Yesterday, I chaired by weekly Aphasia Support Group. Always arrive early to make sure that room is set up. Before that, I scout topics about Aphasia, traumatic brain injury, strokes, etc.
Every week, try to identify YouTube videos or articles so I can led the group for an hour. Internet is my friend.Getting ready on Wednesday, I "checked in" on Facebook to convey that I was feeling positive to see my fellow stroke and aphasia survivors.
On my personal Facebook page I posted a picture of our meeting room plus a cartoon about brain fatigue.
Every week, ask everybody "how have you been doing this week?" We all know each other. We understand our stories. We understand the unseen challenges every day that nobody knows about.
When we were talking about brain fatigue, we all commented -- given that because of aphasia some of us cannot speak very well -- "it is real."
One person commented that every minute of every day needs to have a conscious effort to deal with our brains. From tying a shoe or maneuvering down the stairs to our meeting room takes very deliberate brain activity.
Without exception, we get tired and need time to rejuvenate our brains. I call it my "silent space."
We also watched a video about anger management after a stroke. Several people commented that they have "short fuses" now.
Some of us (like me) do not really show a lot of emotion. For me sometimes it is sadness. Often I’m just too tired expand the brain energy because my batteries are running low.
One person said, "It must be exhausting to be that ‘Mark Dunham’ because of your responsibilities and being so visible."
I laughed but it’s true. I am tired putting on the "Mark Dunham Show."
That show was exhausting at times. I ruminate and multi-task in my damaged brain.
Putting on the Mark Dunham Show (Public official, survivor, family man, volunteer) is hard. I keep trying to be the old Mark Dunham. There are cracks in my foundation.
I talk about all of this with my Aphasia friends. Nobody else understands.
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