Dunham Family and My Stroke Story!

On Thanksgiving morning, the paper was thick with "Black Friday" ads enticing recession-weary people to stores in hopes of grabbing a bargain for Christmas. For the Dunhams , that involves not just Christmas but planning for a trip to Disney World in March. We need a new portable DVD player. Ethan has now gone through three or four in his brief four-plus years of life, and, despite admonishing him not to touch the "guts" of the DVD, he routinely does so. The last one lasted only a few months. So, I carefully went through every ad and considered the aggravation factor of heading out for 5:00 a.m. sales on Black Friday, a tradition that I consider idiotic at best. Yet, as a parent, I have succumbed to the idiocy by considering trekking out among the rabid crowds. Not quite. At 7:15 this morning, I awoke and thought "What the hell. I'll head to Target for the $47.00 RCA product." I got there, found a parking space amid the madness, and walked in to find l

Is it wrong to ground a little boy for stating the obvious? Ethan is very excited about Christmas this year. Being a four year old (two months shy of five), he is getting into the decorating, the excitement, and, of course, the speculative toys as we read newspaper toy inserts over and over. He will say, "Oh Daddy. I want that and that and that and that! Oh, and Daddy? I'm REAAALLYYY gonna get that for Christmas!" His excitement has translated into decorating earlier than normal. As we pulled out boxes from under the stairs, he said seriously, "Daddy, we've never started this early before." He has so much experience.... As I sat on the living room floor last night unpacking Christmas decorating treasures, he stood over my shoulder exclaiming, "Daddy! I remember that one!" However, one exclamation gave Daddy pause. Ethan, during a lull, rubbed the top of my head, and said, "Hey Daddy. I can see your skin." In the spirit of the holidays,

I was in Washington DC for three days attending meetings for the College of Western Idaho along with Guy Hurlbutt, a fellow trustee. Guy is the quintessential Southern gentleman, and he visited family in South Carolina prior to our meeting. Guy asked me during the session in an apologetic way if he could use my laptop to access flight arrangements. Almost as an aside, he told me he needed to head back to South Carolina after our meeting because his older brother had died. It was bittersweet that Guy had the opportunity to visit his 85 year old brother and was there when he passed. But, nevertheless, Guy lost his brother. My oldest brother arrives tomorrow for the first visit with the family in about 18 months. Our mom and step-dad arrive tonight on the bus for the visit. My brother turned 59 a few weeks ago, and I'm 48. Our brothers are 57 and 54 respectively. I couldn't help but think of my brothers when Guy delivered his tough news in his typically gracious manner. I simply c

The Dunhams had a very busy Halloween weekend. The adults attended a neighbor's annual Halloween party where Mark dressed as a vampire at the urging (i.e., insistence) of Ethan while Heather wore her grandmother's signature polyester fur trimmed orange 70's outfit. The next day, Mark again donned his vampire attire (and, sigh, the full face make up and black hair spray) to join Ethan "Eddie Munster" Dunham for a packed day of parties and trick or treating. After spending time with his cousins at cousin Zoey's 1st birthday party where everyone -- including Disco Heather -- was required to be in full costume, we headed home to trick or treat with the neighbor kids. After a rush around the neighborhood it was home to answer the door which Ethan insisted on doing alone in his vampire regalia. The next day as we put away the Halloween decorations, Ethan asked, "Daddy, today is Thanksgiving isn't it?" I replied, "No. Thanksgiving is in a few week

Randomness about Ethan! In an effort to somehow document the crazy things Ethan says, here's a list of recent funny things he has said: 1. He calls his mom a "silly bunion." 2. He calls me "silly underwear." 3. He has now decided to be a vampire for Halloween after starting out as a Transformer and moving to a pirate. "Vampires are COOL Daddy!" 4. In planning a family trip to Disney World in 2010, Ethan looked at me and said in his most earnest fashion, "Daddy. Do NOT forget a stroller. These little legs will get kinda tired walking too much." 5. Anything that is bad is a "rat." As in, "Daddy, he's a rat" or "That show is a rat" or "that food is a rat." 6. When he doesn't like something to eat, he will grasp his belly, moan, and act sick saying "My tummy hurts!" When we remind him that having a stomach ache means no ice cream, he replies "Well, I think that might make me

I know a father who is a very busy construction executive. This hard-charging entrepreneur sets aside one night per week to spend with his son who is about 7 years old. It doesn't matter if a mogul or a politician calls. They spend that evening as father and son. I've been meaning to do that with my son Ethan. It just seems too often that the days, weeks, and then years slip by. Before you know it, you' are a cliche straight from the old "Cats in the Cradle" weepy Harry Chapin song from the 70's. Last night, I thought a lot about this as Ethan and I spent an evening together. While Heather played Florence Nightengale to the neighbors (dear friend who is widowed with a 6 year old and 2 year old rushed to hospital for an appendectomy on top of swine flu...count your blessings!), Ethan accompanied me to a parenting class. We then spent an hour at a McDonalds that was virtually deserted. He engaged in excited conversation, talked about school, Halloween, building

My son is named Ethan Stanford Dunham. My father was Stanford Arlen Dunham, and Ethan's middle name is a tribute to my dad who died in 1993. For me, my dad was almost more of a buddy because my mom married my beloved step-father, Karl Brown, when I was 8 years old. Karl was my day-to-day father. Nevertheless, as I grew up, I spent a lot of time with my dad who we often called "Stan the Man." He was a great guy, a character whose irreverance and wit endeared him to many. I still think about him everyday and wonder what he would be doing had he not been taken from us when he was only 63. It is inevitable I suppose that families on both sides of a child's parentage look at a kid and claim dominance in terms of genes. Ethan does look a lot like my wife Heather though I claim his eyebrows! I appreciate that many on Heather's side suggest he "looks just like David, or just like...." Alternatively, I have friends who say he looks just like my brother Steve. I a

I've already blogged about my mom's chocolate chip cookies, but we have now reached a crisis: We are out of them. Tonight, I told Ethan that we were out of Grandma's cookies but could eat Heather's. He said, "Disgusting!" Later, I sneaked him one of his mothers along with an ice cold milk. He ate part of it, and then said, "Daddy. Why don't you finish it. It just isn't very good." On another Ethan note, over the weekend, he spent a couple days with his cousin who took him to a Vallivue High football game followed the next day with breakfast with the Vallivue Cross Country team. When I asked him if he was having fun (while we were in Vegas), over the phone in a plaintive little voice he replied, "Not very well. Last night I barfed like a chicken." He didn't "barf," but he is a bit under the weather. He told me tonight that he just didn't feel well enough to help with the dishes. "My legs are just too tired Dadd

Wikipedia defines “Stockholm Syndrome” as a psychological response sometimes seen in abducted hostages in which the hostage shows signs of loyalty to the hostage-taker, regardless of the danger or risk in which they have been placed.” Coincidentally, Nobel Peace prizes are awarded in Stockholm, Sweden meaning President Barack Obama, less than one year on the job, will travel to Stockholm in December to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. Apparently, his second trip to Scandinavia will be more fruitful than his unsuccessful trek to Copenhagen to get the Olympics in Chicago. There is a certain irony that a psychological condition based on a cult of personality where prisoners become enamored of their captors is named for the same city where an award will be given to a person whose credentials for a Nobel Peace Prize are thin at best but seem based primarily on the fact that he is NOT George W. Bush. Of course, this is the same group that awarded Jimmy Carter a peace prize in 2002 in recogn

My mother makes amazing chocolate chip cookies. I'm probably biased having spent 48 years eating them; however, my college buddies also can attest to their quality. In fact, for years, my mom has baked chocolate chip cookies for them as well. Ethan has inherited an affinity for "Grandma's Cookies." She bakes them for him, and we put them in the freezer. Ethan and I dole them out sparingly. When he is sick, he sometimes whines, rubs his belly, and says "I think one of Grandma's cookies may make me feel a little better." Every once in a while, Heather decides to make chocolate chip cookies. Don't get me wrong, Heather's are great, but...well, they are just not my mom's. I know I run the risk of engaging in the old "Well, my mom's are better than my wife's." I don't want to do that, so I refrain from saying anything. But, the old adage "out of the mouths of babes" means Ethan isn't quite so restrained. The oth

The other night, Ethan sat on my lap and said, "Daddy? You know my friend Gus? From school?" I replied, "Yes. I know Gus." Ethan continued, "Well, Daddy, do you know Gus' dad?" I said, "Yes. I know his dad. He teaches school at Boise State." Gus' dad is a Geology professor. Ethan nodded earnestly, and said, "Well, Daddy, Gus went to work with his daddy one day. All day. I think we should do that some time! What do you think?" I said, "Ethan, I would love that." He suddenly crossed his arms which is a non-verbal cue that he is serious, looked me straight in the eye, and said, "Daddy. If you have meetings that day, I don't want to do it. I don't have the clothes."

I've been away from the blog for quite some time because August and now September seemed to just fly by. It is 2009 now. In addition, the Dunhams seemed to have been visited by the proverbial Biblical plagues including hornets! We've had bronchitis, pneumonia, going to the fair, emergency room visits while on vacation after almost dying (seriously) from an insect bite, allergy studies, sleep studies, school starting again, tailgating with friends, vacationing in the mountains, and learning about Epi Pins! In the beginning was August! I spent time in Idaho Falls, Twin Falls, and Jackpot for work. In addition, there were some "fun" trips including an August 13th jaunt to Minneapolis to visit a college buddy and his wife. Unfortunately, that afternoon as we looked at the river down the hill from their house, I was stung by something. Within minutes, I had allergy symptoms prompting my buddy Ted to give me Benadryl before nonchalantly driving toward an emergency room. Our

Ethan continues to say things that cause laughter and amazement. In no particular order: 1. This morning he expressed frustration about having to go "#1" and then almost immediately "#2." He hurried back to the bathroom where he idled away sitting on the toilet frustrated "that is just won't come out." Heather laughed and offered him a magazine indicating that's what guys did. Ethan declined but did say "I'm gonna be here till tomorrow." 2. Ethan has picked up on some negative sayings at pre-school, but that is typical I suppose. When he gets frustrated he lashes out verbally indicating that we are not his parents. The other night when he was frustrated about going to bed, he said, "I'm not tired. I'm not hungry. I'm not going to bed. Ever." When I sternly put him to bed, he said, "You are NOT my dad. Dad." The irony was lost on him. 3. The other day, he was coloring in his Transformer's coloring b

I haven't blogged in a long time it seems because I've been so busy...busy with life, with work, and with a 30 year high school class reunion. My class reunion held in Twin Falls, Idaho the weekend of July 10 had a profound impact on me for some reason. It may be because I got reacquainted with classmates I hadn't seen in years coupled with the realization that I had known many of these 47-48 years olds since the time I was my son Ethan's age. I found myself wondering if the friends and memories he is making today will resonate through the decades. Of course, I was raised in a relatively small community with a handful of kindergartens, five grade schools, two junior highs, and one high school. We didn't get cable television for years. In other words, the class of 1979 grew up in a relatively cloistered environment with few outside influences. That is a double-edged sword I suppose, but the faces at the 30 year reunion were the same faces posted in grade school ph

Ethan, at 4, seems to be planning for his future. He has developed quite a crush on a girl at school meaning he now has at least three love interests. The other day, Ethan -- who actually hates to have his hair combed let alone washed -- asked his mother to style it in a "faux hawk" which is essentially a modified Mohawk with the hair combed toward the middle and gelled to a point. When she asked why, he replied that our 13 year old neighbor boy (who sports this hairstyle) said "it will help you get more girls." So, Heather did the style and Ethan left for school evidently scouting for prom dates.

My oldest brother lives in Reno and usually visits once a year during the summer. A couple of months ago, I sent him my summer schedule showing a hectic pace that seemed reasonable in e-mail but seems daunting as we live it. There is always so much going on, but we live a very busy lifestyle which can be fun but exhausting. Last week, I spent 3 days in Coeur d'Alene, one day in the office back in Boise, and then 4 days in Sun Valley attending the Governor's Cup. Heather and Ethan joined me in Sun Valley, and it was fun though the weather turned cold and rainy on the one day I had free time to bike ride with Ethan. As a result, the walls of our tiny studio condo started to close in on us. This weekend, we're off to New Meadows with Heather's sisters for the weekend followed next weekend by what I hope will be a relatively uneventful 4th of July holiday. Then, my 30th class reunion is upon us followed by our annual "We really will get rid of everything we don't n

The 30th class reunion for Twin Falls High School is fast approaching, and the deadline to register is June 22. Below is the list of classmates still on the missing list. For more information or to give information on a missing person, e-mail tfhs79@hotmail.com

Ethan continues to entertain us with his perspective on life. A week ago, the neighborhood elementary school that he will attend in a couple of years had its year end carnival which we've taken him to since he was a baby. This year as in the past couple of years, we went with our 5 year old neighbor Elizabeth who is Ethan's closest friend though they can fight like a brother and sister. They had their faces painted, did a cake walk (Elizabeth won), played on the jumpies, and ended up on the standby monkey bars. Elizabeth fell off, and, over a week later, she is seeing an orthopedic surgeon to determine if the severe break she suffered in the fall will necessitate surgery. At the time, Ethan showed little sympathy and seemed exasperated that her fall might interrupt the carnival. He took my face in his little hands, looked me earnestly in the eyes, and said, "Daddy. Maybe they should just cut off her arm." Over the course of the past few weeks, we had some close out of

One night prior to Memorial Day, Heather and I stopped at Cloverdale Cemetary because Ethan expressed interest in visiting where my dad is buried. Then on Memorial Day, he wanted to go with me to place flowers on Dad's grave. "Grave" is a stretch because it's a relatively small niche because Dad wanted to be cremated. Every once in a while, Ethan asks about death and this was no exception. Upon viewing the niche, he asked, "But how did you get him in there?" I asked what he meant, and he responded, "How did you fit him in?" I had to stop to think and quickly pointed to the screws holding the marble plates on indicating we had to unscrew those. He said, "Oh. Yeah." We then walked toward the graves of some dear friends including a woman who was like my second mom, Carolyn. We placed flowers on her grave, and then walked back to my dad's niche. As we walked, Ethan asked "If your daddy is in Heaven, how is he in the cementary (yes..

Mothers Day was a great day! Ethan told his mom yesterday that he and Daddy would make her breakfast, "But, that's it. After that Dad and I are doing what we want." Of course, Ethan decided to sleep late today meaning Daddy went to get Mommy a mocha and cook her breakfast. When Ethan decided to get up and moving, "doing what we want" meant biking and walking the greenbelt, running through sprinklers, riding bikes some more, and tonight Heather drove him by the baby buffalo at her farm. All in all, it was a great day!

I'm diverting from the primary purpose for the "Dunham Family Blog" today because I'm weary of the political spin about transportation funding in Idaho and Governor Otter in particular. Obviously, as the Executive Director of the Idaho Associated General Contractors, I have an interest in transportation funding. However, though some legislators dismiss us as a "special interest" (until election time comes around), they should not and cannot escape the truth: Idaho must invest more in our transportation infrastructure for the sake of citizen safety and the state's economy. What prompts me to divert from family news today is the latest round of Otter-bashing which is as unfair as it is duplicitous. Here's what I sent out to a large group of friends today: Friends, I’m sending this to a group of friends in my contact list because I’m frustrated with the erroneous spin being put on Governor Otter’s transportation funding efforts -- in particular his vis

Months ago I blogged that the Dunhams had cabin fever, but this was the first really nice weekend in a long time with temperatures reaching the 70's. Ethan and I mowed the lawn for the first time, and Heather cleaned up the yard. We biked to the Boise Train Depo t where "Big Mike" the locomotive was dedicated and took an elevator to the top of the tower. The weekend was also filled with gratefulness about what we have as some neighbors packed to move away. The 6 year old boy spent most of his time with us, and it was tough to hear about the difficulties experienced in a house next door. It makes you wonder what decisions made in life send some people down one path and others down another. The things we are teaching Ethan now will last a lifetime, and as the neighbors drive off in their U-Haul -- a mom and two boys with different dads headed to a house bought by the grandparents where the littlest boy says "we can finally live somewhere forever" -- we can only ho

Awhile back, Ethan's teachers recommended he be tested through the Boise School District, and, surprisingly, they suggested he might need glasses. Both Heather and I have vision problems, and I first started to wear glasses when I was in 7th grade. Today, Ethan had his eyes tested which included dilation. He told his mom that the drops made everything "look furry." The result? He has perfect vision! Now they are off to PoJo's to celebrate.

Easter is a fun time for the Dunhams mainly because we get to go to Heather's sister Laurie's house for the annual family event. This was the 32nd annual event (well, not for Ethan and I because we're relatively recent additions to the family), and the weather was simply wonderful as was the company and food (had to make sure I got that in the proper order....). However, this wasn't our only event. Yesterday morning, we were invited to a wonderful brunch at our friend Elina's house where Ethan participated in what was the first of three Easter egg hunts this weekend. Ethan and Mom then colored eggs. Last night the adults got to play as Heather and I laughed through our montly "Supper Club" which was hosted by our friend Elizabeth in her new house. The theme was French, and I even tried a snail. It was....well, I didn't vomit. It's apparent that my father's Norwegian roots take precedent over my mother's quarter French roots. However, becau

I’ve been thinking a lot about songs lately and how hearing one can instantly send you back in time. The very first song I can remember is “I Want To Hold Your Hand” by the Beatles. I remember being in our kitchen in Montana listening to it on the radio, and we moved to Twin Falls when I was 3. “You Are My Sunshine” is my brother Steve playing the guitar and encouraging his toddler brother to sing along. I wasn’t good then either. “Walking After Midnight” by Patsy Cline puts me on Falls Avenue East in Twin Falls listening to my mom sing along as she cleans house. I must have been about 4 years old at the time because I was not in school, yet I remember it vividly. Tammy Wynette had two hits which remind me of Mom, and they seem at odds with each other: “Stand By Your Man” and “D.I.V.O .R.C.E.” She sang a lot when I was a kid, and I remember being on icy Falls Avenue in Twin Falls in her red Buick station wagon hearing her sing those country songs. 40+ years later, I understand that she

I think it is a gender thing. My 4 year old son cannot stop laughing when he toots. "Toots" is the only word allowed in our household to describe the "f" word which, in this case for those of you with dirty minds is "flatulence" or the more common "fart." Ethan almost cries when laughing when he is...well...engaged in this behavior. I try to limit this....activity....cautioning him that he can NEVER do it at school, in front of Grandma (speaking from 48 years of personal experience, this is doomed to failure), or his mother. He will giggle, turn around, wiggle his "bum" (we also cannot use "butt" in our home), and either really....well...let one go or pretend to do so. Then he collapses in fits of laughter saying "Did you hear that one Daddy!" If it is particularly....well....smelly, he covers his nose amidst giggles and roars "Oh, that one stinks!" On the off chance he performs this typical male act in fr

March 27th was my 48th birthday which I find difficult to believe -- let alone accept! Talk about being the oldest dad at the preschool! One day as I walked down the long hall in the Boise State Children's Center to pick up Ethan, two little kids leaned out the window to their classroom and exclaimed "Hey, that looks like my grandpa!" The other said, "Yeah! It does look like your grandpa." Refraining from knocking them into their room, I picked up Ethan. Yesterday, I picked him up immediately after his nap, and we headed to the movie theater to meet his mom for an opening day viewing of "Monsters vs. Aliens." Ethan's been very excited about the movie, and, knowing it opened on my birthday, he counted down the days to my birthday. Every morning, he'd ask "Is it your birthday today Daddy?" That was kid code for "we get to go see my movie on your birthday." We had a great afternoon at the show (which had enough obscure adult hu

Garage sale season is beginning which means Heather is out and about on Saturday morning finding treasures. She loves finding deals, and she comes home with some amazing things. And some not so amazing things. But, 95% of the time, they're great. Ethan too is developing a love for garage sales because he's realized it's likely he will get some sort of treasure. Today, a woman was selling Halloween stuff, and Ethan bought a hanging skeleton as well as a Frankenstein set complete with a head and hands. Tonight as he was getting ready for bed, he told his mom to set something "over by Frank Stein."

Yesterday was 70 degrees in Boise, and today...well, the weather alternated being beautiful to pouring rain to thunder and lightening which is unusual for Boise. Ethan was a b it nervous about the lightening and made sure he was in the house safe after stowing his bikes in the garage. It's "bikes" because he's thiiiisssss close to giving up his reliable red "motorcycle" in favor of a bike given to him by his cousin. It has hand brakes, and he rode it today for the first time. He spent most of the time riding in puddles and getting soaked. He also played basketball with neighbor Nick though their definition of playing basketball involves Nick jumping over Ethan's head and dunking the ball. As Ethan gets taller, Nick had better jump a bit higher. In between puddles and basketball, Ethan helped Daddy with what is the third remodel of the guest bathroom in 10 years. Dad shouldn't be allowed to watch HGTV. Ethan told his mom that she wasn't allowed to

The other day, Heather was driving with Ethan who saw a sewer truck doing its duty. Ethan asked his mom what it was and she explained. He said, "That's a poopy job!"

March 14, 2009 was a "boys' day, Daddy!" I had arranged for the Dunham boys to join friends who also have 4 year old boys to attend the Monster Truck Jam at the Idaho Center. Heather was appalled at the prospect of getting in touch with your inner Mullet and declined to participate; however, Ethan looked forward to the event for weeks. He would say things like "I think the trucks are there already, Daddy. Let's go check!" This was two weeks before the show. Yesterday, he was up early for a Saturday because he was so excited. Daddy and Ethan enjoyed tacos for breakfast. It was, afterall, a boys' day. We ignored his mother's carefully chosen and ironed fashion selection for Ethan. What boy in his right mind would wear ironed cords to a Monster Truck Jam? Ethan said, "sheesh" and chose Levi's. Secure in our wrinkled Levi's, we departed at 11:30 to meet AJ LaBeau, Joe Kreizenbeck, and Zach Eaton at Wings near the Center. All was well i

We visited Grandpa and Grandma over the weekend in Twin Falls to celebrate their 39th wedding anniversary and his 84th birthday. Heather and Grandpa celebrated in Jackpot...both days. Both losers...both days and both people. Grandma, Ethan, and I hung out in Twin, visited the Herritt's Planetarium and Museum and CSI and checked out Candy Cane Park's "heavy equipment" as Ethan calls playground equipment. Grandma also got to cut Ethan's hair. On Sunday morning, Ethan told us he wanted to stay there for two more weeks. It made his grandparents smile.