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My life is Silent Lucidity

I had a vivid dream last night. A friend and a former coworker asked me to help him present information for new Idaho lobbyists. We were going to present together in a tag team format. That was a common occurrence in the “old days.”

However, when I woke up, it was back to reality.

I do not make presentations like that anymore. Because of my strokes and my aphasia, it is simply not possible for me to do what I loved doing before.

There is a song called “Silent Lucidity” from Queensryche. That song is haunting, and sometimes when I have dreams for some reason, I wake up and think of that song:

“Hush now don't you cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye You're lying safe in bed It was all a bad dream Spinning in your head”
“Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over or has it just begun?”


When I woke up from that lobbying dream, I was lying safe in bed. However, it was NOT a “bad dream.” It was wonderful because I was my “old normal self.” I miss that.

I was on the top of my game professionally. Testifying at the legislature was fun for me. I relished hostile legislators peppering me with hard questions. I would make speeches around the nation. Writing and speaking were second nature to me.

In the blink of an eye, January 10, 2012 at 5:00 am, it was gone with the strokes. Hopes and dreams were dashed -- with my courage to face life sometimes. 

So, when I dream, I am back to "normal." Safe dreams.

However, I am still eternally grateful for my life and my recovery. My motto is “it could be worse.” I do have a second – maybe third – chance in life. I love my family. But still, I miss my old dreams.

“Wide awake you face the day

Your dream is over or has it just begun?”

Comments

Anonymous said…
Thank you for sharing. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Call me anytime 573-9439. - Kevin Wade

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