Dunham Family and My Stroke Story!

Yesterday, I met a new stroke survivor. She wept. Her stroke was 2 months ago. She cannot speak well. She has aphasia. She has some paralysis. I met her at a stroke support group. I have often said that “Stroke survivors are an exclusive club that no one ever wants to join.”   Like it or not, she has joined our club. Her emotions are incredibly raw. At our group, all of our survivors tried to say “it will get better.” And it will. Nevertheless, we said it is OK to be pissed off and angry. “People” (in other words, non-stroke individuals) say things like “It’s God’s plan” or “This is your new reality.” The one that I detest the most is "my new normal." Really? Most survivors – if they can talk at all – respond to be polite:  “Well, excuse me! That advice really helps! Thank you! I never thought about that.” Inside our broken brains, we are saying “bullshit.”  You have NO idea what we go through every single day. New survivors are always t...

The results are in! I still have brain damage! However, the MRI and MRA procedures I had last Friday show that my brain images are just the same as a year ago. That is good news! The bad news is I still have neck pain since the rear-end collision I experienced last January. Despite PT, X-Rays, and very rough brain scans I have pain. In the hospital after my strokes, nurses posted a “pain scale” for me to describe my pain level. At that point, I needed the chart because I could not talk. During my PT because of the rear-ender, one of my therapists asked about my pain. I said, “In the hospital after my massive stroke, the doctor had to insert a port into my heart. That pain was a 10. It was awful!” The PT is helping. Nevertheless, I still get some sharp shooting pains. I sometimes wonder if the neck pain will just be there forever. I have also considered that I am getting older. Is the neck pain the result of the collision or being 55 years old? Years ago, my...

What is the age when you realize you are “middle aged?” According to “Dictionary.com,” the definition is   “ being of the age intermediate between youth and old age, roughly between 45 and 65.” I am 55 years old so I am in the middle of middle age. The other night, my son and I had dinner at a national chair restaurant. This was my first experience using my “Over 55+ Menu.” I laughed when I ordered. My son laughed too much I thought! “Dude,” I said, “You can walk home after you pay the bill yourself using my senior citizen's discount.” I really never thought about my age until my strokes happened. Sure, I was 50 years old, but my mortality was a distant concept. My strokes instantly made me feel old and vulnerable. When I got home from the hospital, though I could not “do math,” I tried to calculate milestones. What age will I be when my son graduates high school?  When will my 20 year life insurance policy end? When does my disability...

A hiatus from Facebook? A couple of days ago, I went into a convenience store. A clerk was telling another clerk, "today I'm going to do my annual Facebook check to see if I've missed anything for a year. Usually I never miss anything. I'll check it next year." The same day, one of my therapists said, "every once in a while I deactivate my Facebook account because I get tired of everything and clear my head.  I just want calmness in my life. I don't need to check in all the time."    A lot of social media is just blather. I'm thinking about heeding that sage advice. Perhaps, I need some serenity without social media blather. I get so tired of political rants and raves. I'm so tired of Obama, Hillary, and Trump apologists. So called "Progressives" and "Conservatives" are all the same now: Condescending arrogant talking heads. Al Sharpton, Rachel Maddow, Rush Limgaugh, Bill O'Reilly, etc. ar...

2012 was a horrific year for me: Two strokes, the death of my parents, and a beloved uncle.  When my mom was in the final stages of her life, Mom was pretty pragmatic about life and death. She died of ovarian cancer, and it was a ghastly fatal sentence. Mom, in the final days before she died, said, “I have had a great  life! I have had a wonderful life and 80 years of incredible health. Now, I will have about four months of shit.” She continued, “Mark, your strokes were devastating, but, your life is not over. I believe that God has a new purpose for you. Because of ‘Mark Dunham,’ you can use your stroke story to educate people. Maybe your strokes are a blessing in disguise.”    I think about her advice almost every day. During that awful year, there were many bright spots. I'm so happy to have the opportunity to see my son grow up! His First Communion was extra special.  I enjoy my family and friends even more now. I need ...

I am doing physical therapy for whiplash. In January, a guy rear-ended me and the resulting “pain in my neck” is causing problems in terms of pain and insurance complications. Next week, I will have an MRA and an MRI to see if something is wrong.  There is a concern because my strokes were caused by a torn carotid artery.   My latest physical therapist is just “cool.” Born in Sandpoint, Idaho, he is moving to Hawaii to practice there. When I asked what led him to move, he told me that it is almost a spiritual journey. He is studying himself and his place in the world. We talked about spiritually, the essence of being, and faith.   I told him that I am not a “church going guy,” though I have faith. It is perhaps not the Judeo-Christian faith that is the norm in “God fearing” tradition of my parents. I was baptized in three religions: Lutheran, Catholic, and Mormon. I find the traditional answers of those Judeo-Christian lacking. I do have faith, bu...

I started to do my blog years ago simply to record our son’s childhood.  Almost 8 years of memories. When I look back on some of my blog posts, it seems so unreal what has happened to our family.  Our son was a toddler and now his is 11 years old ending the 5 th grade. During those years, the focus of my blog had certainly changed because of my strokes. I never intended my blog to be about strokes, aphasia, etc. I realize that many of my posts are dark and perhaps too personal in nature. When I actually post my blog on social media, I realize because of my “blog traffic” means a lot of people read my blog. There is a certain responsibility when you understand that people read your stuff. In the old days, journals and diaries were pretty private. Now, blogs are “out there.”  Yet, I still include stark and real insights about my life. As an elected official, I have a sense of responsibility to be conscious about my views. I never want my post to reflec...