Dunham Family and My Stroke Story!

World Stroke Day is observed on October 29. I didn’t really think about strokes until I had mine. My two strokes were caused by a torn carotid artery because of a genetic condition called fibromuscular dysplasia. The bottom line is 20% of my brain is dead and I have aphasia. I was 50 years old and in good health. This photo shows my brain scan. The white sections on my brain shows dead brain tissue. Here are some sobering strokes statistics: Stroke kills about 140,000 Americans each year--that’s 1 out of every 20 deaths. Someone in the United States has a stroke every 40 seconds.  Every 4 minutes, someone dies of stroke. Every year, more than 795,000 people in the United States have a stroke.  About 610,000 of these are first or new strokes. About 185,00 strokes--nearly 1 of 4--are in people who have had a previous stroke. About 87% of all strokes are ischemic strokes, in which blood flow to the brain is blocked. Stroke costs the United States an estimated $34 billion each yea...

Last weekend I was in Austin, Texas for a meeting. I’m on the Board of the Idaho Housing and Finance Association and this was a national meeting. During the trip to Austin, I was thinking of all the travel I used to do professionally. I was the CEO of the Idaho Association of Realtors®️, the lobbyist and a vice president at Boise State University, and the director of the Associated General Contractors in Idaho. With those jobs I also traveled throughout the state and the Northwest. That means from 1984 until January 10, 2012 I traveled extensively for work: Hundreds of flights, airports, conference rooms, and hotel rooms. One morning in Austin, I laid out my travel bag with items such as a razor and a toothbrush. I was struck about those ordinary items that are used to take for granted. In the hospital right after my massive stroke, my therapists patiently made me name those items. For toiletry items, I had to figure out how to use them. It was incredibly humbling and perp...

Yesterday, I chaired by weekly Aphasia Support Group. Always arrive early to make sure that room is set up. Before that, I scout topics about Aphasia, traumatic brain injury, strokes, etc. Every week, try to identify YouTube videos or articles so I can led the group for an hour. Internet is my friend.Getting ready on Wednesday, I "checked in" on Facebook to convey that I was feeling positive to see my fellow stroke and aphasia survivors. On my personal Facebook page I posted a picture of our meeting room plus a cartoon about brain fatigue. Every week, ask everybody "how have you been doing this week?" We all know each other. We understand our stories. We understand the unseen challenges every day that nobody knows about. When we were talking about brain fatigue, we all commented -- given that because of aphasia some of us cannot speak very well -- "it is real." One person commented that every minute of every day needs to have a conscious effort to deal wit...

Yesterday, I was completely wiped out. Physically and emotionally, I just needed a "time out!" My wife keeps reminding me that 20% of my brain is dead. "Cut yourself some slack," she admonishes me. My parents had a very strong work ethic, and we could never be "lazy." Even though I have brain damage, I still feel lazy if I’m not doing something productive. Childhood habits die hard. I saw my neurologist last week for my yearly check up. She’s always been concerned that I tried to do too much. I am trying to think about my "limits." I’ve been involved with some recent stressful issues. My son’s health is one thing. Also, I also am the chairman of the board for the College of Western Idaho. Chairing those meetings and strategizing about campaigns and personalities has been more stressful recently. In addition, yesterday was the sixth anniversary of my mother’s death. So basically I just crashed and burned. A massive headache ensued. I got very emot...

Every Wednesday, I attend the Idaho Aphasia, Apraxia, and Dysarthria Support Group which is basically a support group for stroke survivors. Today we shared our experiences like losing friendships after strokes.  It was an eye-opening session for me. All afternoon I’ve been thinking about real friendships.  My mom died almost 6 years ago. On her deathbed, she bluntly told me "Maybe your strokes were a blessing. You can feel sorry for yourself or you can make a difference. You have a choice to make." Every week I am blessed to gather with my fellow stroke warriors. I am so grateful for their strength.  Mom was right. Nevertheless, I did lose a lot of friends after my strokes. Many survivors tell the same story. Some fell away because they were so despondent about the "new me." I get it but it’s sad. Some so-called friends disappeared because I was not useful anymore. I didn’t have a political action committee perhaps?  Some friends were supportive. For a year or two. ...

"Cruel to Be Kind" is a 1979 single by Nick Lowe and it was a favorite song of mine in high school. The sentiments are pretty appropriate now. So many people believe that they have to be cruel to be kind to deal with the emotions my strokes and my son’s celiac disease. I have joined so many Facebook groups dealing with strokes, aphasia, and celiac disease. Those online support groups are incredibly helpful for me. With those three conditions our family has experienced, the common thread often is "It’s God‘s will" or "it will just take time to adjust." Though well-intentioned, often people say "I have to say this. I know it’s hard. But I have to be cruel to be kind let you know that need to just buck up and accept this new reality." Really? Today, a stroke survivor on Facebook lamented that her brother basically said, "We’re all tired of your shit. Just get over it and move on. We’ve moved on. I don’t think you realize how much your stroke ha...

When my son was diagnosed with celiac disease about a month ago, we have had ups and downs. He’s missed several days of school because of the illness. A couple of days ago, he sick and he missed his morning classes. We let him sleep in. I laid on the bed with him with his dog. I watched him for half hour in the dark. I stroked his brow. It was so peaceful. About a beautiful song recorded by Frank Sinatra. This lyric summed up my feelings that morning: "Quiet thoughts and quiet dreams, Quiet walks by quiet streams, And a window looking on the mountains and the sea, oh how lovely." It was lovely morning and I lovely memory my son.     

6 1/2 years since my strokes, I am dealing with a new challenge involving my son. Recently he was diagnosed with celiac disease. Dealing with the aftermath of my strokes was challenging physically and emotionally. Yet, this diagnosis is heartbreaking. Certainly, it is not fatal and will be controlled by a life long diet. Nevertheless, I am struggling to keep it together. I’ve always been a strong person. Despite my strokes and my brain damage, I try to continue to lead a normal life. Since the diagnosis of my son’s celiac disease, I’m struggling to find answers about the effect of my strokes and my son’s diagnosis. With my strokes and my Aphasia, meaningful communication is difficult. How can I find words to comfort my son? How can I find the words to help him deal with his 13-year-old emotions. I cannot even help with his homework. Research shown that personality changes are common after a stroke. Despite my best efforts I "fake it" a lot. Honestly, every d...

Recently, our son was diagnosed with celiac disease. Here is the textbook definition: "Celiac disease is a serious autoimmune disorder that can occur in genetically predisposed people where the ingestion of gluten leads to damage in the small intestine. It is estimated to affect 1 in 100 people worldwide. Two and one-half million Americans are undiagnosed and are at risk for long-term health complications." "When people with celiac disease eat gluten (a protein found in wheat, rye and barley), their body mounts an immune response that attacks the small intestine. These attacks lead to damage on the villi, small fingerlike projections that line the small intestine, that promote nutrient absorption. When the villi get damaged, nutrients cannot be absorbed properly into the body." Bottom line for victims like my son? These are the things that can happen:  • Anemia, usually resulting from iron deficiency  • Loss of bone density (osteoporosis) or soften...

My mother-in-law, Phyllis Saxton, grew up in Caldwell. She and her husband, Harvey, owned Saxton Fruit Farm on the south side of Lake Lowell. She is spending a couple of days with us recovering from shoulder surgery. She loves her newspapers. She reads the Idaho Statesman and the Idaho Press Tribune. This morning, I cut up the newspapers so she could read with one hand because of the shoulder surgery. In my opinion, Idaho Statesman shadow of its former self. They still have great reporters, but there it’s not really a lot of news anymore. On the other hand, the Idaho Press Tribune based in Nampa is expanding their news coverage throughout the Treasure Valley. They hired the best political reporter in Idaho, Betsy Russell. They have a robust presence in every way. After cutting out the fluff, classifieds, and ads, this photo shows why the Idaho Press Tribune has more in depth news coverage then the Statesman. Pretty sad. Even when my mother-in-law goes back to her own house, I’m pretty ...

Recently I completed a very simple project. Our old mailbox post is comprised of one 40 year old 4 x 4 post and the horizontal supports made by two 2 x 4’s. Through the years, all the boards have splintered. I have tried to fix the boards for years with nails, screws, etc. Our neighbor’s mailbox basically fell off several months ago and I tried to fix it with new screws.  Last week when my wife was out of town, I decided to completely fix the whole thing. I did this when she was out of town because she’s very nervous when I use any tools at all.  Because of my strokes, vision loss and my aphasia, it is a little difficult for me to do simple handyman jobs that used to be second nature to me. I sold my tablesaw but kept my miter box. I did complete the job. No blood was shed. But quite honestly, in the old days it would’ve taken me maybe 30 minutes to do this whole job. This job took at least 10 hours including brakes because sometimes I get overheated and dizzy w...

 After my stroke 6 1/2 years ago, my wife let me have my phone. I was dazed and confused but I wanted to check to see if I could even use my phone.  The first thing I did was to login to Twitter to check news. The 140 character Twitter app what is a convenient way for me to read news. Unfortunately, even though it was only 140 characters, I could not read the news. I cannot understand and comprehend letters and numbers.  During my rehab stint, my therapist was trying to explain to me about Aphasia. Reading comprehension difficulties are a common feature of aphasia, affecting the understanding of single words, sentences, paragraphs and extended text.  Though Aphasia is not curable, through years of therapy and compensating, I have gotten better.  Recently, I bought an Amazon Fire Stick. To set it up, I had to enter my password and my user ID. For years after my strokes, I simply could not complete that task. Often, though embarrassing, I would ask my young son to...

A lot of my childhood memories for earaches. I had chronic earaches. I would pray to make the pain stop. Sometimes when I would wake up there would be blood on my pillow and I was actually happy. In my childhood brain, blood meant that my eardrum would rupture and the pain would go away. Even now, in my 50s, doctors often comment that I have so much scar tissue on my eardrums. The earaches went away when I was about 10 years. When I was 50 years old, my strokes happened. As a result I have chronic headaches. When I was a little boy, my mom would hold me and whispered to me saying "I want to take your pain away." She had a beautiful singing voice and she would sing soft lullabies to me so I could fall asleep despite the pain. Today is an especially painful headache day. I miss my mom anyway. She died almost 6 years ago. Upstairs in a darkened cool bedroom I’m dealing with my headache pain. I really wish my mom would sing a lullaby to me.

Are my strokes 6 1/2 years ago, I attended some local stroke support groups. As my brain cleared through the months, I became more aware of my conditions. I wanted to explore "me." What is Aphasia? What are the statistics? How can I reach out to other survivors? I started to do some online research about strokes and aphasia. Though reading was still difficult, I researched as much as I could. I wanted more. "More" in the sense that I wanted to reach out to people like me: Younger stroke survivors with Aphasia. When I would attend stroke support groups, most of the time the survivors were much older than me. I craved interaction with people who could understand my issues. And I had many issues. I lost my career and my income. I had a young son. Lost my identity in a sense. How was I going to fill up my days? With Aphasia, not even pursue my hobbies such as reading and woodworking. I do love my older stroke survivor friends, but most of the people who atten...

We were invited to a brunch to celebrate a friend’s mom’s award as the "Congregant of the Year" at her church. At the brunch, most of the people were pretty elderly. As one older woman was leaving, out of the blue she said, "Oh this must be the Republican table."  "What," I responded? She confirmed that she heard that we were the Republicans in the group. Nervous laughter ensued because none of our group voted for the current president.  In fact, a close friend of mine at the brunch might be a Democratic Socialist.  None of us voted for Trump or Hillary Clinton. Two horrible candidates so we voted for other people for our own self respect. Nevertheless we had to defend ourselves for no reason.  I realized at that brunch, that the political venom is getting so personal that a geriatric political progressive needs to chastise people she doesn’t know anything about. I used the term "political progressive" on purpose. This woman stereotyped without k...

100 years ago today, Czar Nicholas II and his entire family were executed in a bloody basement room. Vladimir Lenin, the Bolshevik leader, ordered the murders. The tragedy of this murdered family paled in comparison to the tens of millions murders throughout communist history. Nicholas and his family were just the start decades of carnage because of the Communist Party. Nicholas was incompetent at best. He was an inept demagogue. He was vain, isolated, and relatively stupid. Romanovs also killed many people during their 300 year reign. Certainly I am not excusing the brutality of Russian life. Nevertheless, the backstory was a personal family tragedy. They had five children and the youngest was the only boy. He was born with hemophilia because of his mother, one of Queen Victoria‘s granddaughters. The royal houses of Europe were ripe with first cousins marrying first cousins. Hemophilia was the result. This personal tragedy was kept secret because of political impli...

My two strokes were 6 1/2 years ago. Ever since I’ve had headaches. Recently, I have had a new kind of headache which caused my neurologist to order another CT scan. Usually a CT scan is about a 15 minute process. However, I’ve always had "difficulty veins." Nurses have always had difficulty finding a vein to insert an IV. As an elected official and a former lobbyist, I have a thick skin. Who knew underneath that tough skin is a mishmash of bad veins! Recently, I was poked and prodded for three hours. Finally a neurosurgeon used an ultrasound to find a vein. He still had difficulty. As a result, my bruises have a wide range of colors! The doctor, nurses and the radiologists kept saying that I am "such a kind and patient man." It’s not their fault and screams are overrated. The good news is, the CT scan showed NO new brain damage. The bad news is six years of headaches with no relief. But I’m still alive!

Recently, my wife mentioned started my blog 10 years ago. She also noticed but I have not really bloggod for months and months. That is completely true. I started my blog to keep track of memories of our son. My blog changed focused years ago when I had my strokes. Since my stroke 6 1/2 years ago, I’ve tried to write about my stroke experience. Honestly, gotten feedback that I should just "get over it." It is time to move on. At the same time, I was subjected to Internet trolls. For a while I thought about fighting back, because I am a middle aged white male, my opinions don’t really matter because I am "privileged." A year ago when I was confronted with Internet trolls, I had to find a definition: "A troll will use shock value to promote arguments in conversations, commonly in Facebook threads and in public online discussions. Named after the wicked troll creatures of children's tales, an internet troll is someone who stirs up drama and abuses the...

We left Greece and bordered a ship at Patras. It was supposed to be an overnight trip leaving at 7 PM arriving by noon the next day arriving at the port of Acona, Italy. Then a three hour bus ride through Tuscany to Florence. Instead, the ferry left at 8:00 PM and in the middle the night we stopped Albania for a couple of hours. There is mix up with food. The cabin were incredibly claustrophobic. It was almost oppressive. We basically have the whole day on the shelf for the kids played Uno and lounged around. That night the high school kids enjoyed the onboard disco. Heather did win €125 in the casino. After a 22 hour boat ride, we boarded a bus for a 3 1/2 hour ride.  It was an exhausting ordeal actually.  The next day we explored Florence. Stay tuned for the next blog post.

Being a history buff, I’ve always understood that the Catholic Church was split in about 1000 A.D. Our Greek tour guide mentioned the differences a little bit yesterday, but she did not capture the full history. Today I saw a small Greek orthodox by the roadside and I’m going to insert about the history. Eastern Orthodox Catholics and Roman Catholics are the result of what is known as the East-West Schism (or Great Schism) of 1054, when medieval Christianity split into two branches. The Byzantine split with Roman Catholicism came about when Pope Leo III crowned Charlemagne, King of the Franks, as Holy Roman Emperor in 800. From the Byzantine viewpoint, this was a slap to the Eastern Emperor and the Byzantine Empire itself — an empire that had withstood barbarian invasions and upheld the faith for centuries. After Rome fell in 476, Byzantium was the only vestige of the Holy Roman Empire. Charlemagne’s crowning made the Byzantine Emperor redundant, and relations between the East and...

Today we arrived in Delphi after the three hour bus ride. The scenery is amazing. This is Greece I’ve heard about: Cobblestone streets, quaint shops and restaurants, and crazy one-way streets! And the smallest bathroom we’ve ever seen. 

We had the opportunity to go to Europe for spring break. Yesterday on Saturday, we toured Athens.  We saw the temple of Poseidon which was stunning.  The temple of Poseidon at Sounion was constructed in 444–440 BC. This was during the ascendancy of the Athenian statesman Pericles, who also rebuilt the Parthenon in Athens. It was built on the ruins of a temple dating from the Archaic period. It is perched above the sea at a height of almost 60 metres (200 ft). The design of the temple is a typical hexastyle, i.e., it had a front portico with six columns.[6] Only some columns of the Sounion temple stand today, but when intact it would have closely resembled the contemporary and well-preserved Temple of Hephaestus beneath the Acropolis, which may have been designed by the same architect. As with all Greek temples, the Poseidon building was rectangular, with a colonnade on all four sides. The total number of original columns was 34: 15 columns still stand today. The columns are of...