. That makes me feel old! I also updated my huge contact list. Honestly, there are many contacts who are dead. My contact list goes back at least 25 years. In addition to deleting those souls, I am deleting professional contacts that are not useful to me anymore. It is interesting to go through your past. Were they even worth it before my strokes? It’s all about priorities. Mine have changed.

For about three weeks I’ve had pretty severe headaches. Since my strokes 5 1/2 years ago, I’m pretty in tune with all aches and pains. In particular, when I get headaches I get pretty focused. Nevertheless, I just assumed that the headaches were caused by too much stress. The only thing that would take the pain away would be a Norco. And even that would basically dull the pain but not take it away. When I had my strokes, I had a very consistent pain. My left temple throbbed and I had right side vision auras. These recent headaches have been completely different. I would note the severity and the locations of these headaches just to make sure I wasn’t having another stroke. In those three weeks, I only had two days with no pain. At my Idaho Aphasia Support Group last Wednesday, I told the group about the headaches. I also told the group that my wife said many times that “ given your history of strokes and seizures don’t I think it would be wise to check it out?” I always respon...

Recently, somebody asked me what caused my strokes. It is a complicated answer. Therefore, I just say I had a "torn carotid artery dissection." In reality, I have a congenital condition called fibromuscular dysplasia. Essentially, the arteries in my head are weak and it gets worse when you get older. There is no cure however medication can control it through blood thinners. Here is the official article about it written by  Dr. Ido Weinberg who is Founder and Editor in Chief of the Angiologist.com. He is Assistant Professor of Medicine in Harvard Medical School and a Vascular Medicine doctor in Massachusetts General Hospital. He also holds a specialty in Medicine from the Hadassah Hebrew University Medical School: Fibromuscular dysplasia (also known as FMD) is a medical condition characterized by abnormal cell growth within the arterial wall. FMD is different from other blood vessel disorders that affect the arteries, such as atherosclerosis (blockage of arteries seco...

After my strokes, my right arm was very weak. I regained the strength and what tests have shown that both arms have the same strength.  Nevertheless, I have noticed recently that my right arm and especially my right pinky seem a little "off." I've also noticed that when I have seen pictures of me, my right arm is not straight and my right hand is almost clenched. It is not really noticeable until I think about it. However, it seems more apparent recently. Routinely I get acupuncture. Acupuncture has always helped me especially right after the strokes. My right arm was essentially just connected to my brain. I could move it but it did not seem like it was my arm. My acupuncturist helped reconnect my brain to my arm. This month I've had several appointments with my acupuncturist. He also has noticed that my muscles especially on my right shoulder are incredibly tense. He is focused on my right side and my pinky has gotten better. I wonder if this is "just in...

I have not written a blog post for several months. I just wanted to take a break and rethink my focus. When you have a stroke, it is very common that your emotions change. Some people get angry, too emotional, or paranoid. I think that paranoid is an interesting reaction. Recently, I've had to deal with some political backlash dealing with the College of Western Idaho which I chair. In addition, regarding my strokes, a few people have basically said "get over it." In a way, I lost my incentive to write because of there instances. On the other hand, perhaps I am paranoid and have a very thin skin. Another aspect is technology. My blog is a Google+ program. Google is not a user-friendly application. It took me months to delete an out dated blog. There's not a technical help support line. In addition, "Blogger" in the App Store not work for a while. I tried different versions to replace "Blogger," yet they never work out satisfactorily. T...

It is common to lose some relationships after a stroke. Some friends cannot deal with the “new” friend. Some friends are there in the beginning, yet life goes on. The old adage “out of sight and out of mind” is pretty relevant. For the survivor, recovery is every day. For friends, they need to move on. For a survivor, sometimes a sense of paranoia sets in.  Especially when friends do not contact a survivor for weeks at a time. Is it because I am different? Is it because my “new me” is uncomfortable to the “friend?” Five years after my strokes, I seem to be dwelling on what I perceive to be the loss of friendships.  Is it me or is it their lives? I was the organizer of my social group for years. I was the one who would say “Let’s have dinner” or “see a movie” or “let’s have a BBQ.” Since my strokes, the sense of isolation is more palpable than ever.   I did a little experiment. I have some really close friends who I decided not to contact until they reache...

Recently, I had two “aha moments.” We went to a wedding two weeks ago for two classmates of mine. I met them when we were in junior high. It was the first time I have seen many of my classmates since my strokes. Second, my family was in McCall, Idaho for a science camp. It was the first time I was alone since my strokes. The wedding was just wonderful. The bride and groom reconnected at our 20 th class reunion. They dated ever since. The theme was “FINALLY!”  We are approaching our 40 th class reunion in two years! It was so special for me to see “old” friends. It was even more special that my best friend from junior and high school attended the wedding. He and his wife were so close to me even though college though he went to the Naval Academy and I went to Boise State.  The have now moved back to Idaho living near us. It seemed that the years melted away. The most interesting aspect of the wedding was the reactions about “ME.” One classmate who I met in 7 th ...

There is a great organization  called "BrainLine" which has resources  and articles . I often read the information. Last week, a woman did a blog post about her husband's brain injury . For me, it hit me close to home. Here is the link:  http://www.brainline.org/content/2017/04/is-brain-injury-to-blame.html Here is the article: There’s a lot I didn’t notice about my husband a few years ago – the way he moves his arms when he walks or holds his razor when he shaves, the way he organizes his wallet or sorts laundry or returns voicemails. For seven years, I just wasn’t paying attention to these things. My husband was a grown man leading an independent life. There was no need to observe his every move. Then came brain injury. And every little thing TC did or said or forgot or struggled with suddenly went under my microscope. I was a probing scientist, and he was my subject. It’s something I remember being warned of at the beginning of my journey—before I was even sure ...

I have not posted for a long time. Life is getting in the way. In a good way most of the time! I have joined many Facebook groups dealing with “brain attacks.” One of my favorites is the “ TBI Life Coach. ” I am posting this whole article because it is very helpful. For me anyway!   Sensory Overload Sensory over stimulation Sensory over stimulation or 'Flooding' occurs after brain injury because the brain's 'filters' no longer work properly. Sensory over stimulation or 'Flooding' occurs after brain injury because the brain's 'filters' no longer work properly. It is an exhaustive situation if more pieces of information or stimuli are received than the brain can handle. A stimulus is information that we perceive through our senses; see, hear, smell, taste, touch (external stimuli) or through our mind or our body / proprioception (internal stimuli). In over stimulation feelings of panic can prevail upon the brain-injured. Our study showed ...

  Recently I discovered something called “flooding.” After a stroke, “flooding” is common. What is flooding? A great website explains what I still go through even after 5 years after my strokes : “Sensory overload 'flooding' after brain injury: Can you imagine living in a world that sounded like a loud concert, the music is so loud that you can’t think straight –one concert that had strobe lights and spot lights shining on you; a world where everything seemed too “busy,” smelled really badly or made you feel uncomfortable in your own skin?  I can’t.  This is life for a person who suffers from sensory overload. Most of us don’t even notice half of what people with acquired brain injury hear.  Their brain is unable to filter it out.” Many brain injury survivors experience sensory overload of the brain.  By: ·                         sounds · ...