Skip to main content

Looney Tunes, my son, and my dad


When I was eight years old, my parents were divorced. It was a traumatic time for me and my family.

For my dad, his world was turned upside down. His family gone and he moved to Boise from Twin Falls, Idaho. He started a new job. For six months he lived in a hotel and then he bought a mobile home.

For my dad and me, our relationship changed dramatically. I didn't really know my dad until I was eight. Before that he worked all the time and when he wasn't working, the relationship with my mom and dad was caustic at best.

After the divorce and when dad moved to Boise, he literally had to deal with me. We loved each other, but we were essentially strangers.

But suddenly, he had a kid every other weekend that he had to entertain because of visitation rights.

He did not have a clue about how to entertain eight-year-old boy. We watched a lot of TV and we went to a lot of drive-in movies.

But we cherished those memories. He taught me a lot. He taught me to barbecue (Dad was a much better cook than Mom!), make wonderful scrambled eggs, enjoy old movies, a love history, respect our ancestors, a love of old cars, taught me to draw, and instilled  a love of politics. And he had an enviable wit.

When I started to drive, I would take my dad to Kalispell, Montana to visit family. Those were some of my best times with my dad. 

At 63 years old my dad was diagnosed with liver cancer. The death of parent is awful but I'm so glad I had time to spend with my dad when he was dying. Nothing was left unsaid. 

One night my dad told me that one of his biggest regrets was that he will never see my children. When he said that, he seemed to cry a little bit.

But there was no child in my horizon at that point. It wasn't until I was 43 that I had the experience to have a son. I often think about my dad wondering about a lot of things.

When my second stroke happened, I was carried through the hallways in the bowels of the hospital to have another brain scan. 

I just knew that my dad was there telling me that I would be okay. I don't know how I knew that but I had a vivid memory of that. And he had been dead almost 20 years.

Really my relationship with my dad started when I was eight years old. And it was a great relationship.

So now my son is eight years old. I think about my son and our relationship.
 
The stroke had to have affected him in so many ways that I don't really know yet. 

It took me several months to recover to the point that he would really talk to me. It helped that I could write a bike several months after the stroke.

Every day things mean a lot to me now because I realize how life is precious. I treasure the memories I'm making with my son.

This morning, my eight-year-old son crawled in my lap when he awoke. Ethan said, “Daddy, Can we watch cartoons together?"

My dad and I used to watch “Looney Tunes” all the time. And my son loves “Looney Tunes” also.

Is it coincidental that “Looney Tunes” helped repair the relationship with my father and it is helping repair my relationship with my son? The generational thing? I don't know.

My son, Ethan Stanford, was named after my dad, Stanford. I miss my dad.


Labels:

Comments

Anonymous said…
Previously, my mother because untreatment of hypertension, she get haemorhagee strokes, and after 8 year she pass away (2011), living good and even sad memory (as what strokes can do in disable people). Then I promise to try treat my father hypertension, by encouraging him to take daily anti hypertension pill and also learning what the symtomps is. He is so precious for me so I wont want him cripple by the stroke. But on Friday 8/April 2016 he get vertigo/dizzines and his blood pressure arise. I think it's just normal vertigo so treat him with vertigo medicine and adding anti hypertension pill in order to reduce the blood pressure, It works then he is going fine and I just check and control his blood pressure in normal range (plus adding the hypertension medicine). Planning to bring him to doctor on Monday for consultation (the vertigo). Saturday is happt day.But on Sunday 10/April/2016 suddenly he get another dizzy and numb in left part in his body. I directly take him to the ER and after check he get the infarct right lacunar strokes and now he stil conciuss but his left part body can not move. He is 83 year old and healthy and independent before. I am so devastated. In many year try to avoid same fate as my mother had (not aware of the hypertension danger), but now I miss the vertigo as the sign of early stroke that IF I AM AWARE I can directly take him to hospital. I am live in my biggest regret until now. Because my stupidity now his live wont be the same again...How I will forgive myself just ignoring the sign...
April 15, 2016 at 2:28 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What is wrong with us! A lot: Aphasia, Apraxia, and Dysarthria

This morning, from 10:30 to Noon, at St. Lukes in Meridian Idaho, I participated in the “Aphasia, Apraxia, and Dysarthria Support Group” started a year ago through Idaho State University. We meet weekly.  So, what is wrong with us? Aphasia is the name given to a collection of language disorders caused by damage to the brain. A requirement for a diagnosis of aphasia is that, prior to the illness or injury, the person's language skills were normal. The difficulties of people with aphasia can range from occasional trouble finding words to losing the ability to speak, read, or write, but does not affect intelligence. This also affects visual language such as sign language . The term "aphasia" implies a problem with one or more functions that are essential and specific to language function. It is not usually used when the language problem is a result of a more peripheral motor or sensory difficulty, such as paralysis affecting the speech muscles or a general hear...
Post a Comment
Read more

Phantom Blindness and Taking a Break after Strokes

I met with my eye doctor last week about taking some time off from my vision therapy. I have been doing therapy since my stroke almost two and a half years ago. I am tired, and a need a break. My doctor said, “This is completely understandable. Take some time off.” At the appointment, my doctor tested my vision. Because of the strokes, my vision was affected, and I have a problem in my field of vision on the right side. I have a deficit with my right side peripheral vision. However, it is getting better. During the test, I told him that I “sense things on the right side of my peripheral vision.” It seems that I know that something is there, but I cannot really distinguish what it is. He told me that there is a body of thought describing phantom vision or phantom blindness. A Polish researcher, L. Bieganowski, described this phantom blindness this way:    “The subject of the paper is the phenomenon of phantom vision. It occurs among the blind (or almost blind...
Post a Comment
Read more

Anonymous Blogsphere and my strokes!

It is hard to believe that my strokes happened almost two and a half years ago. Sometimes, it is a distant reality. However, most of the time, this is a vivid and startling reality even now. When I wake up in the morning, I have to realize that this is NOT a dream. So, how am I doing? It depends. I continue to be grateful for my recovery. Every day, I know that it could have been so much worse. On the other hand, I still have invisible deficits. I participate in many stroke support groups because, until you have a stroke, no one can really understand the ramifications of strokes, recovery, and deficits. The National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute have insightful information about “Life After a Stroke.” Their website is http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/stroke/lifeafter.html The intro says “ The time it takes to recover from a stroke varies—it can take weeks, months, or even years. Some people recover fully, while others have long-term or lifelong...
5 comments
Read more